Buying Heaven
A Futa-Town Tale
Saturday morning.
"I still don't understand why he needs to come here," snapped Mary White from the front passenger seat of the family's minivan, pulling into the carpark of the
'Heavenly Connections'
super-store.
"Mary, please," replied her husband Tom with a weary tone, scanning for any free spots from behind the steering wheel. "We've waited three months for this appointment. David's already paid his deposit, and we've accepted that it's what he wants."
"I don't recall accepting anything," sniffed Mary.
Sitting quietly in the back seat behind his mother, David surveyed the three-story, mirror-glass-fronted building they'd just arrived at, trying his hardest not to engage.
"But the
Match Makers
will only be a fraction of this price. Think of the money he's wasting!" continued Mary, clearly unwilling to acquiesce.
Sitting in the other rear seat, Emily reached across and took hold of her older brother's hand, squeezing it gently. "We're here for several reasons, mother," she interjected. "First and foremost, David knows exactly what it is he wants, and whether you agree or not, he'll find it here. And secondly, Nanna White was equally specific in her will, so money isn't an issue."
Mary's already stormy expression darkened further at the mere mention of her late mother-in-law. "I rue the day those snooty witches offered you that damned apprenticeship," she said, turning in her seat to shoot her daughter a withering look. "You were insufferable enough as it was."
Seemingly unaffected by the remarkably personal attack, Emily smiled back at her mother brightly.
Glancing at his sister, dressed in her grey satin apprentice-witch's robes, topped by a small fascinator-like broad-brimmed conical hat, David's mood buoyed. He may well be the big brother, but the extremely intelligent and equally attractive nineteen-year-old was unquestionably the
force majeure
of the two. As their mother resumed facing forward, he squeezed her hand in return. "Thank you," he mouthed silently.
Emily winked mischievously as she leaned over. "It beats spending a Saturday studying at
'The Academy'
in my dorm."
"Here we go," said Tom with a note of relief, spying a good parking spot and pre-positioning the minivan to reverse in.
Unable to help herself, Mary continued grumbling. "It doesn't make any sense. He's only twenty-two years old for the Gods' sake. A college graduate, gainfully employed... and not altogether unattractive. Why can't he find a
normal wife
the
normal ways
?"
"I don't know, mom," said David, finally feeling forced to defend himself, "maybe it's the example you've set my whole life."
"Ha-ha!" laughed Emily with genuine delight.
"That's not helping, David," said his father, while bringing the minivan to a stop. He applied the park-brake and killed the engine before patting his wife's hand. "He's just nervous, is all."
"
Ungrateful
, more like it," said Mary.
David exhaled deliberately, refusing to allow the occasion to be spoiled before it even began. An excited chittering in his ear made him look sideways. Staring back at him from the seatback beside his shoulder was
Wren
, Emily's loyal pet fairy. The glowing pixie hopped on the spot, fluttering her translucent wings and offering what he assumed was encouragement. He smiled back at her reflexively, "Thanks, you."
"Make sure you leave that
dusty pest
in the car," said Mary, unbuckling her seatbelt.
"No way," responded Emily, already halfway out her door. "C'mon Wren! Make sure you stay close, or that horrible old crone might eat you up."
Wren squealed as she took flight, speeding after her mistress, zigging and zagging, leaving a trail of sparkling dust in her wake.
Taking another deep breath, David released his seatbelt and followed the others out.
Crossing the car park, he noticed a similar family group making their own way towards the super-store's entrance. Clearly more cohesive than the White family, a girl was pointing excitedly at Emily, having recognized her prestigious - albeit racy - garb, as well as being delighted by the sight of Wren flying in dizzying circles overhead.
Nudging her brother with her elbow, Emily nodded up towards the towering third floor. "You're almost there, bro," she said quietly. "How exciting!"
As they approached the glass entry-doors the White family found themselves inspected by two strikingly attractive, Futanari security guards, standing sentry-like on either side, eyes hidden behind mirrored aviator sunglasses. Neatly pressed guard-uniforms strained to contain their powerful female physiques and ample breasts while their impressive crotch-bulges were clearly outlined by the taught fabric of their pants. Glancing up, David smiled at the bright yellow and orange banner hanging overhead, boldly proclaiming,
'20% OFF SPRING SALE!'
.
Passing through, the White family emerged into a tastefully decorated storefront, similar in appearance to an expensive hotel's lobby.
"Good morning, and welcome to Heavenly Connections!" said a friendly voice from behind the front desk.
Mary wasted no time responding to the neatly uniformed retail assistant, who smiled politely at the new arrivals. "We're the White family," she declared. "I'm Mary, and this is Tom. Our son David has an eleven am appointment," she said, conspicuously failing to introduce Emily.
"Of course," said the assistant, simultaneously confirming the information on her computer screen. "It's a pleasure to meet you all," she added, before noticing Emily standing at the back. "And an honor to have a witch visit us as well," she added.
"
Apprentice
-witch," corrected Mary quickly.
Ignoring her mother, Emily nodded politely, just as Wren landed lightly on her shoulder.
As the second family group from the car park arrived in turn, Mary felt obliged to hurry things up. "David's looking to purchase a
wife
," she stated bluntly.
Rolling his eyes, David held up a hand. "That's not exactly accurate," he said, noticing his mother's stance stiffen in response.
The assistant continued to smile engagingly. "Ooh, how exciting!" she offered. "Well, you've certainly come to the right place. Heavenly Connections is
'The Kingdom's'
premier provider of indentured paramours," she recited.
"How exactly does this work?" asked Mary, unwilling to take a back seat.
Clearly familiar with overbearing parents, the assistant gestured to one of several saleswomen waiting a respectful distance away, who'd been discreetly listening in to the initial exchange. "This is Rebecca," she said as a pretty woman joined them. "Rebecca, meet David, Emily, and Mr. and Mrs. White."
"It's a pleasure to meet you all," said Rebecca, looking extremely relaxed and professional.
Mary responded first again. "Just Mary and Tom, is fine."
"Mary and Tom, of course," acknowledged Rebecca. "And its David who's in the market today, if I'm not mistaken?"
"Yes," answered David.
"Do you know what you're looking for, David?"
Having hoped he would not be asked the question so directly in front of his parents, David's discomfort became quickly apparent.
"A girl?" prompted Rebecca respectfully. "A boy?" And when he still didn't respond, "perhaps something more
exotic
?"
As soon as she'd said the words, mini cloudbursts exploded around Mary and Tom's heads, obscuring the pair from their shoulders up within swirling clouds of sparkling pink smoke. Teetering only slightly, the pair slumped forward into statue-like stupors.
Emerging from behind her parents, Emily smiled innocently while tucking her wand back up into her sleeve. Seeing Rebecca's stunned expression, she explained casually. "Don't worry about them, it's just a little
bewilderment jinx
," she said, leaning in towards the saleswoman conspiratorially. "The fact is," she continued, "David knows exactly what he wants, and it's more than likely up on the third floor." She paused to jerk a thumb back at her mother. "But if she doesn't feel that he's at least considered more
conventional
options first, she's going to be a right royal pain in the ass."
Rebecca understood implicitly. "Of course," she replied, smiling in collusion, "
Mum's
the word."
"Excuse me!" said Mary, the pink smoke starting to dissipate from around her head. She blinked rapidly, as if trying to refocus her eyes, clearly unsure what had just transpired, "what are you whispering about, Emily?"
Emily turned back to face her mother, knowing that neither parent had any clue what she'd just done to them. "I was just complimenting Rebecca here, on how nice her ass looks in this skirt," she offered.
Mary rolled her eyes in exasperation. "For the God's sake, Emily, can you please not embarrass us any more than you have to, just this once?"
"Of course, mother," said Emily, casually stepping away from the saleswoman.
Blushing only slightly, Rebecca indicated toward the nearby display floor. "Please, if you'd all like to follow me."
Beyond the storefront, Heavenly Connections' first-floor showroom was a brightly lit, wide open expanse, interrupted only by the thick concrete pillars that supported the upper floors and the crisscrossing escalator bank that accessed them in its center. A clearly defined path left the space between it and the high exterior glass-walls open, so as to display the super-store's magnificent wares.
Passing the first of many potted ferns dotted along the path, Rebecca began her oration. "The first floor is our
'Unrestricted Collection'
, where anyone with an appointment can browse. For first time shoppers, it can be easiest to think of it like buying a new car. I can either take you straight to a specific
make and model
if you know what you want, or we can browse through the yard systematically." She looked at David directly. "Do you have a preference?"