'Carrie, wear your hair down tomorrow' said the slip of paper.
She read it again - it was beautifully written on a cigarette paper, and slipped into the first few pages of a copy of Roget's Thesaurus.
She was reclassifying all of the books based on a new national digital system - that meant that today she was changing the referencing system for the reference books section, which was the sort of job that only a librarian could take any pleasure in.
This was without doubt written for her, since it named her, and she couldn't help but look around furtively, as though whoever put it there might only just have done it. Why was she looking surreptitiously, and why had she already stashed it hurriedly but carefully in a pocket, she wondered. She certainly hadn't done anything wrong here. It was just a note about her hair, and a completely unsolicited one.
Carrie peered around the library wondering who it could have been, that had taken an interest in her mousey hair and how she wore it. And had chosen this curious method of communicating with her - the note itself was a bold and arrogant instruction, rather than a request. She pondered whether she shouldn't just have scrumpled it and thrown it on the floor. Or simply left it in the book, as though irrelevant to her (as though every other book in the place has a personal message in it for her). That made her wonder if perhaps they did - How many notes had she missed before this one? Were they all about her hair..? She felt a little flushed, and felt there were eyes on her, noticing.
All that day she fidgeted with the slip of paper in her pocket, and took it out to re-read on the toilet. To another woman it might have felt childish; reminiscent of school perhaps, this secret note. But her school experience hadn't featured notes from boys - what if it was from a girl?! - or any kind of sexual attention much either.
She wondered whether she would do as it said. Who would be checking if she complied or not? He'd have to, surely: Why write the note if you don't check? (she continued to think 'he' but the doubt remained). Would he feel glad if she complied? And then what? And what if she disobeyed it? (A curious term, she noticed.) Maybe there would be no more notes.
Why did she want more notes, and what did she want them to say, she wondered. Shouldn't she rather he introduce himself, and proceed in the normal way. No, that terrified her, and she realised that a note was special and private but from a distance. It was intrusive, in a way, but also optional. Or was it? A note was perfect. She would do what the stranger wanted, whatever his objective, and see where it led. What harm was there in letting her hair down once in while - literally?
This was the dialogue that played behind her stare at the bus window as it trundled her back towards her flat, and she traced the raindrops that spotted on it, then joined and ran away as a little stream. She still touched the slip in her pocket as the door to her flat clunked closed behind her, and when she stepped out of her clothes in the steam of the bathroom, she was bemused to find her knickers a wet mess. "Wow Carrie, you're extremely susceptible to strange requests about your hair, apparently," she chastised herself, letting her fingertips explore her lips.
In the shower, as the hot water drummed down on her all over, she came violently in shudders, biting her lip and calling herself names in her head. She had an immaculate vocabulary, and it only ever coarsened when she was about to come. That was her biggest secret, and fiercely guarded. She had invented a voice for the stranger, and it was his that she heard, giving her lewd instructions, while she quaked around her hand, the waves subsiding.
* * * *
She checked herself in the mirror for the twentieth time. Hair down was all it had said, and it wasn't like she didn't sometimes do that anyway (he must have seen her then, after all). It didn't say, obsess about every other item of clothing down to what knickers you wear. It definitely didn't say, put elaborate make-up on and then spend fifteen minutes removing all trace of it, deciding it was absurd. Or, forget to eat breakfast and then run around with a hasty piece of toast, hunting keys in a panic. The flat door clunked behind her, and by running she just made the bus. She struggled to catch her breath, sat next to an old man reading a tabloid, and resumed her watching of the ever-present raindrops.
Time seemed to be passing incredibly slowly, as Carrie was acutely aware of everyone she interacted with, and of her hair - she tucked it behind her ears for the twentieth time that morning. Had he seen yet, she wondered. She had done as he asked, what did that mean? Would there be more requests? (Commands?) He must fancy her, to care about how she looked in that way, and know her name. Perhaps he would be pleased she had followed the instruction. Perhaps it would get him hard. Carrie dwelt on that thought, and pictured the stranger pumping his cock madly with his hand, and firing thick ropes of cum over the pages of the book she was holding, onto her slender fingers and wrist. She pressed her thighs together, noticing how wet she was again, and put the book on the pile of others beside her.
The day was infuriatingly uneventful. Everything was slightly altered, the library looked different. She knew that nothing at all had changed, except her own demeanour - glancing at every sound and hunting for clues like a horny sleuth.
She looked searchingly at every person she interacted with, wondering if he would engage with her, now she had showed herself willing to follow commands, or just watch her from afar. And she couldn't actually decide which she would prefer.
It was approaching time to go home, and nothing out of the ordinary had happened at all. She had all but written the day off, when she noticed that, slipped under the plastic box she kept her lunch in, which sat in the same place on the main desk at all times, was a new folded cigarette paper. Her heart began to race as she glanced around - either to see who might have put it there or to check if anyone else would see her reading her secret new instruction. Maybe it was just a thank you. She unfolded it in what she told herself was a nonchalant manner:
'Carrie, write the letters TBA on the back of your hand in black ink. Now.'
It was the same calligraphic writing, and the same imperious tone. Who was dreaming up these weird requests for her? The little joke involved in this one wasn't lost on her, and she registered that it was also a sort of test - it would be a tattooed declaration that she was open to this game; to being advised. She picked up the pen that was so conveniently nearby. Without dwelling on it too much that she was signing on the dotted line without having read the small print (or any print!) Carrie neatly initialled the back of her left hand as instructed. No-one was around.
As she rode the bus home she thought about the fact that anyone who glanced at the writing on her hand would assume it was just a reminder to herself, which in a way it was. It was to remind her that she was now following the instructions of a mysterious stranger. Throughout the evening she kept looking at it, distracted by it as she prepared some dinner, and again while she tried to read her book. She realised she felt a bit impatient about the note tasks - would they all be so small? And then she wondered what sort of task she was actually hoping for.
In bed, the hand with the letters on wandered between her legs and gently slid inside her knickers as she thought about being commanded to do it, and commanded to stop. And punished..
She denied herself and dozed off, frustrated and sticky.
As she got ready in the morning, she was conscious to try and avoid washing off the letters. She was careful when washing the plate she used for breakfast, and her shower was a particular challenge. She had to wash herself mainly with one hand. The note hadn't specified all this of course, and she wondered if she was just making it harder for herself. It only said write it there, nothing about keeping it there. But surely he would need to see it there today, she reasoned, and carried on trying to preserve it. Even at work she tried not to wash it off - careful to keep the back of her left hand dry when she washed her hands after peeing. It wasn't the hand she used to wipe her pussy with anyway (unreasonably wet again, she noticed).
Nevertheless, the effects combined to make her feel a little unclean as the day wore on, but there were no signs that her compliance so far had been appreciated. Whatever he was getting from this, there was no sign of him yet.
At lunch time, Carrie opened her sandwich box, the letters still visible but faded on her hand.
It was a public declaration about herself, he'd asked her to write, and she had done it. Ok, it was coded slightly. What might he have asked to daub on herself, what label might be have given her for all to see? Would she have done it? Would she have sat on the bus with 'wet' written there? It would have been accurate, and even more so now that she thought about that. How about 'slave'? She was blushing as she wondered why these tasks affected her like this, and why she seemed to want them to intensify darkly. She was a nice normal girl, she told herself - No, a horny and depraved slut in need of discipline, came her own retort.
Carrie glanced down at her lunchbox and saw a small envelope. Her heart skipped a beat. Perfect timing, she thought, as she opened it furtively. Another written note and a short length of parcel string:
'Tie this piece of string around your ankle. Keep it there for 24 hours.'
Carrie looked around. The note didn't say it had to be immediately in the break room, but something compelled her to get that little piece of string tied around her ankle straight away. He wanted to tie her? Or this was tagging her again - a symbol? She tied it slightly tighter than was going to be comfortable (again embellishing the task and turning it punitive, she noticed).
With the rough but totally ordinary bit of string in place against her skin, Carrie ate her sandwich, tucking the note away in her pocket.