The Truest Revenge
"Eric. I need to have a word with you," said my boss with a firm look on his face. "Have a seat." The frown which he normally wore was widened today. "There seems to be a problem."
"What sort of problem?"
"You."
I stared at him with shock, I was a perfect employee. "Me?" I asked in horror.
"Don't give me that bullshit, Eric. This is the tenth sexual harassment complaint I've received against you."
"Tenth? What are you talking about. I've never had any complaints against me." I responded while choking on the last few words.
"Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot. I know what you did, hiding these complaints in your desk drawer. You think you can fool me? YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT?" His voice scream out with rage. "These have their official dates stamped on them! You're such an idiot. You should've just thrown them all out. But now," He waved a bundle of papers at me, "You're fucked. F-U-C-K-E-D." He spelled it out for me.
"What are you talking about?" I was one of the nicest guys here at the office. "I have not even the slightest clue of what you're talking about."
"Mr. Leszer! Enough of your bullshit!" His bald head turned red. "You can't walk around fondling any woman that catches your eye!"
"What!?"
"DON'T WHAT ME!"
I remained silent as I stared at my fuming boss in shock.
He rubbed some gel into his hands and smoothed it over his bald head. This helped him deal with his anger management: the gel lowered the temperature of his skin. "Mr. Leszer," He took a deep breath to calm himself further. "Your employment has been terminated." A policeman appeared at the entrance to his office. "Now, if you'd exit promptly without fuss you could probably save yourself some more embarrassment."
I stared at him with astonishment as I took in the blow I had just received. I walked out his office full of fury and dismay. I had done nothing wrong.
My coworkers just stared at me while shaking their heads as I passed them. I was utterly ashamed. Every one of them thought I was a creepy pervert: someone to be avoided. I was out the door of the office's downtown building when I heard loud footsteps run up behind me.
"Wait up!"
I whirled around. It was Dave. He worked at the office too.
I remained silent while staring at my shoes in shame as he caught his breath.
"Eric, I have something important to tell you," he was still panting from his run. "I just overheard Susan and Emily talking. They're the ones who fucked you over! They filed the complaints to get their offices next to each other!"
"WHAT THE HELL!" I yelled out in fury. People turned to stare at me, but I couldn't give a shit. "WHY COULDN'T THEY JUST ASK ME TO SWITCH DAMN OFFICES WITH THEM!?"
"Yeah! I know!" He wiped the perspiration from his forehead. "Those two are nasty fucking bitches. They don't care about anyone man. Emily's boyfriend, Nethaniel, works in Complaints. She had him stamp false dates on them!"
I was too furious to respond. Why did they have to make me lose my job? Why didn't they just ask me to switch stupid offices...?
"So here comes the other part of why I came running after you. to tell you. Susan is going over to a sex parlor, or at least that's what they think it is, to celebrate. This way we get them to sign a whole bunch of legal shit before you step in there and do your shit. They're probably going there because they don't want any of their boyfriends to know anything."
Those two girls had men lining up to fuck with them. I never understood how though. Yeah, they were alright looking but they were such nasty people.
"Uch." I responded, "Those two are disgusting. They make me retch."
He chuckled nervously. "Go over there tonight! I have already paid the gigolo off to slip on GHB into their drinks. Then we ship them off to a private location." He paused to slap me on the back, "all we need is for you to step in there and take care of business. "
"Dave, this is a fuckin' awesome idea. But I can't. There's too much at stake here. I'll get a huge police report filed against me. I'll get myself in deeper trouble than I am now."
"Eric. You just lost your job. What can happen already-the plan is foolproof." He pulled out a yellow sticky note from his back pocket and handed me the paper, "they'll be at this address."
"Holy shit Dave! Why are you even doing this?"
"Eric, you don't realize how nasty Susan and Emily are. You're always nice to everyone so you don't notice how sneaky, knifing and powerful the two of them have become. It's as if anytime they don't like someone they just fire em'. This isn't just my idea. A lot of us at the office are sick of those two bitches. Something like this expensive. We've all chipped in for it." He wiped his forehead again. "I can't stand those two. I wish I could be the one doing this, but you know my wife, Jolie. She said there's no way she'd let me do it." He chuckled, "Yea. I asked her. But you? You're single and angry." He paused, "Remember Justin from Communications?"
"Oh yeah, he was the Canadian guy."
"Yeah. They had him fired for sexual harassment. He told Emily her dress was nice."
"Fuck!"
"Eric, do this for us. Put a mask on or some shit. Show up to the location. Give those two self-absorbed bitches the hell they deserve." He looked nervously at his watch. "I have to go."
He turned back and headed into the office's building.
"Fuck em' up good! Ya hear?" He called out before he disappeared.
My walk home was filled with anger and disgust. I would go to the address, I decided. Those two evil women won't step on me, hell no. I would show them.
Later that evening I changed into a black t-shirt and black jeans. I would throw these out after tonight, I decided that I didn't need to have anything traceable in my possession. I grabbed my old work boots and threw them onto my feet. I looked at the crumpled sticky note in my hand. These two witches would see the dark side of Eric. Tonight, all of their pride and snootiness will be reduced to subordination and desperation. "Emily and Susan," I said aloud, "tonight is the night you pay for what you've done."
I climbed into my Honda Civic and drove off to the location. I made a quick detour to Bob's Bagels and bought myself a medium sized iced-caramel-coffee along with a few beers. The extra caffeine gave me a rush. The beer would help me to lose my inhibition enough to punish those two. At last, I arrived. I made sure to park a few blocks away from the address. I would walk the rest. I sat there in my car guzzling away at my beverages: allowing myself to slip into a rage filled drunken state.
After a half hour, I mustered up the courage to climb out of my car and take the biggest piss. I felt like a racehorse. Once finished, I zipped up and headed to the address written on the sticky note.
The buildings I was walking beside were warehouses. I normally would've questioned if I was being hoaxed. But I was too drunk to think twice about the rusting metal doors that read the address which I came for.
"1371" read the grimy numbers atop the door. I tried to open it. It was locked. "Knock Loudly" read a note taped onto the door's window. I rapped the door harshly with my knuckles. A large man answered the door. He towered above me at with, what seemed like, at least 250 pounds of muscle. "Can I help you?" His voice was deep and commanding.
I handed him my paper tensely.