Bound to Heal

Note: Listen to the songs on YouTube to enhance you reading experience.

*****

Doogan inserted a cd to help keep Julie's mind off the drive to the park.

She was enthralled with Doogan's home-made music CDs - popular music arranged in an erotic list, left no doubt what the mood was meant to be.

"This first song will be Neil Diamond singing Longfellow Serenade. It's a 1960s song," said Doogan.

Longfellow Serenade

Such were the plans I'd made

For she was a lady

And I was a dreamer

With only words to trade

You know that I was born

For a night like this

Warmed by a stolen kiss

For I was lonely

And she was lonely

Ride, come on baby, ride

Let me make your dreams come true...

Ohmy, thought Julie, listening to the very erotically suggestive lyrics. Her mother had told her the 50s were very strict, that even Elvis had trouble with authorities about his gyrations on stage. But these lyrics, wow. The 60's were certainly different. Doogan's collection of songs showed another dimension to his erotic personality. Now she wanted to hear more of his music collection. It must have taken him hours to compile these erotically suggestive songs. She turned her head, looking at him, feeling the growing warm urge in her core.

The road noise was pushed into the background as a third erotic song ended.

"Ohhmy," said Julie, affected by the songs.

"Do you like what you heard and felt Julie?" he whispered, briefly looking into her smoldering eyes, then back at the road.

"Yes," Julie said softly, feeling the excitement and the urge.

Good. The songs worked, keeping her mind off the short drive to the village park.

Doogan turned into the park and stopped near the picnic tables just as the song ended. He turned off the car.

"Would you like to sit in the car or at a picnic table," asked Doogan.

"In the car is fine," said Julie.

"Ok. Where do I begin," he said, thinking out loud. He wondered just how much he should tell Julie about his relationship with Stacy. She would find out later anyway - if she spoke with Stacy. But he thought he should talk about some other stuff first.

Julie looked at him, waiting.

"Ok... I think I need to explain four things. BDSM. Trust. Dominance and submission. And the touch game, which I explained the other night. I actually created the touch game, not knowing how close it was to some of the milder forms of erotic 'kink' or BDSM. So you've actually briefly experienced what some would call very mild BDSM already. Loving Bondage, with your eyes closed," said Doogan.

Ohmy. This was interesting. And if the touch game was a milder form, what must the more erotic forms be like. No wonder Doogan wanted me to enjoy it. "So, is the touch game more sensual and erotic when doing BDSM?" asked Julie.

"Yes Julie. BDSM loving bondage is the touch game plus a blindfold to help the surprises work better and restraints such as cuffs and/or ropes. There is no way for you to peek by opening your eyes and knowing what surprises are coming next. And the restraints keep the person under the blindfold in a position to receive pleasure and surprises. Sometimes partners talk during this, in order to keep the trust strong. At other times, the guy won't say anything and wait, building the anticipation and excitement for her. If music is playing in the background, she usually won't hear what he is preparing next. Sometimes he may fool her by saying or doing something a little deceptive. You know the feather touches feel like licking or tickling. Well, little things like that. Pleasurable deception. There are all kinds of ways to give pleasure and create excitement for the person under the blindfold. You liked that didn't you, the surprises with your eyes closed?"

"Yes. But with a blindfold on and being tied up, it would be scary," said Julie.

"No Julie. The idea is not to scare the person, it's to provide fun, excitement and pleasure. Remember how nervous you were with your eyes closed, when I first started the shoulder massage. Then you liked the touch game. It's the same thing, only with the help of some toys and equipment to make it even better, more exciting, more pleasurable, and maybe a little nervousness. Nervousness and anticipation helps enhance all the other feelings, but you should never be scared or frightened."

"Ok. I understand now. And you do this to girls?" Julie asked, feeling jealous again.

"No Julie. Not a bunch of girls. Just one. I only started this just after your accident. I'm still getting started with this stuff. Stacy, has been doing this for more than six months and offered to help me. I told her I was a paramedic, and I guess she figured I wouldn't hurt her, so she offered to teach me what she knows, as a mentor, an instructor. I've restrained her a couple times, with and without a blindfold, using a triangular bandage and cuffs."

"So she's teaching you how to give pleasure?" asked Julie feeling more jealous.

"Yes, through mild forms of BDSM. And at the same time, I'm trying to help her get over her fears by using the touch game and some mild BDSM," said Doogan, feeling Julie wasn't liking this discussion.

She now had very mixed feelings about Stacy. "Doogan, maybe she should not have been abused, but maybe it was her own fault."

"No Julie. She gave her trust to someone who tied her up, then brutally beat her. Once she was tied up, she had no choice, she was helpless," said Doogan, You remember the other night, I asked you to trust me, with your eyes closed. And you did. Yet, you were surprised at the things I did and the places I touched you. I'll bet you thought I was going to be naughty and touch your breasts, just like the little story."

Ohmy. She starred at him. Wow. He was right. The other night she was nervous and excited and she didn't really trust him. She wanted him to be a gentleman. Yet, given the story, she had expected him to touch her breasts. And part of her wanted him to touch her breasts, to caress her and give her pleasure. Yet, he hadn't been naughty. He'd been a gentleman. "Ok, so if I'd been tied up and blindfolded the other night, would you have done the same things or would you have been naughty like in the story?"

"I would have done the same thing, touch your ankle. Julie, we had only just met and had only one short touching game session. Hopefully, I've been a gentleman. Maybe later, I might be a little naughty and feather touch across your breasts or very low across your stomach, or right up close along your thighs," said Doogan. "Blatant groping is not what I created the touching game for. It was for sensual foreplay, mostly to get my first girlfriend used to me touching her sensually. The anticipation, little deceptions and the sensation of being so close to being naughty is what makes it feel so exciting and naughty, when it really isn't."

"Thank you for being honest with me Doogan. I can see where it would lead to naughtier touching, given a person's feelings and emotions," said Julie. "So, you said you've tied Stacy up, so she must trust you."

"Yes. I think so. I've restrained her up a couple times and she now seems to trust me a little. I think I've helped her a little bit to trust a guy again. But she'll always never truly trust another guy and that's a real shame."

Julie wondered what other BDSM stuff Doogan was into. Was the touching game and loving bondage just the tip of the iceberg? Was Doogan still hiding another side to his personality, a far more evil side? She felt like she should run from him, as fast as she could. Sure, with the crutches and cast. No, he couldn't be 'that bad'. He said he was only into the 'loving bondage' and pleasurable things, not any painful stuff. And he had offered to let her read a reference book so she could learn more. It would certainly prove or disprove what he was staying.

Doogan was looking at her.

"Ok. Please explain some of the more extreme BDSM stuff that you say you won't do," Julie asked.

"I don't know if I should tell you some of those things. It may frighten you, and I don't want that," said Doogan. "However, I will show you some restrains and how they are used."

"Oh yes. I'd like to see them," said Julie. "Are you going to tie me up?" she asked a little nervous.

"I'd like to, so you can really experience it, but I know you don't want me to, so I won't. But I can put the cuffs on, just so you see what they are like. I'll show you," he said, reaching into the back seat and pulling his overnight bag closer. He pulled out the blindfold and the cuffs. He wrapped a leather cuff around his wrist. "Julie, please buckle it up for me."

Wow! He had these with him all along. Even in her bedroom. Julie sat there watching him and then buckled it on his wrist. This was exciting.

He lifted the other cuff from his lap and held it up, showing the clip and the ring. "It attaches to one on the other cuff. Then you are cuffed, restrained. The hands are either like this at the front," as he held his wrists together, "or behind your back. These can also be attached to ropes to hold you when you are lying on a bed."

Julie was amazed he would so quickly put them on himself. "Can I put the other one on you and clip them together?" she asked.

"Sure."

She took the second cuff, wrapped it around his wrist, buckled it and then clipped the two cuffs together. She felt excited at being able to put the cuffs on Doogan.

"Ok, put the blindfold on me too," said Doogan, hoping this would help her understand.

She did and felt more excited, seeing Doogan 'in bondage'.

"Now I'm set for some loving bondage," Doogan said, "Ok, feather touch me, surprise me," said Doogan.

"Oh," said Julie in surprise. Wow, he trusts me right away. "Are you sure you trust me Doogan?" She felt excited with butterflies in her stomach.

"Julie, it's too late to ask me now. I'm already cuffed and blindfolded. That's what happened to Stacy. But yes, I trust you," he said.

"Ohh...," she realized, looking at him, wondering what to do. She lifted her hand and carefully feather touched his cheek with one finger.

He startled slightly, feeling the touch tickle his cheek, sending a shiver through him. He smiled, but said nothing. He hoped Julie would enjoy this enough to let him try it on her for just a few minutes, so she would truly know how it feels. No. He shouldn't. He had to wait until they talked more.

In her excitement, she almost giggled at the sight of him shiver from her touch. No wonder he liked doing this. It was amazing. She suddenly grabbed his upper arm and shook him a little.

His head wobbled and then he smiled. "Good one Julie, I wasn't expecting you to do that."

"Really?" she said, pleased she had surprised him. "Ok, I get it. This is fun." she said.

"Ok, release me please and we can talk some more," said Doogan.

"No, I kinda like you like this. All tied up, helpless and blindfolded." She grabbed his arm again and shook him. "How's that feel." she asked.

"Julie. Be careful. You can easily hurt someone by shaking them too hard. I'm ok. Do you feel more comfortable with me restrained while we talk," Doogan asked.

"Sort of," she said, smiling with excitement.

"Just be very quick taking these off if a police car drives by," he said. "They don't take too kindly to people being restrained, except by them."

"Oh," she said, realizing the implications, looking at the parking lot and the road. She took the blindfold off and unclipped the cuffs. "Sorry, I didn't realize..."

"That's ok. Please unbuckle the cuffs. So now you see, there are all kinds of things to think about ahead of time, and during the game, to keep us safe," he said. "At first, I had planned something here at the park. Then I decided not to until we talked more about all this."

He paused as he put the cuffs and blindfold back in his overnight bag.

"Ok. Given what you experienced the other evening with the touch game, I'm sure you understand there is all kinds of sensual foreplay. And there is more erotic foreplay too. Separately, they can be wonderfully pleasurable. Combined, watch out. They are powerful persuaders. Folks will do anything and say anything to keep the pleasure coming." He thought of the other spelling of 'cuming' and smiled.

Julie had no idea, but she could imagine. "Like a drug."

"Exactly. Julie I'm not making excuses, but I've starved myself of companionship for a couple years. Why? Two reasons. One. To forget my first girlfriend. It's been very difficult to forget her. Two. To get my career going and to take a college business night school program for a couple years while working. It was a heavy load with shiftwork and homework, and I didn't have much spare time. Now that I'm finished night school, I've started reading about BDSM and thinking about a relationship."

He stopped talking and looked at her, looking at him, giving her a chance to say something. She didn't. She must be thinking about the things he talked about.

"Recently, I took care of you at the accident, I bumped into Stacy, and then I bumped into you again. And boom. I've made problems for the three of us. Why? Because I lost control, I was in a hurry, I was love-starved, and I was seduced by these powerful persuading forces. I'm sorry Julie. I don't want to hurt you, or Stacy. I want to help both of you. You are both hurt. And, I want to solve this problem without more pain for anyone. Not you. Not Stacy. And not me. However, you are the only one without BDSM knowledge, so that's why I wanted to spend the afternoon with you and explain, maybe even show you. But I don't want to show you now. I don't want you to experience any more excitement and pleasure from me until we sort this out."

She sat looking at Doogan, thinking. Ohmy. Now she understood. Well, some of it. "Doogan, I'm sorry you made this mistake, even if it was for good reasons. I understand. The excitement, just now, of putting you in the cuffs and the blindfold was wonderful. Seeing you in them was amazing and knowing you couldn't get out or know what I was going to do. And the touching game the other night was wonderful too." A thrill raced through her, stirring her butterflies.

"See how quickly and powerfully it can seduce you," said Doogan. "That's what happens to many people. To Stacy, to me, and now I've done it to you a little bit. I'm sorry," he said, wanting to reach out and touch her gently, to show her how he cared, to reassure her. But he knew touching her right now was the wrong thing to do.

"Doogan. You're right. But, I'm not sure about anything at the moment," Julie said uncomfortably, her mind full of conflicting thoughts. "What kinds of things do you do in this 'loving bondage' that you don't do with the touching game?" Julie asked.

"Julie, there are at least a couple hundred fun, sensual, erotic, teasing, pleasurable things I could do. I could tell you but the best way to understand is to show you, but not right now," said Doogan.

Julie looked at him.

"Julie, please let me explain something. When I first met Stacy we met a number of times and just talked about BDSM, like we are now, quite a few hours actually. Then she surprised me by wanting me to take her to the park and we sat on a picnic bench and I did some of the touch game and some of the loving bondage to her, to show her what I was capable of doing, which wasn't very much at the time. Given her fear and her beating, I was very surprised she wanted to do this with me after only a couple of meetings. I guess she trusted me a little. Anyway, you and I have spent less time together, and certainly not talking about BDSM."

"Ok Doogan, I get it. And while I'm a little jealous and hurt, and afraid of the unknown, I know you won't hurt me. I understand you wanting to help both Stacy and me. So, I'd like to try some of this loving bondage. You said you tied Stacy up at a picnic tables. Ohmy. Is that why you brought me here, to do similar things?'"

"Yes Julie, but I've changed my mind. We need to talk first," said Doogan.

"Doogan, I understand. But if I'm to talk with Stacy about this stuff, I need to know what it feels like. I want you to show me, at the picnic table, please. Talking is fine, but I need to experience it."

Doogan looked at Julie. No. He couldn't. He shouldn't. "Julie I really shouldn't," he said clearly uncertain. "I have to explain more to you."

"More?"

"Yes Julie. Most things done between two people are done from a perspective of trust. We have to trust each other. I think you have enough trust in me to know I won't hurt you in any way. But for me to give you wonderful pleasure, you have to trust me a little more. Far more actually. Because pleasure involves a level of trust and intimacy many couples are not comfortable with. If you can't fully trust me, then you will not truly enjoy the pleasures I'm trying to give you.

"Doogan. I enjoyed what we did the other night and in the bedroom a while ago," she said, "and I would like to enjoy more. I trust you more now, than the other night, because you are explaining things to me. But you make it sound so..."

"Erotic and naughty," said Doogan.

"Yes. And complicated," Julie said, continuing to look at him.

"Julie, in some ways this is complicated. I once read or heard that if the sex you are having isn't porn, you really aren't having good sex. I don't know about that, but, I do know that regular sex is not as fun, thrilling, exciting and pleasurable as sex that is a little naughty. It takes time to lean this stuff in order to give pleasure. And you have to keep everyone safe."

"Oh," she said, thinking about the cuffs and the police just a few minutes ago.

"For me, BDSM loving bondage is learning numerous things in order to give wonderful pleasure in many different ways. It also means I must learn to be a dominant, and I'm not learning that too well. In fact, I'm failing at it. I can't be firm, stern or threatening. I don't want to be frightening and evil. I don't want to make girls afraid of guys. And I certainly don't want to inflict pain.

Julie smiled, "Doogan, that's a good thing. And you seem to be in control right now."

Doogan looked at Julie. "I'm not doing anything. We're just talking."

"I'm sitting here listening to you, trying to understand and learn, and you are doing the talking, the explaining. You are in control. Doogan, you don't have to be stern or threatening to be in control. You are leading me, teaching me. Doogan, I don't feel threatened, but I am nervous about all this," Julie said, smiling.

Doogan looked at Julie. Stunned. Maybe his thinking was wrong. Maybe he had the wrong concept of a dominant. "Thank you Julie. That is something I'm going to think about. Maybe he wasn't failing. Ok. Where was I?

"Ok. Trust. At the same time, girls like you and Stacy, who want to enjoy loving bondage, need to learn to trust, completely, and let the dominant be in control. And both of you need a knowledgeable girlfriend to talk to, confide in, and help each other. Stacy's from the city and you're from the country. Talk to each other. Exchange information about your differences and similarities, and be friends. Stacy can share all kinds of girl stuff about erotic pleasure. More than I ever could, because I'm not a girl. If you liked the touch game, Stacy can give you all the inside information. And I'm sure there is plenty she hasn't told me yet. And you can help Stacy learn about self-reliance, cooking and other things, maybe even operating the tractor. Who knows what you two may learn from each other."

Doogan thought for a second. "Julie, on my days off, I want to be with someone. I want to give pleasure," he said, looking into her eyes. "Seeing and hearing you and Stacy squirming, moaning, and enjoying pleasure is what makes me really happy. It satisfies me, deep inside. It makes me feel good."