Can He Tae It?

After deciding to stay in on a Friday night because I had a lot of studying to do over the weekend; exams were coming up. If I went out and got drunk there'd be no chance of me nursing a hangover and being productive the next day so I spent the bulk of the evening at my desk, reading my textbooks.

It got late and my brain was more than full, but I wasn't ready for bed yet, I did one of my more usual late night routines: I grabbed a beer and went to one of my favorite porn websites. It was a male submissive porn site.

My usual routine was to grab a beer and watch a movie, imaging that the guy in the scene was me. I'd almost invariably end up jerking off during the strap-on scene. The guy, tied up very well, usually bent over and asshole pushed into the air, as if presenting it, to a gorgeous girl, who usually wore nothing but a big plastic dick and a look of displeasure as she fucked her helpless victim.

The scene I had chosen today was a particularly good one. The girl was a cute, petite blonde who went by Lexi. She had the guy on his stomach draped over a small table, his legs spread wide open, his ankles tied to keep him like that, while his arms were tied to the table legs below him. So he was effectively reaching down to the floor. The girl had on a bright pink dildo and it was a bit bigger than usual. She lubed it up and she guided it in, with a look of sadistic pleasure.

The girl started to fuck the guy, shouting verbal abuse while slapping his ass and thighs. She then grabbed his hair with one hand and started to pick up the pace. You can always hear the slapping of the girl's soft thighs against the guy's bare ass, as he grunted in a mixture of pleasure and pain.

Every once in a while the guy would even cum from this, and this guy did, moaning loudly as the girl mercilessly forced the dildo in as far as it could possible go. As he was coming, and for a while after, the girl held the dildo deep in his ass. At this point the guy had a look on his face, one that showed he was sweaty, tired, sore and most importantly, content.

At this point, I came hard and probably felt similar to the guy on the table, but far less satisfied, missing that feeling of abuse and pain, and a real dominate women to heighten the experience.

The camera then showed his red, partially open asshole from the rough pounding it just took as the girl unhooked the guy from his ropes. She then made him lick the padded table clean of the semen mess he made on it. Seeing this I raised my own cum splashed hand to my mouth, but I couldn't bring myself to taste it, after I came any desire for doing anything sex related disappeared too, I'd imagine the only way I'd eat my own cum is if someone made me. But I was alone, and now all things sex and submission related were very unappealing, so I put my hand back down, and was about to turn off the movie, but the camera faded to black and the movie ended on its own.

I then got up and took a shower, washing the sticky cum off my cock and surrounding area. I got back out of the shower and sat back down on my chair naked, still a bit wet.

Not at all horny, I 'd rarely cum twice in a day, and even then it was only when I for some reason came in the afternoon and then met with a girl that night. However I was bored and I looked through the shoots to see if I could find any to remember to watch next time. As I got to the bottom of the page I saw a set of small text links underneath the next page link.

There was one that caught my eyes -- Jobs. My boredom subsiding, I eventually clicked through enough links and found one that accepted applications for actors in the movies, both guy and girl.

Curious, I scrolled through to what a man gets paid to be a submissive. It was $500. I guess that's about what I expected. It's pretty good for what wasn't even a full day of work. I imagine most of them really enjoyed what they did, who else gets paid to cum?

My curiosity satisfied, I left the computer, grabbed another beer and put the TV on.

At the end of the TV movie and 3 more beers later I was ready for bed. I didn't intend to drink 4 beers that night when I stayed in, but it was way less than what I would have drank going out so I was still sure I'd be OK for studying tomorrow. I didn't know why I did that. I think back on it and I think it was just the thought of being in a porn, it struck a chord in me.

I went to turn the computer off and saw that same screen listing the payment for porn stars. I'd already totally forgotten about it.

Imagine me being in a porn? Me, a fucking porn star! Especially as one that would be in super embarrassing positions, not a single person in the whole world knew that I was into this male submissive shit...well that wasn't totally true: I'd been with a few girls that were kinky and we'd engaged in some "non standard" shit. One girl stuck her finger in my asshole while she was giving me a blow job, and the only reason I let it happen at the time was because I was hammered, but once in, it felt really nice, she was doing a tickling motion in there, and it brought me over the edge for a good orgasm. That night still stands out in my mind as an important point in my sexual self awareness.

Later on some other girls I'd tied up and then they'd usually want to tie me up, more out of curiosity and reciprocity then anything, but I got off on it, even though they were usually kind of shy and gentle. So a few girls knew that I was into some mildly kinky stuff, but no one knew that I had always craved more, much, much more.

From these brief ventures into my submissive side I'd experimented a lot on my own, embarrassed to tell these girls that I wanted them to dominate me in bed, instead satisfying my cravings on my own. I'd went to the local sex toy store and, while I was beyond embarrassed, I picked up a bunch of stuff that I'd seen used in pornos or just looked fun. I couldn't meet the cashier's eye the whole time.

The contents of my bag that day was as follows: a standard vibrator, nipple clamps, a cock ring, a jar of lube and two butt plugs, one a bit more than an inch at its thickest and the other, which I didn't think I'd ever even get to really use, was almost 2 and a half inches at its widest point and the part that my asshole had to squeeze around was about an inch and a half, bigger than the widest part of the whole other plug. It was graduated slowly though, so I figured I could put part of it in when I was feeling daring.

That very day almost as soon as I got home I stripped and got into the shower, as I dried myself I made sure all the doors were locked and the blinds totally closed as well.

I was excited to try this out for the first time, but also nervous. It had been a little less than three months since that one night stand with the girl who had fingered my asshole and I hadn't gotten up the nerve to do to myself.

I got a fresh towel and laid it over the carpeted floor and then queued up a scene from my male sub site.

At first I applied the nipple clamps, they had a pressure adjuster to change how much force they pinched with, cautious at first I moved it so the clamps wouldn't even grip my nipples, but soon enough, to my great surprise I had taken the restricter completely off so I received maximum force. My very first experiment I could do the maximum.

Feeling confident that this was a good idea now, that this was something for me, I then got on all fours and lubed my finger up, the feeling of the clamps pulling my nipples as my body moved made my dick jump, this was really good already. That pain pleasure feeling I was imaging on the movies felt as awesome as I suspected.

I then delicately maneuvered my finger until I felt it on the opening of my asshole. I started to push the greased digit into my tense ass, I barely started when I met a ton of resistance. I was very aware of the fact that a finger was smaller than pretty much every shit I ever took so it should be easy.

I then started to do what I do when I took a shit, I pushed out, and I felt the resistance break and I slid my finger in easily.

I realized it wasn't bad at all, I could feel my asshole gripping it somewhat. I don't know why but I expected this to hurt or something, it didn't in the least. I then experimented controlling my asshole, relaxing and clenching it. I found that very soon it was under my control to a large extent, probably not totally, but I could loosen and tighten it if I concentrated on it.

After a little of this, I decided to slide my index finger in and out a few times, now with great ease. I tickled myself inside with it for a while, this feel nice, and reminded me of that fateful one night stand.

Eager to push farther, I got the vibrator, the skinniest device of my purchases, and lubed it up. It too, was smaller than a shit and slid easily into my asshole as I exerted my new muscle control to allow access.

I then started the movie and before the action even started I couldn't help but slowly slide the vib in and out of my ass. It felt really good, an experience I'd never felt before, a whole new pleasure sensation was open to me. I was hooked.

I then turned the vibrator on and started to fuck myself again, this time the vibration made my semi erect dick grow rock hard and it was lightly spasming, like at the end of a real good ejaculation, but I could tell no actually ejaculation was coming yet. I also noticed I was almost oozing pre-cum, a steady, thin line was slowly flowing out of my penis to the towel. Horny as fuck now, I grabbed it with my free hand and shoved it into my mouth, imagining it was a sexy young lady, holding her soft, beautiful manicured hand out for me to lick clean. It didn't really taste like anything, maybe that's because there was so little of it?

The vibrator felt really good, the buzzing of it definitely increased the sensations in me, like it was a whole extra dimension of feelings inside me.

Despite the incredible enjoyment I was getting out of this, I wanted to push myself, see what my limits were..so I could break them. So I slid the vibrator out and turned it off.

Instead of loosening the clamps, I pulled the clamps away from my skin hard, pulling my skin with it until the tension was too much and my nipples snapped back to my body. This hurt a lot, but it felt amazing.

I waited a few minutes, very slowly stroking my dick, giving my nipples and asshole a rest. After all they weren't used to this treatment at all. But I was honry and eager, so Icouldn't wait long, soon I re-clamped my nipples and gave them a tug of pleasure and then reached for the smaller dildo.

It was about 6 inches long and about 1.5 inches at its widest point. It was pretty close to the size of an erect cock, if not a little bigger. This was the first size that was kind of intimidating, since I'd assumed that that was around the size that pushed an asshole past its regular use.

Once again I bent over and lubed it up liberally and then began to work it slowly into my ass. I was thrusting the tip in and slowly moving it a bit deeper each time. It started out very skinny, but gradually got thicker. I started to feel resistance at about ¾'' wide and then I just firmly but still gently pushed it in a bit more, relaxing my ass. It didn't hurt yet, but it feel really intrusive, but also very pleasurable.

With this resistance I slowed down and really took my time, not making any progress for many thrusts. I simply watched the scene in front of me (the guy was eating out the girl from his knees at the moment) as I moved the dildo along with it.

Slowly I worked it into me, fractions of inches at a time, until I was very close to the maximum width. This part didn't seem like it would go in easy. There was, remarkably to me, no pain yet. My ass was fully stretched and relaxed. I could just tell. It had been an hour and I'd went very slowly and the progress had just stopped.

Understanding that I could do more, but it would hurt, I rested briefly and continued. I was so close to getting that last wide part in, I wanted to feel it all the way in me so badly now. Get that stem inn so I could hold it in me, I was sure it would feel awesome.

I started to push harder and still my asshole wouldn't allow anymore in. I tried to relax my ass and push in, but it still wasn't happening. I then changed positions, lying on my side, knees pulled up into my chest, I got to the same spot, but I did notice the feeling was different. I made a note of that in my head.

Thinking I needed a way to increase the pressure, I had what I thought was a great idea. I then stood the dildo on the ground, as its base was flat, tip pointing up and lowered my ass over it in a squat position, the thin tip sliding easily into my greased ass. I slowly used my arms on the floor to lower my weight over the dildo until I got to the same spot as always. I spread my legs out wide to hopefully decrease resistance. I'm sure I looked ridiculous, my limbs spread out wide on the ground holding me up as I balanced my ass on a dildo, all totally nude.

Ridiculous position aside, it wasn't going, but this way did feel a little easier. So I raised up again and tried another time, getting to the position where it stopped sliding. I held myself there, my arms tiring as I held my asshole inches above the ground, I relaxed my asshole as best as I could and applied force by letting my body weight increase the pressure on my ass. I knew I was close.

In an instant, I shifted a bit more weight off my arms and I felt it slid all the way in and with a sucking feeling, my ass was on the floor, the dildo nestled safely inside. My ass now clenched on the tiny stem above the base.

I immediately lifted my ass up and slid it back out, like I was taking a shit. My ass hurt with it in me, but it was a step I had to take.

I again let my body rest for a few minutes, the pain fading, before putting the dildo back on the ground again and lowering myself over it. This time it fit easier, with less pain, still some but much more tolerable. I did this a few times until the pain was drowned out by the pleasure, a mere footnote.

I was very happy with the way things had gone today. My asshole had a numb pain to it, it was mild and that seemed like a result of the new stretching. I had a feelign it would be better the next time, or sometime in the not too distant future. With that, I left the dildo in my ass as I masturbated furiously, watching the man on screen getting reamed with a dildo, one a bit bigger than the one in me now, and for the first time I had an idea of what he was feeling.

When I came, it was the most intense orgasm I'd ever had, the pressure built up in my ass before I orgasmed and my hips like bucked uncontrollable for like 20 seconds after I was done orgasming. I had never had that happen before. I even needed a few seconds to relax. The whole time the dildo pressed on my insides sending pleasure waves through me and in my orgasmmy ass tried to force the dildo out as it contracted, but it stayed in, it hurt but I liked it.

I gave myself a bit more recovery time and then carefully slid the dildo out of my ass, this time I felt only pain as it came out.

After that night I stared to experiment and push myself any time I got the chance with these toys, over the next 3 sessions I'd managed to lower myself completely over the large dildo. I could already take 2 and a half inches in my ass. It was something I thought I'd never be able to handle and it only took me 4 sessions total.

The only problem was that there was nowhere to go from there. I wanted to keep stretching but I had no objects to do so with, so I tried my fist, but it was too big and it was awkward as hell to do. I never even got my knuckles in.

So I stayed with the butt plug, fucking myself furiously with it, the massive thing sliding easily in and out of my loose ass now. I even started to do it in front of a mirror so I could look back and see the gap in my asshole when I was done.

I also started to wear the smaller dildo out of the house if I was going somewhere close by, just to get me turned on, I then added the nipple clamps to my trips. Every time I got home from this trips I basically be working my dick the instant my front door shut.

I even experimented with piss drinking after seeing a short clip of it online. It actually tasted not bad at all. Apparently it tastes bad in the morning or after lots of alcohol or caffeine, or certain other foods, but on a regular diet with lots of water, I didn't mind the taste at all, again pretending some sexy girl was forcing me to got me so turned on that I loved doing it. Again it grossed me out to think about after orgasming, but during I loved it.

...So here I am today, my sexual experimentation stalled because I never found a women that was willing to engage in such crazy sexual play. I'd dropped hints with the last few girls I was with but they either weren't into it or kept that part of their lives to themselves.

I frequently fantasized about being the full time slave of the dominate girls on the sites where I watched movies. Living at their houses as their slave, obeying their every whim, it sounded amazing.

I'd masturbate in bed to the thought of them having me wash them in the shower and then sitting on my face as they forced me to eat their pussies or getting on my knees and eating out one of their assholes, followed by them fucking me with huge dildos or of them whipping and hitting various parts of my body for being a bad slave. I also really, really loved the idea of them having company over and making me, naked or in some S&M wear, serve my own Mistress and the guests while my Mistress would think of all kinds of ways to embarrass and humiliate me in front of them. The thought of devoting my whole life to the pleasure of one of these girls turned me on so much. Them using me for their every need really struck a chord with me.

I noticed how overwhelming this feeling was until fantasy started to interfere with reality. I'd fuck a girl I'd meet at a bar and not be able to come, then go home to my own house and shove a dildo up my ass and jerk off, fantasizing I was in a movie, perhaps enjoying that experience more than the the one I'd just had with the actual girl. I even looked forward to it as I was engaged in foreplay with some very sexy, but very plain girls.

Back to right now, so here I was, sitting and looking at this application for a porn star. It seemed rather obvious that they were really looking for attractive girls more than anything, as I'm sure that's the demand. So I decided to start the application, figuring nothing would ever come of it, and if it did, I wasn't under any obligation now anyways. I hated not pursuing something I wanted. It feels better to try.

Before I got to the application they had some legal type documents, I scanned through them, but they were obvious stuff mostly. The stars have to give consent to what's happening, they can stop at any time, no STDs, etc. It all seemed to make me more eager to do it because it seemed so controlled and safe.

I then got to the personal application page. First was the basic info stuff, which I filled out truthfully. I then had to pick a stage name. I'd played this game many times, what would my porn star name be? But now I was drawing a blank on all the answers, so I went with John Reardon. It wasn't awesome but I didn't feel like sitting around thinking of something better.

I then had to give my measurements and basic physical description, which I did to the best of my ability. I then talked about piercings and tattoos, which I had none and finally explained that I had no experience in porn, but some in BDSM in my private life, which was an exaggeration to say the least. I also explained that I was looking to be a male sub for their site.