Hello, there. My name is Jennifer Adolf. Just your average, everyday, six-foot-tall, lean and fit, blonde-haired and green-eyed Teutonic goddess. I'm a professional athlete living in the city of Boston. My parents really got pissed when I walked away from a scholarship to Northeastern University to become a professional boxer. I'd rather be a boxer than play on an NCAA Division One women's varsity ice hockey team filled with rich bitches. Hey, nothing they can do about my choices because, hey, it's my frigging life. I'm not their obedient little bitch anymore. When they found out I was a lesbian, they gave me hell for it. I think there's an unwritten law somewhere against the sons and daughters of Baptist ministers being queer but I never read it so it doesn't apply to me.
Sometimes, I think some people really need to get their heads out of their butts. Seriously. They think just because they see the world one way, then nobody else is entitled to having a different worldview. Take my father, Baptist minister John Adolf for example. By the time he met my mother, Janice Xavier, he had already been married twice. He had three sons and four daughters from his previous marriages. Luckily, he's one of those multi-millionaire preachers you see on television. The man has fucked half the women in his ten-thousand-person congregation. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating just a little bit but not too much. And this man is going to tell me that my choosing to be with women, following my natural drives and instincts, is a sinful thing to do? Give me a break. My father has seen way more pussy than I have, folks. Please believe this if you don't believe anything else I've said so far.
And the most infuriating thing of all is that my mother hypocritically backed him up when he condemned me for being a lesbian. You see, Janice Xavier Adolf, my dear mum, has been having some affairs of her own. You see, let's just say that Ernesto, the tall and hunky Hispanic gardener really goes above and beyond the call of duty to please the lady of the house. Oh, I'm completely indifferent. I could care less about who my mother gets down with. I just wish she wasn't standing by my father's side as he goes on with his moralizing diatribes. Dad condemns homosexuality. He's even written some books where he condemns the gays and lesbians of America as sinful people who are trying to destroy the very fabric of American society. Yeah, Lord forbid the gays and lesbians of the world start demanding that the leaders of society treat them like real human beings rather than second class citizens. Seriously.
Sometimes, I wonder why so many straight men and straight women are opposed to gay marriage. We all know how dysfunctional straight people's private lives are. Husbands and wives have affairs. They betray each other. They constantly belittle each other. They're at each other's throats all the time. And they have very little positive sex. What do I mean by positive sex? Oh, just the kind of fun a person can have only when he or she is with someone who cares about them. Straight people think they got a monopoly on love. Gay men and lesbians show more respect, love and consideration to their partners than most straight men and straight women show to their other halves. Yet they want to deny us the right to marry. What a bunch of hypocrites? Ugh!
Yeah, I guess you can say I have a strong dislike for hypocrites and I don't suffer fools. So I decided to put my money where my mouth is and do what I set out to do. I started training at this boxing club in Suffolk County. The owner, Sergio Donnelly, is an ex-boxer. He took an interest in me and saw that I had potential. Of the boxing gym's two hundred or so regular customers, only twenty are female and only five or six of the women are serious about it. I guess I stood out. Growing up how I did, I quickly learned that I had to look out for myself. My father and mother were too busy drinking and whoring around to give a damn about me. The beautiful mansion where I grew up seemed like a prison to me. I was suffocating.
My only outlet growing up was sports. I attended the prestigious Saint Wilma Academy, an all-female school located in the town of Milton, Massachusetts. Contrarily to what you might think, being a lesbian at an all-female school isn't seen as a good thing by the people of that place. Most of the chicks at the school were absolute and total whores. They would basically sleep with anything that moved. And I didn't care for most of the time. Oh, and the lecherous female teachers and the nuns who ran the school almost turned me straight. Too many ugly women hitting on me, I guess. I hated Saint Wilma Academy but they did have a lot of sports. They offered women's interscholastic softball, basketball, cross country, soccer, swimming, rugby, gymnastics, ice hockey, rifle, pistol, wrestling and lacrosse. They were considered the top private boarding school for young women in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
