Everything seemed to go up in smoke over the course of three days. I completely bombed a huge project presentation at the office. Some how my bank account was nearly dry three days after I got paid and to top it off, I had zero motivation to do anything. My brain was a foggy mess. I could not remember the last time I had a clear and concise thought.
"Son of a bitch!" I hissed, early one Tuesday morning. I was straightening my unruly hair, to look presentable, for work and instead of closing the heated plates over the parted lock of hair I was holding, I closed them tightly down on the top of my ear.
I dropped the offending tool into the sink, leaning close to the mirror to examine the seared flesh. Ugly red blisters were already appearing and turning white on the surface. A great look for a stuffy office environment.
"It won't be noticeable if I just leave my hair down." I said out loud to no one. I had always had a bad habit of talking to myself when I was stressed. No, that's a lie. I talked to myself all the time. "But after yesterday you'll be lucky if they don't fire you the second you walk in the door."
The day before I was presenting our product to a group of high powered, meaning rich, investors. I had been preparing for weeks and in the middle of my power point presentation the nerves connecting my brain to my mouth simply shut off. I became a stuttering mess to the point that my boss stepped in and asked me to leave. I was mortified. The investors simply glared at me while I collected my things and left the conference room. I barely managed to keep the tears hidden until I was back in the safety of my cubicle.
I finished getting dressed and sat down at my kitchen table to have my coffee and try to compose myself for a trying day. Opening my laptop, I scrolled lazily through social media and clicked over to my bank account. After I entered my password, I spit coffee across the table and myself when I saw the balance. Fuck! My balance had not been that low since college.
My mind raced as I looked through the recent activities. I had done this to myself. Every needless subscription to streaming services, the gym membership I never used, the week late rent check and internet bill had all been drawn out on the same night. On top of that I had treated myself to a decently large grocery run the night before. A shit day at work calls for wine and ice cream among other things. My next paycheck wasn't coming for another ten days.
"How am I going to make this work?" I said out loud, starting to tear up.
That is when I heard Darius' voice in my head. "I would see to your comfort in every aspect of your life." I shook myself. No, I would not depend on a man to take care of me. I can do this myself. "I know you hate working day to day. I know your struggles. I can make it so you only have to worry about one thing. Pleasing me." He had spoken so softly as his hand traced the training collar at my throat. I trembled at the soft touch. "Doesn't that sound lovely, cherub?"
"Yes, Master." I breathed. Still sitting at my kitchen table. Words I had not spoken in six months. I missed the feeling of those words in my mouth. I missed the security of being under Darius' control. I missed not having to think.
I had been with Him for 3 years, serving as a willing slave to his pleasure. I had felt contentment and happiness greater than any I had felt in my life during those years. He had a way of making even the most self-conscious of women feel like Goddesses under his training. I carried my large frame with pride, embracing every "flaw" as if it were an ornament. I missed feeling that way, I missed the clarity that serving afforded me. I missed my Master. If only I had accepted his locking collar, why had I been such a coward? The offer of his collar was akin to a marriage proposal. When he asked me I was so deep in subspace that I would have agreed readily but he asked me to take a few days to think about it and then contact him. That was months ago.
I wanted to go back. I had to go back. My cold feet had turned into cement blocks that were now drowning me. It was time to come back to the surface.
It took seconds to send an email to my boss letting him know that I would be taking the next three days off for personal reasons. My text to Darius was more difficult to write. I typed and erased about 30 messages before settling on simply. Master, I miss you. I need you. Please allow me to come back to you.
I sat back in my chair and stared at my phone. Waiting. Waiting. It was early in the day, maybe he wouldn't get my message until later. What if he hated me for disappearing? What if I never heard back from him again? Why did I run? What was wrong with me?
Bzz! Bzz!
My phone vibrated a message in my hand. I braced myself for the worst and opened it.
Ask me nicely. - D
My heart raced and leapt to my throat. I knew what those words meant. He would see me, but I had to be on my best behavior, his rules followed to the letter. I didn't even have to ask him for a time or place to meet. I knew. He would be at the ButterFly Lounge, a local fetish bar at 7 o'clock, he would have a single small drink to ease the tension of the day but not cloud his thinking and then he would want to play. Which mean I should meet him there at 7:25PM.
I went to my dresser and pulled the journal from the back of my underwear drawer. When I first met Darius I had written down all his rules and preferences. I still remembered them all vividly but there was no room for error tonight.
I got back in the shower and exfoliated every inch of my body. Then I shaved my legs, under my arms, I even whisked away the tiny hairs that grew on my toes. I knew better than to shave my pussy. Darius always preferred his slaves to have hair long enough to grab on their heads and lower, good for getting a wayward sub's attention. You haven't lived until you've had a slightly annoyed, if not angered, Dom grab you by the pubes and growl in your ear to Behave.
Hopefully, it was going to be a long night, so I laid down to have a late morning nap and follow another of Darius' rules. Get myself riled up thoroughly before coming to see him. He always knew if that rule was not followed.
There was all of one time I did not adhere to his command, and it was an accident. I had been working from home that day and lost track of time. I rushed out the door when my kitchen clock chimed 7 o'clock and barely made it to the ButterFly Lounge by the time Darius had finished his drink.
I skidded to a halt in front of his chair and slowly sank to my knees, in greeting.
"Had a busy day, cherub?" he asked quietly, running his hand down my hair. I leaned into his caress.
"Yes, Master, but it's better now that I'm here with you."
"Such a sweet little girl you are. Come sit on my lap so I can cuddle you properly." I smiled shyly and I rose from my place on the floor.