Dedicated to, and inspired by, the Goddess Nemesis
The full extent of my desolation and loneliness begins to dawn on me. To return to these familiar surroundings where I have given loyal service over many years knowing that the person I have served has gone forever has brought home the trauma of the events of these last days.
I am stood in the chamber of High Priestess Nemesis nestled at the base of the great pyramid of Rameses II. In the centre of the chamber is a large stone sacrificial table. The room is lit by four large candles mounted in gold candlesticks at each corner of the table which shed a hazy light across the chamber. If I strain my eyes I can make out the detail of the hieroglyphics painted onto the walls – texts from the ancient Book of the Dead, unintelligble to me, but mysteries understood by the High Priestess. Incantations, spells and funeral liturgy recited by her during her duties. I will no longer hear those recitations or the sound of her voice that can enchant and hypnotise, luring you into another world.
The High Priestess Nemesis is dead. There, I have said it. I have come to her chamber to pay homage to her and try to come to terms with my loss and grief.
She had served the great Pharoe Rameses III for over a decade now, attaining a position of great and deserved renown through her knowledge, intuition and mystical presence. She acted as an intermediary with the Gods and Goddesses who control our daily lives bringing insight and wisdom to those who sought her advice. She had presided over many funeral rites, especially relatives of the Pharoe and the most rich and powerful. Her reward for this service was to have this chamber of her own in the great pyramid to conduct the rites and duties of High Priestess.
As she had served the great rulers of Egypt, so I had served her. As her slave it was my role to tend to her every need. I did this by attending at her duties as High Priestess, being ordered to carry out some of the more mundane tasks that did not require her knowledge and skill. I helped dress her in her ceremonial robes and adorn her with the amulets and jewellery that she wore in her role as High Priestess. I attended her chamber during the rituals of mummification. I was also her personal slave and provided her with domestic service – preparing her food, getting ready her baths, bringing her ointments and perfumes. I was also used by her and provided her amusement by offering my body up to her as a plaything to be punished and abused as she desired.
I have returned to her chamber to mourn her passing. It was only two days ago that, as her loyal slave over many years, I was permitted to attend her funerary rites. I saw her prepared for her journey into the afterlife. Her once beautiful body wrapped in resin soaked linens. Her face masked. Her mummified body laid in an elaborately decorated sarcophagus, fitting for a Priestess of her status. Her coffin filled with her personal effects for use in the afterlife before being sealed. She looked as beautiful and mysterious in death as she had done in life.
As I sit in quiet contemplation recalling my years of service to her I am conscious of a stillness and chill in the air. At first I think it must be a draft coming through the door of the stone chamber but this cold has a mysterious and penetrating air. A chill that washes through me and touches my very soul. I am conscious of an indefinable presence in the chamber. As I look up from where I am sat I am confronted by a wondrous sight. There, stood before me, is the High Priestess Nemesis standing tall at the rear and secret entrance to her chamber. At first, I think this must be a dream or my imagination playing tricks on me – my desire to see her again making me hallucinate. But I realise it is more than this, that the mixed feelings of dread and elation that are overpowering me are the result of a real and physical presence.
She stands before me as stunnning and beautiful as she ever was in her lifetime but now with an other worldy presence and glow around her. Her face is alabaster white and hair as black as the dark winter nights on the Nile. Her eyes fix on to me and penetrate my very being. She is dressed in the robes in which she was entombed, a long flowing white gown embroidered with gold thread. Around her neck is an elaborately wrought chain embedded with emeralds. On her head is a headpiece in the shape of a scorpion, the claws reaching out above her - a symbol of her dominance, a sign that she should be treated with awe and respect.
I can barely speak but somehow words splutter out in an amazed and startled whisper.
"How can this be? I was present during the ritual of mummification. I saw you placed in your sarcophagus, was there when the lid was closed on your mummified body and the stone door closed on your tomb".
"My slave..." Her voice rings in my ears. To hear it again invokes an overwhelming desire to supplicate myself in front of her and worship her presence. "There are many mysteries in life and in death. The powers I have learnt in life through studying the rituals of our great Egyptian Gods and Goddesses have passed with me into the afterlife. I have learnt the skill of communicating with the Gods. I have stood in front of Ra, the Sun God, who gives power over all life and he has embraced me and welcomed me into his world. He has made me reborn, he has given me the power of eternal life and sent me back to the world that I have departed. I return, not as a High Priestess to the Pharoes of Egypt, but as a Goddess, elevated to a status beyond any mere mortal power. I am the Goddess Nemesis. My presence instills love and dread in equal measure".
At first I am too stunned to speak. I had always acknowedged her superiority, accepted her dominance over my weak male mind and body, realized that she had a mystery and presence that would always captiviate me. But her appearance in front of me now, reborn as a Goddess, was so completely overwhelming that I knew that all I could do was worship her unreservedly.
"Goddess, I have served you in life and now my only desire is to give myself up to you in death" I say.
"This is as it should be. There is a role for those who can prove themselves truly worthy and are willing to commit themselves to me".
"This is what I want. I am prepared to give my mind, body and soul to you, the Goddess Nemesis" I reply.
"Be careful what you wish, slave. Such an offer should not be lightly given. Nor can it be lightly received. It requires trials and tests to see who is truly worthy to be allowed in my presence. There must be pain and suffering and complete abandonement to my will and purpose. The demands that I make on you will be absolute and irrevocable. In the afterlife I am allowed one personal slave to tend to my needs. I have chosen you as a fit initiate to join me. But, let me make this quite clear so you have no illusions over what is being offered to you. This is an eternity of servitude to me, the Goddess Nemesis. If you make the decision to take this path. If you satisfy me. If you pass through all of the rituals that are necessary. Then, there will be no turning back – you will be mine forever. You will serve me in the afterlife. This path should not be taken lightly. A Goddess can be demanding and cruel. But the rewards are great – to give service so complete, so absolute can bring with it the ectasy and fulfillment of servitude to a Goddess."
"Goddess, I understand what is being offered to me. All of us must pass into the afterlife at some time – what a privelege it must be to be offered the chance to serve a Goddess there. I am ready to undertake whatever is necessary to serve you".
Goddess replies, "This is good, I do not think that you will regret your decision to follow me. Now you must be prepared for you initiation".
Goddess Nemesis steps towards me, she reaches out and loosens the cord around my robe, which drops silently to the floor leaving me naked before her. She gestures for me to climb onto the stone sacrificial table in the centre of the chamber where I lay to await my fate.
She moves to shelves at the edge of the chamber to collect some objects and then stands at the end of the table.
"Your initiation begins now slave". She works ointment into her fingers and rubs it around my anus, gradually penetrating her fingers into me, at first gently moving them around inside me and then with a more vigorous movement before withdrawing her fingers. I gasp at the sensations. Goddess has a wry smile on her lips. "This is only the beginning, you have much further to go in your journey, more pain, suffering and humiliation that you must endure before you can be received into my world" she says. Then she produces a wooden object carved into the shape of a crocodile, one of the many creatures from the natural world used to represent the Egyptian deities. Goddess holds the object over my anus. I can see the grinning carved crocodile teeth before she eases the object into my hole and pushes it in. I can feel myself being penetrated and filled, the initial pain and shock as the crocodile figure is inserted and then my anal passage stretched to take the the sacrificial object inside me.
Goddess leans over me and whispers "However much you suffer, everything I do to you is for your good – you must realise that. This is a sacred object designed to help you and protect you."
Goddess turns away and goes to collect a golden chalice from the shelf. I recognise the chalice from rituals peformed by the Goddess at which I have been present. It is the cup used by her to gather the blood of victims for sacrifices to the Goddesses. From where I lay on the stone table I can only see her back but I can see her crouch down and empty her waters into the chalice. I can hear the sound of her golden wine gushing into the chalice. She turns around, moves forward and stands over me holding the chalice out in front of her. She silently gestures for me to sit up and presses the golden vessel that has held the blood of others against my lips. I drink the warm golden fluid eagerly taking down more as Goddess tips the chalice forward. I have tasted the Goddess's golden wine before as it has been offered to me as High Priestess but never has it tasted so wondrous as today. I feel a mixture of great privelege of being allowed to partake of such a precious fluid but also deep humiliation – that I am only fit to drink the waste product from her body. Soon I have drunk the whole golden chalice of sweet tasting golden wine and feel the glow of Goddess's fluid penetrate me.
"This is more than just urine that you have been offered. This is the golden elixir of a Goddess. It is imbued with magical qualities – elements that you will need for the next stage of the journey. Without this liquid it will be impossible for you to progress to the next stage".
