Bob & Risti

(To Old Friends, Remembered Fondly)

Bob & Kristi

I'll try to explain to you my friend's relationship.

In every aspect of their lives other than sex, they were just like everyone else.

This guy, Bob, did not attempt to control where she went or what she did or anything like that.

But when my friend, Kristi, decided to submit to him, she gave him total control over everything she did sexually.

In their particular situation, that meant she couldn't even masturbate without his permission, but I understand that this was just a thing specific to Bob, and that not all Masters require this.

Anyway, when they were together sexually, Kristi did not make a move unless Bob instructed her to do so, and she followed each and every one of his instructions to the letter.

To back up a bit, when she decided to submit, they laid out very explicit limitations of things she would not do, and he always respected these limits. Anything else, however, Kristi had to do.

Their game was exhibitionism, and Bob had Kristi expose herself in a lot of different ways.

Kristi, of course, loved it!

She said that he had her do things that she never would have done on her own, but when absolved of the responsibility, she was able to do them, and they excited her tremendously.

The other thing that Bob was big on was teasing and delayed gratification. (This is actually how Kristi and I began to discuss this. We were talking about the joys of coming close to orgasm, stopping, getting close again, stopping again, which is a favorite of mine as you know, and she told me that Bob taught her how amazing the orgasm you ultimately achieved could be.)

Kristi was not allowed to climax unless Bob gave her permission.

When she felt herself getting close, she was required to ask him to stop doing whatever it was he was doing to her.

He'd ease up on her for a couple of minutes, then resume.

They'd repeat this until Bob was good and ready to allow her to cum.

This was also the method that he used to punish her if she disobeyed him. She would not be allowed to cum for long periods of time if she didn't do as he said.

Anyway, I'm sure none of that is a surprise to you, but it illustrates a point that was very surprising to me.

Kristi would cum, even with these restrictions in place, an average of 10 times during one of their marathon D/s sessions.

Bob would cum once.

That short enough for those with short attention spans?

Kristi did spend some time giving him head, and he did of course spend a good amount of time actually inside her, but the focus was mainly on her and her orgasms.

Before I heard such an up close and personal account of this, I always pictured in my mind a Dom having his sub pleasure him and serve him, in a very demanding, self-involved sort of way.

I'm sure there are Doms out there like this, but it's certainly not always the case, apparently!

Kristi said she'd never been as fulfilled sexually before, and hasn't been since, and not because of the mental aspects...because of the actual quantity and quality of the sexual acts themselves.

Now Bob got a lot of pleasure from seeing and hearing Kristi have orgasms, and his attitude was that she didn't have them for her own pleasure, but for his.

Of course, that didn't negate the good feelings they gave Kristi!

But the whole environment *was* one of her existing to serve him sexually. She just happened to do that, for the most part, by enjoying his supposedly highly skilled ministrations.

Now you said that someone who would allow herself to be controlled by a man must have very low self-esteem. Let me tell you that Kristi is a very self-confident, secure, strong woman. I've known her for 12 years and we are very close. She's very open with me and I know that I would have seen it by now if her confidence was an act. The way she explained the appeal of it to me was that she had an extreme amount of control in so many areas of her life. She runs her home, is in a supervisory capacity in her job, is a mother of two children, is a leader in other ways as well. She said it was so enticing and exciting to relinquish control in that one area, precisely because it was so foreign to her.

She enjoyed not having to make any sexual decisions, to take any responsibility for that part of their relationship, to be a follower for a change.

I can see the allure of that myself.