Hello. Thank you for coming to see me after class during office hours. I know I give you a lot of homework, so I understand this puts an extra burden on you. But I think in the long run you'll find our meeting...meetings will be, perhaps, to your benefit.
I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but you are currently my favorite student. You see, every once in a while I spy a student who has such potential, but doesn't realize it. He could be truly excellent, but for some reason, there is something holding him back. You are such a student, my dear, and it pains me because my job is to help you be all that you can be, and I feel like I'm failing you.
No. No. I know you LIKE me. I'm flattered that I'm your favorite teacher, but it's not important that you like me. What's important is that you learn from me. That you show improvement.
Do you think you've demonstrated improvement as this year has progressed? Answer me honestly. I can tell when one of my students is lying.
Really. Well, it's commendable that you can admit to your failures. Let's take the last quiz we had on 19th century poet, Emily Dickinson. You got the basic questions correct. However, you failed at many of the more detailed questions. Don't you think that details matter? Shouldn't we strive for perfection?
Yes. I agree. That's why I think we should start by reviewing your quiz..but this time with a little extra encouragement.
Stand up. Pull down your pants and lean over the desk.
That's a good boy.
I know this might be embarrassing, but remember, I'm your instructor. You don't need to be afraid. I have your best interests at heart. And the sooner we get this over with, the fewer people will see you in such a very exposed position. Not too many people walk by my office, but the halls can get busy after football practice. And my...you ARE exposed. You have such a lovely bottom. It would be a shame to mar such beautiful, pink flesh.
Now, what I'm going to do is retest you on your quiz and see if you've mastered the questions you got incorrect before. If you have, thats excellent. If not, I will deliver five swats of my ruler for each incorrect question. As I punish you, I want you to say the correct answer out loud. And pay attention. Because I may surprise you by asking the same question more than one time to ensure you're paying attention.
Well, I can't help but be disappointed. But you did take your punishment well. That's something to be proud of. Not even a tear. Well, maybe just one? Your face is certainly red now, but not as red as your rear. It's actually more a lovely shade of pink. It may be a little challenging to sit tomorrow, but that should help remind you to apply yourself faithfully to your studies.