"You know what you need?" Sven leant against the sink and watched Mimi luxuriate in the bath.
"What?" she held out her empty glass and he refilled it from the bottle on the floor.
"Topping." He grinned. "You look so fractious I think it would do you good."
Mimi stopped, pulled her glass close to her slowly, thinking. "I'm fine, really."
"You haven't stopped in two weeks, sugar. You need to rest."
"Uh." Mimi placed her glass on the tiled ledge to her left and sank into the steaming water so that her hair tangled like weeds around her face. "I know. I've forgotten what it's like to-" she stopped again, mid sentence and squeezed her eyes closed as though the action would stop the tears that burned behind them in their tracks.
"Hey." Sven put his glass on the shelf above the sink and knelt down, stroked her face. "What?"
"Oh, I'm just tired." She shook her head, her tear streaked face reddened by the steam. "I am just very tired, that's all." She grabbed his wrist, kissed it.
"You're sure?" he gave her a long look. "If there's anything wrong you can tell me."
Mimi nodded, swallowed hard, tried to will the lump in her throat away. "Thank you. There isn't." she said. "And I would, I promise." She forced a smile.
"Good. Now get out." Sven stood and shook out a large towel. "You need to switch off."
"I can't." Mimi smiled and stood, wrung out her hair into the bath. She took the towel from him and wrapped it around herself as she stepped out. Sven pulled the plug and watched the scented water glug away.
"You need to." He said. "It's not good for you to be thinking about work all the time or things you feel like you have to do."
"This coming from you?" she smirked.
Sven shrugged. "You look after me." He said. "Plus, I'm pretty good at benign neglect now. Things are going to be okay -- if only for tonight."
Mimi was towelling herself off, watching herself in the bathroom mirror. "Do you think I've put on weight recently? I look a bit..." she tailed off, pinched the flesh on her hips.
"This is just what I mean." Sven sighed, kissed her on the cheek. "Always worrying. You look fine to me."
"It's practically your job to say that." Mimi said.
"Ever the cynic." Sven grabbed a small bottle of scented oil from the shelf, waved it at her. "Let me rub your shoulders, kitten." He watched her hesitate then pulled her close, kissed her hard on the mouth. "It doesn't have to be topping." He whispered. "It can be me serving you and making everything safe and okay if that's what you need it to be. I can service top you." He said. "Or I can bend over and take it like a man if that's what you want."
Mimi nodded, felt the knot in her shoulders begin to unfurl at the idea of him pushed against her, whispering obscenities into her ear. "Will you service fuck me?" she asked.
"Yes, Ma'am." He smiled. "Whatever you need."
"Thank you." She smiled. "God damn it." Mimi sniffed loudly, fought off tears again.
"Are you definitely sure this is just tiredness?" Sven said. "Definitely nothing else? You haven't been fired have you?"
Mimi laughed. "No, silly." She wiped her face on the back of her hand. "I'm just so tired from everything. Fourteen-hour days and travelling up and down the country. I feel bad for neglecting you. I haven't rung my mum in two weeks." She sighed. "It's like I'm never off."
"All the more reason for it, then." Sven said. "If you want."
Mimi nodded. "You have no idea."
"Well, then." Sven said, "Put your hair up then come into the bedroom. You can forget the clothes."
Mimi nodded, smiled up at him. "You're so good to me."
Sven nodded, closed the door behind him.
The bedroom was dark and for all their talk of topping and fucking he wanted little more than to scoop Mimi up and cuddle her close to him until she was utterly doubtless that he would be there for her through everything. He hated seeing her so fretful though knew it was just the price she had agreed to pay for the life they had. In a horrible kind of way, it made the moments they did get to relax all that more sweet when they came. It was those times when they were both full of the knowledge that their toil and tears had been good for something. Sven turned the bedside lamps on, kept the light low and pulled the toy-bag from the bottom of the wardrobe. He unzipped it and left it on the floor at the foot of the bed then walked to the window and closed the blinds, watched as the humming light of the city disappeared behind the thick, cream fabric.
"Are you done yet?" he shouted, "Get out here."
Mimi's voice returned, muffled. "Nearly." Came the reply, more buoyant than before.
Sven smiled, lit the candles that stood on the small, wooden dresser and turned back to the bag.
"Oh, lovely." Mimi eyed the candles and the closed blinds, took a sip of her wine. "This is perfect." She said. "Shall I sit down?" she nodded towards the bed.
"Yes." Sven looked up. "Take off the towel, though. It's warm in here, I checked the radiator. It's on."
"If you say so." Mimi let the towel pool around her ankles then stepped over it, settled on a spot in the middle of the bed. "There. I'm ready. You can ravish me now."
"Hah. I might just do that." Sven kicked off his own jeans, pulled off his socks. He joined Mimi on the bed in nothing but boxers and a t-shirt, made himself comfortable behind her, his knees pulled up. "You ready then?" he asked, letting a few small beads of the oil drip into his palm.
Mimi nodded, the curls piled on her head shanking. "I am." She breathed. "Definitely."
"Good." He kissed the space where her neck met her clavicle and she moaned in response, gooseflesh shivering upward despite the comfortable warmth. "Absolutely no work related thoughts for the rest of the night. None." He said.
"None?" Mimi repeated. "Okay then." the phrase escaped her lips knotted in a long, low exhalation that made Sven laugh.
"Ugh. Sorry." She said. "It's like I've forgotten how to have an actual life."
"No guilt, either." Sven said, his thumbs running over the back of her neck, pressing hard against her shoulder blades.
"God damn, that is good." She said. "I forgot you could do this."
"You bet." He nodded. "I'll work my way down."
"Will you, now?" Mimi smiled, turned slightly. He pushed her back to face forward, nodded.
"I will." He said. "And you needn't do anything."
"Damn, I love it when you talk dirty."
Sven laughed. "I saw you were sketching this morning."
Mimi turned around again. "How do you know that?"
"I saw the napkin on top of the file you left on the coffee table." He said. "It's nice to see."
"Thank you." Mimi smiled. "I missed it so much. I've been so busy that it's like I forgot how important it is to me. How important it used to be. Once upon a time it was my very reason for living and then life got in the way and I never got around to it."
"It's good to see you taking time for yourself again." Sven said, his fingers working slowly over her shoulders. "I worry about you, you know that."
Mimi nodded, swallowed hard. "I know." She reached backward, searching for his hand. They met half way and she squeezed it tight. "I know you do." She said. "Thank you."
"You needn't thank me." He laughed. "Silly thing." Another kiss landed on her shoulder and she grabbed him and pushed him down, pressed their mouths together, her whole body aching for him.
Sven cupped her bottom with his hand, held her close. "What do you want?" he asked. "You never really have told me properly."
"Oh-" Mimi blushed. "You mean submissive leanings?"
He nodded, pulled her close. "I need to know, baby."
"Yes." She agreed. "You do." She twisted in his grip, her hand flat against his side. "Okay." There was another breath, as though she were preparing herself for some great revelation. "I think about-" she paused, looked up at him. "Don't laugh."
"No." He hugged her close. "Don't give me that shit, Amanda. I've told you everything. Tell me. You've bottomed to me a handful of times, I've got a fair idea."
"I think about mild pain but I'm not sure if I want so much of it in reality. Remember that time before?"
"Yes." Sven nodded. "Okay. We can do that. I'll go slow."
"Good. And you know I like it when you talk dirty." She said. "And a little rough play would be nice. I feel like I need sensations strong enough to make me not think of anything."
"Sounds fair." Sven smiled, grabbed her glass. " You can start by getting the following from the toybag." He said.
"What?" Mimi turned, watched him set her glass on the side table.
"The tape, the medical scissors we have in there and..." he hesitated, watched her move to the bag. "I'll get the rest. Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise now, would I?"
Mimi smiled, shook her head. "I suppose not."
"What was that?" Sven cupped his hand around his ear theatrically, "What did you say?"
Mimi narrowed her eyes, tried to supress a laugh. "No. Not happening."
"Do it." He smiled. "Go on, say it."
Mimi pouted. "Do I have to?"
"What do you think?" he pulled the tape and the scissors off her and laid them on the table. "I shan't ask twice."
Mimi sighed heavily, swallowed the strange, niggle of pride that swam about the back of her mind like some grinning shark. " No, Sir."
"Good." Sven smiled. "Keep going."
"I wouldn't want you to ruin the surprise."
"Good girl." He nodded, pulling a length of tape from the roll. "Arms out, wrists together."
Mimi obeyed, watched him. "You're loving this, aren't you?" she smirked.
Sven nodded. "I'd be lying if I said no. Of course I love it. Look at you." He snipped away the tape and pressed the length around her wrists so that they were bound together in front of her. " Stretch your arms above your head."
"Like this?" Mimi followed the order so that her arms hovered in a triangle above her.
" Perfect." He said, his arms moving around her waist, pulling her close against him and kissing her hard. His tongue pushed her lips apart and she moved closer, her bound arms falling around his neck.
"Back up." He breathed., one arm stretching upward to replace her arms above her head. "Hold the position, do not touch me."
"Yes Sir." Mimi nodded.
"Good." He kissed her again, delighted in the way she tried to move nearer to him, moaned into his mouth. "Greedy tonight, kitten?"
"I might be." She said. "Needy not greedy."
He nodded. "Maybe a little of both." He teased. "But tonight, that's just fine."
