It was three days before Rush Week at the University of Hinkley, Ohio. Or as it was affectionately known, UH OH. Rush Week, or course, was when the incoming freshmen had their one opportunity to join the most prestigious Greek organizations on campus. For the guys, there was no question. The premier fraternity was Beta Kappa Pi. This noble frat had maintained a reputation for over 50 years as the place where the best parties, the best games, and frankly the best schemes were created.
For the women, the top sorority was Pi Pi, or, as it was know around campus, Bi Pi. For a girl to be considered one of the "popular" group, she had to be a Bi Pi.
The current president of Bi Pi was Suzi Lou DiMarco. Suzi Lou was a senior, majoring in history. Her particularly area of study was the importance of lipstick to American first ladies. Suzi Lou also had the deciding vote on who was selected as a candidate for Pi Pi. The other officers were Cindy Sweet, VP; Amanda Hunter; Sec; and Angel Falls, Treas. Among these four ladies lay the responsibility for maintaining Bi Pi's high reputation and standards.
One of the major activities right before Rush Week, was the big Greek Charity Fundraiser. Aside from the fact that the event funded UH OH's famous Rutabaga Research Foundation, the important thing was the prestige which went to the house that raised the most money. It was also traditional for the various houses to make side bets on who would raise more money.
Chip Skippington, president of Beta Kappa Pi, had made a wager with Suzi DiMarco. Whichever of the two houses raised the most money, would get to "assist" the other with their rush activities. The winning house would design and run three Hell Week events for the losers. The only ground rules were that no pledge could be forced to actually perform a sex act. Aside from that, it was anything goes.
Hell Week, as all the prospective pledges were aware, was the week after Rush Week. During Rush Week, the fraternities and sororities selected the incoming freshmen who would be given the opportunity to join their houses. Then, during Hell Week, these pledges would be tested to prove their worthiness. Only those pledges who survived Hell Week actually became members.
Before making the wager, Chip had of course discussed the idea with the rest of the Betas. They had all agreed it was a wonderful idea. They had a particularly clever fund raising idea this year. It was sure to win. Besides, if it lost, the only people who would really suffer would be the new pledges anyway. On the other hand, when they won, they would be the ones who would get to play with all those female pledges.
Suzi had also gotten her house to agree. Traditionally, Bi Pi always raised the most money. The Pi Pi kissing booth was the most popular attraction every year. After all, every guy on campus wanted to kiss a Pi. This year would be no different.
On the day of the fundraiser, the Bi Pis were busily setting up their booth. By the time it was ready to go, the line of guys waiting for "service" was over a block long. At the end of the day, the Bi Pis girls would have very tired lips. But at $1 a kiss, they would also have a lot of money.
The Bi Pis booth had been open for over 30 minutes, but the Betas were still setting theirs up. When they put up their advertising sign, Suzi couldn't believe her eyes. "POETRY, $25 A SHEET". Suzi pointed it out to the other girls. POETRY???. What kind of college student would pay $25 for a sheet of poetry? Suzi, Cindy, and the other Bi Pis almost fell over laughing. This would be the easiest bet they had ever won.
Two hours later, the line for the kissing booth had not gotten any shorter. With 6 girls working at all times, the booth was raising well over $500 an hour. When she was between kisses, Suzi glanced over at the Beta booth. There wasn't one person in line. The strange thing was that the guys working the booth were all happy and joking around. She wondered why they weren't upset.
It was about 45 minutes later that Cindy noticed a guy go over to the Beta booth. She almost swallowed her gum when she saw the guy actually buy a sheet of poetry. Five minutes later, the Betas sold their second sheet. The fundraiser had started at 8:00 that morning. By noon, the line at the Beta booth was at least as long as the one at the Bi Pi Kissing Booth. Sandy thought she was losing her mind. What kind of college student paid $25 for some stupid frat house's poetry?
If Suzy only knew. It wasn't just the poetry. It was an Eldon J. Fitzgerald specialty.
Eldon J. Fitzgerald was a nerd. There was no other way to describe him. He was the top math student on campus. Hell, he was the top student on campus. Eldon was 5'3" tall and weighed maybe 120 pounds. He always wore a dress shirt and bow tie. Eldon also wore glasses thicker than most windshields. The biggest mystery on campus was why Eldon J. Fitzgerald had been chosen to join Beta Kappa Pi.
Actually there were two reasons. The first one, was that the computer that Eldon J. Fitzgerald couldn't break into hadn't been invented yet. The second was that all tests and grades at the University were stored on computer. Eldon, whose nickname was Hacker, was one of the most popular members of the frat. He personally was responsible for the incredible GPA that Beta Kappa Pi members maintained. In fact, because of Hacker, no Beta officer had attended one class in the last 3 years.
Hacker was a senior now, and he wanted to leave the frat with a particularly legendary reputation. The only way to do that was to create something so memorable, that tales of it would be told by frat members for years to come. It was for this reason Hacker had suggested that Chip make the wager they were currently involved in. When he had explained his fund raising idea to Chip and the rest of the frat, it had only taken about 10 seconds for the entire brotherhood to go along with the plan.
Eldon's idea had actually been very simple. The one course that every student hated was Math. From Hacker's point of view, the good thing about Math was that it never changed. The tests for every Math Class at the college were standardized each year. By the time the year began, all the tests for each class were written and stored on the computer.