Are You Sure You Want This?

"Are you sure you want this?"

I sleepily turn my head to look you in the eye, your warm and tender hazel eyes. Even as I half-heartedly shake off the last vestiges of sleep, I melt into you as I caress the side of your face.

"Yes," I answer. We both know what we are talking about, we spent the night opening our souls wider than ever, discussing our needs...my needs, my desires. It's all in the open now.

"Are you scared?" You ask while stroking my hair and face.

"Yes." Words are not my strong suit. You're the talker, not me.

"And are you ready?"

I start to shake a little, my heart pounding.

"Yes."

Your deep voice seems to change slightly as you declare: "Then it begins now. There is a list on your bedside table. Complete it all in the next hour, then see me in the living room." You hesitate slightly before adding, "and you aren't to look at me or talk to me during this time. Do your best if you have questions. You will be punished if you don't meet my standards."

I shiver with fear and excitement at your last words. And start to pout as you abruptly turn over and leave the bed without kissing or snuggling. After you have left the room I take a moment to let it all sink in. I take a moment to wonder if I can do this. I question myself, my motives, my mind starts to turn to shame, guilt and loathing. The only thing that stops me from a full out rumination is the thought of your list.

I wonder what's on it, I think as I pick it up nervously. I am relieved to see that it's all very basic: get up, shower, brush teeth, etc. It's just a list of me getting up. I smile and calm down as I realize you carefully set me up to succeed for my first test. I do tense excitedly when I see that you have chosen what I'm going to wear, what lotion to use and how to style myself:

Black yoga pants, my red yoga top, black leather ballet slippers and mandarin orange lotion. You also want me to go without makeup and blow my hair dry simply. I wish it were more exciting, but get started to make sure I stay on track. I only have 48 minutes now.

I set my new egg timer for 15 minutes and get in the shower. I sigh as I can't take my usual long and luxurious shower so I get to work cleaning, shaving and softening myself for you. It excites me to think of this game actually happening. I'm just about done when the timer goes off. I finish up my shower and accomplish the rest of the list with just a few minutes to spare. I take a few breaths and walk into the living room, knowing that it's really about to start.

I sit next to you on the couch, carefully not looking at you. Only when the hour is actually up do you look at me, looking me over to make sure I've completed my first tasks. After you see that I have you start kissing me and telling me how good I've done. I melt at your praise as you pull me onto your lap, holding me in your arms, keeping me safe. You let me enjoy the moment and then sit me back so I can look at you.

"I am so proud of you," you begin. "Now I know you were probably hoping for a sexy little outfit and for it to be more exciting. But this is about what you need, not what you want. You can earn things like outfits and gifts as we complete this week of training, I've bought a few because I know how much you love them. But remember that our goal for this is to help you be a better person in the long run. And this week is to begin your submission to me."

There you said it. I am instantly filled with conflicting feelings at finally hearing the words spoken so plainly. I simply nod my head and continue looking into your eyes.

"You will begin by completing the list of chores on the counter. I have times for how long each should take and you can choose the order you complete them in. You'll keep a careful log of your time in your submission journal, noting the time you began and ended each task. Do not talk or look at me while you complete your tasks. You can sing and listen to music if you choose. I want you to try and do these tasks in a positive spirit. Think about how much you are going to please me by doing them. This should give you pleasure."

I try to suppress a groan at the thought of doing chores. I haven't always been lazy and it's one of the goals we decided on together. Still, I hate to hear it and can feel a part of me start to get grumpy. You see the change and make me look into your eyes.

"I love you," you say simply. "I need you to be better at some things and am willing to help you get there. So for now, do these things just to please me."

The directness and simplicity of your words cuts through my clouded thoughts and I relax again. Just do it to please him, I think, and forget the rest. I am instantly in a better state of mind and ready to make you proud.

I complete my chores, grateful that you didn't overload me with gross tasks. Still, by the end of it I'm tired and want to rest. After you inspect the list, making sure I did well and completed them in a timely manner, you shower me with praise and affection once again. By the end, I'm beaming and glowing with pride. I'm happy.

You then direct me to stretch my body out from top to toes, for at least half an hour, however I choose. You leave the room as you know I'm not ready to do that in front of you and I luxuriate in stretching out my hard-worked muscles. You then have me do some ballet, shower and freshen myself up again. This time, you have me remain naked.

I walk into the living room, feeling exposed. You take a few minutes to hold me, comforting me and praising me. I feel the horrid walls in my heart begin to crumble a little. I relax into you, finding surrender to be easy in that moment.

Then your voice changes and you command me to kneel at your feet with my head bowed. You slip a delicate leather collar around my neck. It's simple black, but soft and high quality. You tell me that later I can earn a better one, maybe even choose my next one.

My mind is reeling, this is it. You then proceed to put on matching ankle and wrist cuffs, though these are thicker for comfort. I shiver at the implications. Then you have me look up at you while you lay down the rules.

"Unless, you are told otherwise, you may look at me and look me in the eyes. At certain time sir when you displease me this will change so pay attention." So far so good.

"You may ask questions, but may not speak unnecessarily."

"How will I know if it's unnecessary?" I ask.

"That's up to me," you reply, abruptly moving on. "You may scream, cry, yell and moan at any time. This may not be easy."

I get chills at your words as you move on. "For the next three hours you are unequivocally mine. You have willingly placed yourself in my care and you will see this through. The goal for this is to begin breaking you so that we can build you back up better, together." Your voice softens at the last words.

"You will address me as master, sir or daddy. You are my pet." I nod in agreement, excited at the prospect.

"Stand." I gracefully rise to my feet, already in a different mindset. I never break eye contact, though it's not to challenge you. It's to seek comfort as I descend on what feels like a one way journey.

You take me by the hand and lead me to our room, telling me to follow you. I notice that you are taking great care to talk a lot, to avoid my mind returning to darker times when silence ruled my worst moments. I am grateful at the realization and take comfort in it.

At the door you have me pause, close my eyes and begin to breathe deeply. Using your powerful and sexy voice, you guide the timing of my breaths, gradually slowing them down and slowing my thoughts with them. After you judge me to be present and relaxed you attach a leash to my collar, have me get on all fours and crawl through the door. I maintain the pace of breathing you've set for me and crawl after you. It gives me peace and strength.

You then have me stand in front of you with my arms stretched to the side and my legs spread wide while you begin to kiss and enjoy my body. You mostly neglect my breasts, only occasionally brushing your hands lightly over my nipples as you reach your hands to encircle my throat, proving your dominance. You kiss my pale skin from my slender neck to the tips of my fingers, down between my breasts, over the tight indentation of my waist and the sharp curve of my hips. You gently bite my jutting hip bones, making me moan and press myself to you. You run your hands from the tops of my feet, up my legs to my soft triangle of hair, not touching me yet. You move behind me, kissing my back and round butt cheeks, stopping to bite my ass cheeks and knead them with your hands. You run your fingers up the back of my legs, up my back and neck to my hair, running your fingers through it. Every cell in my body is now awake and aching for you. And now it's time for you to own me.

Your hands tighten on my hair as you sit on the bed, commanding me to lay across your lap. I do so willingly. You run your hands over my body for another moment, reveling in the idea that I am yours completely and by choice. Then you begin to spank me with your hand, lightly at first while you gain a rhythm.

It doesn't hurt at first but quickly it starts to sting. I do my best to keep still and quiet, knowing that our goal is to bring me to real tears so I can't ham it up. I simply lie there, uncomfortable, feeling vulnerable and allow myself to be in the moment.

As you progressively start to spank harder, you can't help but begin to think of my past transgressions, failings and choices. Today is not about punishment and yet as you begin to take your frustrations out on my ass, I feel the change. We both understand it and surrender to the need for it. I start to squirm and your hand is beginning to hurt so you have me kneel on the bed on all fours. You loosen your belt and slowly slip it from your belt loops; I shiver excitedly at the sound, knowing what is coming next. As I begin to turn and look at you, you command me not look at you until my spanking is over.

You draw your arm back and give me my first blow, testing your aim and the effect. I remain stoic as you pick up your pace. As the soft leather licks my ass, I feel myself steadily growing wetter and more aroused. The pain ignites something in me and I begin to crave each strike, though I still dance from side to side.

"Hold still, pet," you command, pausing for a moment to make sure I've heard.

"How long?" I ask. I am answered with an especially cruel stroke. "How long, sir?" I quickly correct myself.

"Twenty strokes that you will count." Without another word you begin, lashing me sharply across the tops of my cheeks.

"One, sir."

The second catches my left cheek, the tip wrapping deliciously and painfully near my crack.

"Two, sir."

The third lands on my right cheek, the tip digging into my hip this time.

"Three, sir."

The fourth lands perfectly across both cheeks in the center. It is starting to hurt now.

"Four, sir."

The fifth and sixth are harder and come more quickly, though I still count them perfectly. It's no longer fun for me.

As you finish my twenty lashes, the pain begins to build. I haven't felt pain like this that I can remember. It's a struggle to hold still and I'm screaming by the end. But I'm not crying.

You lay the belt down and take a moment to nuzzle my neck and ear, rubbing my burning cheeks. My high pain tolerance won't allow me to break yet. You have me lay on the bed, attaching my cuffs to ropes so that I am spread out on the bed. Then you take a paddle and start to rain blows on my tortured cheeks. After the first few you decide that my screams could be problematic so you place a ball gag in my mouth, propping me to make sure I can breathe unobstructed. You then continue to paddle my ass.

I relish the freedom in the gag, shamelessly screaming into it as I wait for the tears to come. I squirm as much as I can, but you've tied me firmly so it doesn't do much good. My pussy has long since begun to soak the bedding and you stop for a moment to run your fingers in my silky slit for the first time. I moan contentedly, my mind reeling and yet clearly focused on your touch as your lightly brush my clit a few times. You continue to paddle as I squirm and yell, bucking and grinding into the bed to stimulate myself but to no avail. My sexual frustration is what finally breaks me as I begins to cry. You notice instantly and carry on paddling me as we discussed, though your blows are a tad softer. After a few, you release my bonds, helping me into a new kneeling position, taking the opportunity to rub my body and comfort me. I don't look at you still but lean into you and you understand that I'm fine to proceed as planned.

So you attach a small spreader bar to my knees, cuffing my hands to my ankles. My ass is high in the air, my face in the bed and my ass and pussy completely spread and open to you. You remove my gag as I have started crying. There's no longer any need for it. You pick back up the belt and give me a steady stream of strokes across my ass. I weep into the sheets.

You pick up a crop and begin to strike at my ass crack and pussy. My pussy is so wet that is makes a soft splat as you hit it and I can feel drops of my wetness hit my legs and belly as you alternate swats on my ass and pussy. I am struggling ferociously and begging you to stop. It's not until I break, surrender and relax into it that you think about stopping. Once my struggling stops and I just weep quietly, you continue to crop my ass cheeks, crack and pussy, making sure that I've reached the point we were aiming for. I have.

I have no words to,describe the change, but it's comforting and it's complete. My soul has been brought to this moment and belongs to you. You untie me and lay me on my tummy to begin soothingly kissing my body. This turns you on and you roll me over to kiss me for,the first time. You own my mouth with your sloppiest kiss, testing me, knowing how much I hate it. I docilely and gratefully accept all your love, in whatever way I can get it.

You command me to undress you as I kneel naked at your feet. I softly and gracefully remove each item of clothing, paying homage to your beauty and power with a kiss after i remove each one. Each piece of clothing I take off reveals more of your sculpted body, more of your masculinity and I struggle to contain my lust, knowing now it's not about me. Sometimes it will be, but not now.

I kneel again at your feet after I neatly fold your clothing, content in my first level of submission. Standing tall and towering over me, you guide my mouth to your huge cock, hard from having spanked me. The act of beating and breaking me has awakened something in you as well, and you stand blazing in your power and lust. You direct me to first lick it from shaft to tip, then you have me lick and suckle your balls. When you finally allow me to wrap my lips around you, I close my eyes in peace and contentment, suckling the head of it for a moment. You grant me a few minutes to please you as I see fit. I bob up and down slowly, swirling my tongue around the head and sliding it up and down the shaft while I deep throat you.

It isn't long until you grab my hair with one hand and my leash with the other, guiding me to slide up and down your shaft. You increase the pace,reveling in my soft lips and willing mouth. Without any regard for me, lost in your own pleasure, you begin to thrust your hips to meet my mouth with each downward stroke. I begin to gag as you fuck my mouth harder, deeper and faster. Your head is thrown back in pleasure as you lose yourself in the pleasure, demanding it, enjoying it. When you look down to watch me struggling to take you all the way, you are overcome with lust and begin to fuck me in a frenzy. Normally silent, you grunt and moan as you force me to deep throat you again and again. You look down again to find a pale woman, kneeling under you, cuffed and collared, willingly subjugating herself to give you pleasure. You tip over the edge and cum into my mouth with a yell, almost a roar.

Even though I knew you were about to cum, it still takes me by surprise when the first loads of cum begin pouring into my mouth and throat. I accidentally swallow some, leaving the rest in my mouth. You usually don't cum in my mouth, knowing how I feel about it. You look down at me with sex glazed eyes, slip out and tell me to open my mouth and show you. I hesitantly display your giant load resting on my tongue. You hold my gaze and command me to swallow it. I look at you imploringly and, finding no quarter, gulp down your seed.

"Now thank me."

"Thank you, sir."

"For, what?"

"Thank you, sir for fucking my mouth and letting me swallow your cum." This satisfies you even more and you lift me up by the leash to kiss me, tasting your cum on my lips.

Then you throw me on the bed, kissing me forcefully, owning me still. You spread my legs and begin lapping at my sopping pussy, sucking me, licking me with long and short strokes, swirling my clit with your tongue. I more quickly than ever get close to cumming, so quickly it takes me by surprise. You can tell and stop before I reach the edge.

Still lying between my spread legs, you look me in the eyes and slowly insert a finger into my pussy, holding my gaze as you fuck me. After a little you withdraw, knowing not to push me too far with everything tonight, and eat my pussy again. And once again, you stop as I approach orgasm and insert your finger in me. This time you just fuck me enough to wet your finger and hold my gaze as you tease my asshole this time. Cruelly, you hold my gaze again, knowing how humiliated I am and knowing how I crave it like nothing else. This time, you leave your finger in my ass when you start to lick my clit again. And again you hold off letting me cum. I begin to beg you to allow me to come.

By this time you're hard again and plunge yourself deep into me. Though I am slick, I am as tight as always and it hurts me as your balls slap against me on the first thrust. You don't slow at all and continue a brutal pace, spreading my legs wide, then holding them against your shoulder and finally forcing them to my ears in my least favorite position as you continue to hammer into me. I can only lie there as my body is racked again with pleasure and pain, this time my gspot is being stimulated. You fuck me without mercy, watching as the pleasure begins to overtake me. You can tell when I start fighting the pleasure and you stop, kissing me deeply to comfort me.

"Take it. Take my cock and take the pleasure. That's an order."

You start fucking me again, my knees pushed to almost my ears, your cock rubbing mercilessly against my gspot. You can feel gushes of hot pussy juice squirt against your cock and watch as I lose control, cumming on your cock. You force me to cum until I'm crying again, this time with an overload of pleasure and then you allow yourself to drive into me until you cum into my pussy, kissing me deeply owning me and being owned by me.