Anticipation

My sighs of pleasure mingle with the soft murmur of your voice as we lie in bed. Our hands and lips slowly explore the hidden recesses of each other's bodies, searching for those places that bring most pleasure...tongues tasting, while fingers probe and nails scrape flesh lightly, exciting each other slowly...we have all the time in the world now...

Your mouth at my breast, I reach up to run my hands through your hair...so soft, like silk. I never knew a man's hair could be so soft. I use it now to tug your head back so I can look at your face, stare into your eyes...I want to memorize your features so I can replay these moments over and over again in my dreams when we must be apart.

For two days now we have been hidden away in this place together...far away from reality and from prying eyes. Making love, sleeping briefly...waking to eat and talk, tease and laugh before the cycle begins anew. Oft-wondered questions have been asked and answered – imaginings compared against reality... I'd have thought I'd be satiated by now from the surfeit of passion we've shared, and so I am surprised by the sharp stab of desire and renewed yearning that assails me as I look into your face.

Recognizing my quick indrawn breath and the sudden smoldering look in my eyes, you grin at me. There is no resistance as you slide your hands along my arms, drawing them up above my head so I am stretched out beneath you – an offering, waiting on your pleasure. Leaning down with your mouth close against my ear you whisper a question...am I ready for you again? I feel the blush on my cheeks, knowing you know the answer...embarrassed at being so wanton, and so easily read.

In the absence of a verbal response you reach down with one hand and slide two fingers inside of me, causing my muscles to clench tightly around you...my wrists are still held above me in your other hand and you watch my face while you push them in and out of me slowly. You laugh softly as you feel my back arch against you in pleasure and anticipation. As sore as I am from our play, the ache inside of me is back...I want to feel you thrusting deep inside of me again and my breath quickens at the thought.

When your hand moves from between my thighs and you press your fingers against my lips I have no desire to resist...I part them to allow you to slip your fingers inside my mouth and then suck them slowly, my tongue caressing you...tasting the proof of my passion as you watch. When they are clean you slide them out of my mouth and down my chin...leaving a trail of wetness down my arched neck and the hollow of my throat...my eyes close in pleasure and concentration when I feel you move to my breast and then caress my nipple...then suddenly they fly back open and I yelp in surprise and pain when you pinch me, hard enough so that I know it was no accident.

You tell me you asked me a question...do I want you inside of me? I do -- we both know I do – and I wonder what game you are up to as I whisper my reply.

"Yes. Yes, I want you again..."

You tell me you want me to do something for you and I smile slyly...I know what you like and a vision of your cock in my mouth flashes through my mind. I'm surprised, then, when I feel you reach back up to my wrists. Pulling them further apart, you gently close my hands over the thin metal bars of the head board. You smile at the confusion in my face and tell me to hold on to the bars, don't let go...and then tell me to spread my legs apart for you. I am embarrassed by the request, by your assumption of my compliance, but I do as you ask...though we've hinted at such games in our written exchanges this is a something we have yet to explore in reality. Your smile widens when I comply and you run your open hand down my side, along my hip and thigh...and then you tell me to spread them wider, as if they were tied to the bed posts.

The reference makes my face turn warm and I hide my expression beneath half-closed eyes, watching you -- trying to determine if you are serious. When I hesitate you reach down and slip your finger into the hollow between my legs again, dipping inside of me to coat it with my wetness before sliding it up to massage the spot just above my clit. My response is automatic; I feel my nipples harden and I moan in pleasure, drawing another smile from you.

When I begin to squirm softly from your ministrations the request comes again...open your legs for me, spread them further... this time I do it without hesitation, concentrating on the feel of your finger and the tingles of pleasure that are traveling over my clit and through my abdomen. I tighten my fists around the bars of the headboard, squeezing, the metal somehow reassuring against my palms and fingers. You hear me sigh softly...mmm...but just as I am beginning to lose myself in the sensation you stop. I feel you move away from my side, leaving a void between my legs and a cold space where your hard body had been stretched out beside me.

I turn my head toward the side of the bed where you stand, wondering at your intent, and you tell me to stay put, you'll be right back. Disappointed, I begin to close my legs and you reach over and place your hand on my calf. No, you tell me...stay just as you are. I am puzzled again, but I do as you ask. When you move off into the connecting bathroom I lay there, still. You are gone only a few minutes but I feel self-conscious maintaining this position, even as I am slightly excited by it – my hands and legs spread out on the bed of my own volition....waiting upon your return...

I flush as I recognize the items you carry with you when you come back to stand beside me. A small smooth vibrator, along with the little pink butterfly I keep in my travel kit. I wonder why I should be embarrassed, we both know I carry them...perhaps it is simply the wicked expression on your face as you stare down at me on the bed with them held in your hand. Then I notice the eye mask and I bite my lip. I realize it must have been stuffed down in my toiletry bag, forgotten...one of those things they give you on overnight flights. I never use half the items in those kits, but for some reason I never throw them away either – and I wonder if you think I kept this one on purpose.

Before I have time to explain you are back on the bed with me. Your mouth captures mine in a deep kiss, making me forget everything except the deliciousness of your lips and tongue on mine. I do so love to be kissed by you...your tongue inside of me immediately stirs my passion. When I move my hands from the bed frame to run them down your back. you pull away from me and I open my eyes in confusion. There is a stern look in your eyes as you admonish me. You tell me if I want what you have to offer, I need to do as you've told me...I mustn't forget again if I want you to fuck me. My desire is obvious as I obey with alacrity, my hands reaching back up to the metal frame, and in your face I read satisfaction at my quick response. This, then, is what you want...to know that I want you – that I will do whatever you tell me if it means having you inside of me...

You ask me if I want to taste you and I whisper – yes...yes, I want you in my mouth. Gathering several pillows, you gently lift my head and shoulders to place them underneath me, and as you place your legs on either side of my chest I stare up at you above me...I know you like this and I do so enjoy giving you pleasure.

With your hand guiding your cock you gently brush the head against my lips, teasing me...you are half-hard, and the velvety feel of your cock head against my sensitive lips makes them tingle. Lightly, my tongue slips out to taste you...to feel the texture of you...I feel you grow harder and I smile inwardly, knowing I have the power to excite you. You slide yourself between my lips, which close around you, sucking you gently... I see your eyes shut briefly at the sensation. You move slowly in and out of my mouth, my tongue sliding along the underside of your shaft as you move deeper with each stroke. I feel you grow harder yet...my eyes are locked on yours as you do this, reading the expression in them, seeking to draw your passion with the intensity of my gaze.

I long to shift my position...I know we would both be more comfortable if I could slip further down on the pillows...but then I remember your admonishment and stop myself before I let go of the headboard. And then, too, there is something about letting you service yourself with my mouth this way that appeals to me somehow. I remember an old question from our discussions: "Who is the master and who is the slave?" and I wonder...

When you pull out of my mouth I am disappointed, and my lips remain parted in invitation. You stroke your cock along them again and a drop of semen oozes out...you rub it against my upper lip and watch as my tongue reaches out to lick it off. I am hungry for the taste of you and I lift my head, trying to draw you back into inside of me, but you smile and pull away, leaning down to kiss me softly before covering my body with yours on the bed.

My disappointment at the loss of your cock in my mouth ebbs as you slide down my body, trailing kisses as you go – pausing to capture my breast with your mouth and sucking the nipple, gently biting until you hear me hiss with pleasure. Down my ribs and stomach then, your tongue circling my navel...I know where you're going – where I'd like you to go – and I grow wetter at the thought of it, before ever I feel your tongue begin probing me there...moving up to my clit, and then back down to the opening of my sex...the sensation of your tongue both soft and rough at the same time causing me to lift my hips toward you in supplication...more – I want more...

Though I hear the hum of the vibrator beforehand I am still shocked by the feel of it against the opening of my cunt. It is the small cylindrical one...just right for delicate work, I know – and apparently you do too, as you slide it up along my labia and then brush it lightly against my clit. My hands are gripping the bars tightly again as you tease me with it...moving it along me, stopping to rest it against various sensitive spots...then your tongue resumes its place at my clit, tasting and nibbling me as you press the vibrator slowly inside of me – first an inch, then out...the next time a little further...and then further still... I feel like screaming with the exquisite pleasure of it and you hear my gasps as I approach that point of no return...until your mouth leaves my clit to whisper in my ear...Do you like it? Do you want to cum? The vibrator still strokes me as you use one hand to slide it slowly in and out...as deep as it will go, but not nearly deep enough...you are frustrating me...teasing me...and I suddenly begin to realize that was your intent all along.

"Please," I whisper, "make love to me."

There is no verbal response from you as you continue to work the vibrator inside of me. My legs are spread wide, my hips moving in time to your strokes -- first fast, then slowing down...almost stopping when you see I am coming too close to the edge of the precipice. You watch the play of emotions on my face and I clench my eyes shut, shaking my head...no...don't slow down, don't stop! I couldn't let go of the bars now if I wanted to, and I know that I'll be unable to close my hands properly for hours after this is over. And still you continue to tease me – taking me to the edge of insanity and then pulling me back again, over and over...

You ask me again if I want to cum...if I need release...and the answer is torn from me – YES. Yes, I need it. Your voice is nearly a purr when you tell me that I will have to show you how much I want it, and I cry out as you withdraw the vibrator a final time and turn if off. Your palm caresses my body...stroking my stomach, sliding up my torso to cup my breast...up along the side of my neck, with your thumb brushing over the hollow of my throat, then caressing the line of my jaw before it moves up and you stroke your thumb back and forth along my trembling lower lip.

I have a surge of hope that you finally intend to release me, but it is dashed away when you slip the eye mask over my head, plunging my world into darkness. I am so tense with desire and anticipation that every nerve ending is tingling, and I jump when I feel your hands on my inner thighs. I can feel your breath against my pelvis and I think you intend to finish it this way, with your tongue nibbling at my clit or thrusting inside me...it would take so little to take me over the edge, I know...

Instead I feel you place something hard and cool and smooth against my sex, followed by something (elastic?) being tightened around each of my upper thighs. The butterfly vibrator, I realize -- and I am torn between laughing and crying as I realize you intend to torment me still further.

When you have it firmly seated against my clit and the opening of my cunt, I feel you move back up the bed and hear your voice whisper against my ear again...you tell me you know how close I am, but I mustn't come...not until you release me to do so...and you explain that you won't do that until I've shown you how badly I want you. You want to watch the evidence of my passion, to hear me cry out with it...if I do a good enough job of arousing you this way then you will reward me by fucking me as hard as I like. But if I don't please you, if I let go of the headboard or if I come before you tell me, you won't take me again...not today, not tomorrow...not again before we leave this place.

The thought of waiting still longer for release makes me whimper softly, but when you ask if I understand I tell you yes...I will do as you ask. The kiss you give me then is slow and thorough, your tongue filling my mouth, touching and stroking me and sucking my soul into a vortex of passion and want...and then you reach between my thighs and turn on the vibrator, and my hands spasm and clench on the metal bars again...and then I feel you withdraw slowly and slip away from me off of the bed.

Though I try, I cannot sense where you are...the mask over my eyes hampers my senses. All senses, that is, save the emptiness inside of me and the ache between my legs. The vibrator hums lightly there, teasing my clit, and as it flutters against me I think how aptly named it is. It makes me squirm against the mattress, trying to get it seated more directly...and then I think of you watching me do this and I stop...and let go again when I remember that this is what you wanted – to see my need, to know that I want you so much that I would allow you to watch me express my desire without reservation.

I wonder if you would truly refrain from making love to me again if I cum without you, but I am afraid to test you with it...so I squeeze my muscles tighter to keep from losing myself. I am whimpering now, mewling with the need for release...I think about how it will feel to have you inside of me, thrusting and pounding into me, your testicles slapping against me as you grind against my pelvis, burying yourself as deeply as you can...but the thought of it is driving me insane...I need you so badly... The vibration caused by the bit of pink plastic is more a torture than a relief as it buzzes softly between my legs. Just enough sensation to keep me from relaxing and losing my desire, but not nearly enough to make me cum...causing the nectar to flow from me freely, dripping down between the cheeks of my ass to pool on the coverlet below me. Where are you, I wonder, and what are you doing? The room is silent except for my soft noises and the buzz of the vibrator...I wonder what you are thinking as you watch me, and I blush at the picture I must be presenting, spread out on the bed and lost in my lust for you...

Across the room, on the other side of the bed from where I am facing, I hear your voice and I quickly turn my face toward it. You tell me you want to hear my passion as well...that I should not assume you are watching, but you will be listening for me. I am surprised at your words and wonder what they mean...would you leave me here to squirm and suffer alone? The thought is both humiliating and titillating at the same time – to open myself to you so blatantly only to realize you are not there... And yet I must somehow convince you to come to me, because I do not know how much longer I can last without satisfaction of some kind.

Endless minutes tick by and my need rises higher; I think of you watching me and it makes my movements grow wilder as I try to tempt you to come to me...but there is no indication of where you are or what you are doing...I am panting now, moaning as I writhe on the bed, my head whipping back and forth on the pillow. Where are you? I want you so much, I need you to release me. I don't think I can wait any longer...where are you?? I call out your name in frustration...it is both question and demand...'Please,' I beg, 'I need you.' When there is no response I yank on the headboard in frustration. I call your name louder. I tell you I want you...I need you now...I need to cum and I want you inside of me, and I am nearly sobbing with my desire for you. In the back of my mind I know I could simply let go of the headboard and end this, but I know I won't. I am yours...yours so deeply that I will do whatever you want, whatever you tell me. And then the realization of this hits me and I am unable to stop myself from cumming, from falling over the edge of oblivion as I cry out and shake and shudder with my release.

"Milord," I whimper, a tear sliding down the side of my face. "Milord..."

As I come down, satiated, I suddenly realize what I have done, and a shiver of remorse and apprehension travels through my body. I have disobeyed you by cumming, and I wonder what you will do when you find out...