Part 1
The satin blindfold slips off and settles neatly below me. I lift my head, searching for your eyes. You're standing before me, shoulders square, hands at your sides, staring at me. A stranger might interpret your gaze as cold, but I know better. I see a loving and proud man. You're wearing all black -- jeans, shirt, shoes, and belt. I marvel at how handsome you are. You are poised, confident, calm. You lift your chin, a signal, granting permission for me to take in our surroundings. I obey and my eyes wander.
There are five unfamiliar men in the room. They vary in age -- the youngest looks about 25. I briefly ponder the type of man he will be. The men are wearing only their socks and briefs. I notice their slumped posture, and I glance over the growing bulge in each of their briefs. The men seem uncomfortable, like they're not sure what to do with their hands or where to look. One man, the shortest, has his hands on his hips in a wide stance. I internally scoff at his insecurity. Pathetic.
The room is dark except for one uncovered yellow lightbulb hanging above me. It sways slightly. The light makes a soft, hazy circle on the floor around me. I notice the concrete floors, wooden walls, and stained ceiling. I don't see any windows or a door. To my right is a crooked couch covered with a thin sheet. Beside the couch is a wooden chair, carelessly tipped on its side. I see a few cardboard boxes, a stool, a wicker basket, and a pile of magazines. Everything is covered in a thick layer of dust. What is this place? Maybe an old storage room or an abandoned building. I have no idea where I am or what time it is. Normally, that would cause panic, but I feel peace.
The room is silent and cold. I can smell the men's body odor and a mixture of cheap colognes. The scent goes straight to my head and adds to my dizziness.
I breathe deeply and focus inward. I'm perched on a concrete platform. I'm posed on all fours, fingers together and legs wide. My back is slightly arched, exposing every part of me. The collar is tight, steadying me and reminding me of my purpose. I feel my back and shoulder muscles clenching. I notice the throb where my knees are digging into the cold platform. There is a burning ache between my legs. My heartbeat echoes in my chest.
My gaze settles back on you and your voice finally breaks the silence.
"Let's begin."
Those words push me over the edge into full submissive escape. I am sinking to the bottom of the ocean, spiraling into stillness. I release my mind and slip under the spell of your control.
Part 2
Time flashes forward.
In a moment of clarity, I float out of my body and watch myself from above. I hear my own moans and yelps as if I'm listening to a faraway recording. The room is familiar, but strange. The air is stale and cold. I can smell your cologne mixing with my own aroma.
I remember that we aren't alone, even though it feels like the world belongs to only you and me. Those unfamiliar men are still standing around me and I feel a wave of emotion, the easiest of which to identify is disgust. They are all unattractive. Out of shape, poorly groomed, and unappealing men with darkness and weakness in their eyes. I feel sorrow for them. They are clearly unevolved and full of self hatred. I feel as though I immediately understand the men. Most obviously, they are jealous of you. You are everything they are not and will never be. They desire to feel the respect and trust that I give to you. They wish they could have authority over a devoted girl like me. They wish they could have me. But, you would never allow it. They can look, but never touch. They don't deserve it.
However, their jealousy doesn't stop there. They are jealous of me as well. They wish they could have the self control and empowerment that I embody. They want to be cared for like you care for me. They long for someone to make them worthy, like you have for me. They are desperate, clawing their way through a tunnel that will never end. They want to matter, but they know they never will. Not as truly and deeply as we matter to each other. They could never compare to us.
When the immediate disgust I feel about their misery fades, I turn my attention to you and I feel humbled. I look at you -- so in tune, attentive, aware -- and feel undeserving. I bask in your presence and worship your leadership. You control this space and you've intentionally created this oasis for us. I am honored to be chosen.
My humility and gratitude shift to pride. I remember every moment that got me here. Every conversation, every mistake, every triumph. I am confident in my trust of you. I look at you and am completely fulfilled. I earned this and I belong here. This is my purpose. I am pure and clean. I am your perfect angel.
The men are lingering on the perimeter of the bright circle that surrounds me. They are predators; salivating, ready to feast, seeing me as their lifeless prey. They are mistaken though. I am alive. Breathing, healthy and strong. Untouchable. Only you have the right to step into my light and devour me. I bloom for you. Only you are the source of all my pleasure, giving and taking as you see fit. I belong to you, body and mind.
And yes, I finally notice the pain. My pelvis is hot; my breasts tender; muscles fatigued. I'm lightheaded and unsteady. I tune into the pain and wait until it turns to pleasure as it always does.
