18

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Hesitant

"I'd like to put a collar on you until you leave for work Monday morning. Will you consent to that?"

My forehead wrinkled in confusion. "You've put a collar on me before without asking."

"That was to serve a purpose for a short period of time. To restrain you. Asking for your consent wouldn't have been appropriate then. This is a bit different. I'm asking you to submit to me until Monday morning."

The thoughts in my mind raced around in meaningless circles. If he would've just done it, I would've gone along with it. But making a fuss over it like he was, I couldn't help but feel that I was agreeing to do something I might regret. I froze and held my breath.

"Ask me questions if you're not sure."

I released the air I was holding in my lungs. "What are you going to do to me?"

Ethan glanced around the interior of the car and out the window into his garage. It was clear that he wasn't going to answer my question directly. "You don't really want me to tell you. You're not the kind of person who reads the last chapter of a good suspense novel first just to find out how it ends. You like to immerse yourself in the story one chapter at a time and ride each wave without knowing exactly how it's going to fall. Ask me another question."

A couple of questions came to mind. I wanted to ask if he was going to hurt me, but decided that there were a dozen ways he could answer that question that would leave me with no more clues as to what he had planned. Anyway, we'd sort of covered that topic. Several times.

My mind just kept going back to one thing. I couldn't figure out what the importance of collaring me was to him.

"How is this different than last weekend? Or any other time that we've played."

Ethan smiled. "How is being engaged different than being married?"

It's not, really ... except ...

"You can't just walk away from marriage."

"Right."

"By doing this I'm agreeing to ...

what?

To do whatever you want until Monday morning?"

"Yes. Most definitely."

I got the impression there was more than just that. "What else?"

"You won't be able to leave the house. There will be rules. Consequences. Rewards. It'll be a scene that goes on for so long you're convinced it's real."

"But only until Monday morning?"

"That's correct. Monday morning I remove the collar and you go to work as usual."

The tiny smile on his lips made me suspicious. I had a feeling that there would be nothing usual about it. I squirmed to still the escalating throbbing between my thighs. There was no way my body would let me refuse his proposal. I nodded my assent.

"Good. You remember how respectful Mimi was to John when they started their scene?" I nodded. "That's how I want you to be. You don't need to call me Sir or anything like that. I just want you to be respectful at all times."

I nodded. "Okay."

"For the duration of this scene, there will be no questions unless I specify otherwise. I'd really like for us to

feel

our way through the next two days and see how it goes. We've already spent a lot of time talking. I don't think we're going to get any closer to trusting each other at this point without just taking the plunge and doing it.

"That doesn't mean silence, though. I want to have conversations, just not about the scene, itself or the lifestyle. And you should tell me when you're uncomfortable. Hell, you can protest doing something if you do it nice enough. I probably won't change my mind, but hey, you can give it a shot. In the end, though what I really want you to do at all times is try."

I waited for him to finish the sentence. After a few seconds of silence I had to ask. "Try

what?

"

"To complete every task I ask of you. To give it your best effort even if you're not sure. And most of all, try to let go of all those inner fears you have. While you're wearing that collar, all choices are mine. Just go with it. You're a natural."

"I'll try, Ethan. I promise."

"Do you want me to call you Kimber?"

I shook my head. "Not unless you want to call me that."

"That's a very pleasing answer, Grace. That's the sort of behavior I'm looking for. Do you have any questions for me?"

"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do."

"Whenever you're not sure, just sit or stand quietly near me. But I doubt once we get started that there'll be a time when you don't know exactly what I expect of you. Right now I'm going into the house. I expect you to take off all your clothes and leave them here. Come find me and wait. I'll most likely be in the bedroom."

Ethan didn't pause to ask me if I understood or to check my reaction to his startling request. Without hesitation, he reached for the door handle and slid out of the car. He had disappeared into the house before I had moved a muscle.

I knew that after being at John and Melissa's house and watching the other couples play that he would want to come home and engage in some sort of BDSM play. The serious conversation we had on our ride home had gotten my mind off it, though, so I hadn't really thought about what we might do. I didn't have any expectations, I didn't think.

If I did, they were nothing like this.

I was still confused about what he was expecting from me.

Or maybe it's not that I don't know what he expects of me, it's that I don't know what he expects to accomplish. Is this just play? Or is he trying to test the waters with me?

It was a fair question.

I pulled the door handle and pressed my shoulder against the car door until it started to swing open. I slipped my shoes off before swinging my feet to the cold concrete floor. I winced when they touched. It was not only cold, but dirty.

I removed my blouse and bra before standing up, then quickly slipped my skirt and panties down to my calves and stepped out of them. I tossed them onto the passenger seat and closed the car door.

The garage was dark and quiet. The only light was coming through the side window from the street lamp the next block over. It was almost eerie. Everything about being naked in his garage felt strange. And the fact that I was headed into his house to serve him felt even weirder.

What in the hell am I doing?

But my feet ignored the voice in my head and carried me over the threshold and right to the doorway of his bedroom.

Ethan's back was to me but he must've heard me approach because he simply pointed to the bed. "Sit here."

I padded to the bed and lowered my bare bottom onto the comforter. A tiny chill went through me as if I were sitting on ice rather than the cool fabric. Ethan didn't notice. He was rifling through the drawer, seemingly looking for something in particular. To the best of my knowledge, he hadn't even so much as glanced at me.

I felt uncomfortable. I shifted in place trying to find a suitable position for my hands and feet. I was naked. In every sense of the word. Utterly vulnerable and filled with uncertainty. I struggled to contain the mounting anxiety. It was urging me to run.

"Ethan?"

"Yes, Grace?"

"I'm scared."

Ethan turned toward me and smiled. He lifted the collar off the pillow and then tilted my chin up so he could gently kiss me on the lips. "This will make you feel better. Lift your hair up off your neck for me."

I scooped my hair up with trembling fingers and moist palms and held the pile atop my crown as he encased my neck in leather. There was no ceremony to it but I couldn't help but feel that it was a symbol of something.

I relaxed my shoulders and elongated my neck, lengthening my spine in a purely feminine gesture as he was buckling the collar in place. I could feel myself starting to slip into the role of submissive even before he finished. It was amazing how one simple prop could do that to me.

"Mmm...beautiful." Ethan palmed my breast for a brief moment before reaching for the wrist cuffs.

A huff escaped my lips before I could stop it. His praise and his touch were like beacons guiding me through the sea of uncertainty. I can't describe how incredibly comforting they were.

He attached both wrist and ankle cuffs on me and I completed my mental transformation to the role I was to take for the next two days. Or so I thought, anyway.

"Is that better?"

I nodded. I knew he was only asking to make a point. He was too observant to miss the change in me.

"I'm hungry."

Ethan turned on his heel toward the bedroom doorway. He didn't pull me with a leash or give me instructions, but I could feel the pull as strongly as if he did. I followed him to the kitchen.

Ethan pulled a bag of Doritos from the cupboard, dropped it onto the counter and muscled the container open in a chorus of squeaks and crinkles that split the quiet kitchen in two. He offered the open bag to me and I politely refused. Without hesitation he shoved his hand into the sack and emerged with a handful, tossing the bag back onto the countertop. He swiveled to lean against the counter as he plucked one chip at a time from the stash he held in his palm. We stood there for several long moments with only the sound of his crunching between us.

I relaxed and leaned over to rest my elbows on the countertop. Ethan's crunching noises lulled me into a mindless stupor. I fiddled with my wrist cuffs, twirling the silver hoops around and around in their bindings with no single lucid thought in my conscious brain until out of nowhere a question popped into my head.

"Do all D/s or M/s relationships include whipping?"

"No questions about the lifestyle right now."

I straightened upright with wide eyes. I realized that I'd broken the only rule he'd given me. "I forgot. I'm sorry."

Ethan grinned and slid another chip between his lips. A little deviousness lifted the corners of his eyes as he openly studied my appearance. It was the first time he'd really looked at me since he'd placed the collar and cuffs on me. I glanced down to his jeans at the unmistakable evidence of his arousal. There was no question that even though he hadn't been looking at my nakedness, touching me, or talking about sex, he'd been obviously thinking about it. A heated flush crawled over my skin and warmed me.

Ethan's grin widened to a smile. He stepped toward me, holding a chip up toward my mouth.

"Open."

My lips parted the instant he spoke, accepting the gift he offered me. He paused with it partly in my mouth and I bit down to break it in pieces. He then fed me the remainder of the triangular chip.

"One more."

My jaw dropped, opening my mouth like a little bird waiting to be fed. Ethan inserted a partial chip and intently watched as I chewed and worked it over my tongue until it was ready to swallow. He leaned toward me and held my chin steady as he licked the crumbs from the corners of my mouth.

It was such a simple thing, and yet so erotic. My lips parted, inviting his tongue inside but he declined my offer. It didn't feel like a refusal, more like that it just wasn't what he had planned at the moment. Ethan smiled and caressed my bottom lip with his thumb. My own tongue slithered out to tease the tip of it and was treated with the salty remnants there.

Ethan's eyebrow raised. He slipped his thumb between my lips and I swirled my tongue around it, licking off any remaining trace of nacho saltiness. Then Ethan pushed it as far as he could inside my mouth. My lips instinctively closed around the base of his thumb and my tongue pressed his digit against the roof of my mouth to gently suck on it. With a gentle rhythm, Ethan eased his thumb out and back into my mouth repeatedly.

"I love the way this mouth feels."

Ethan's tone and expression revealed his amusement. He made it almost sound as if the mouth he was fucking with his thumb wasn't attached to a person; It was a separate thing.

"I could fuck it for hours and never grow tired of it."

Just then he removed his thumb and took a step backward. He grasped my upper arms and positioned my back to the counter.

"Can you lift yourself up onto the counter?"

I nodded and gripped the edge of the countertop to hoist my butt up onto it. It was less than graceful but Ethan didn't seem to notice. His pupils were dilated to black and he was licking his lips like a ravenous dog. His focus was on something else entirely.

Ethan brushed my hands off of my thighs. "Lean back and prop your elbows up onto that bar behind you." He parted my thighs to move closer. "Keep your hands out of the way or I'll restrain them."

I could feel his whole demeanor changing. He moved and spoke with a single-minded purpose. I had half a mind to use my safeword just to see if it worked to snap him out of the zone he appeared to have entered, but I quickly dismissed that idea. I was fairly certain he would change his course and I also thought it would knock us back a few steps in the amount of trust that we'd built between us. Not taking the use of a safeword seriously wasn't in my best interest.

Ethan's palms smoothed the skin of my upper thighs as he raked over my nude body with his eyes. That single act created gooseflesh across every inch of my skin. I could feel my nipples hardening and my nether lips swelling and parting between my splayed thighs.

"Are you horny, baby?"

I nodded and gulped for air. I hadn't even realized that I'd been holding my breath.

"I'm hungry for cunt. I plan to eat your pussy until I've had my fill."

His gruff voice sent a fresh wave of shivers down my spine. My entire body began to tremble in anticipation. In that moment, in that tone of voice, he could've told me he was going to do something vile to me and it would've excited me. There was just something so arousing about seeing him like that.

Ethan's hands slid beneath my thighs, gripping the flesh just above the crook of my knee. In a single swift motion he lifted my legs and wrenched my thighs open wide. I gripped the bar behind me to steady my upper torso.

Before I could even begin to worry about what was coming next, his mouth was on my sex. His tongue delved forcefully through my folds and deep inside. Ethan's entire face was buried in my flesh in a way that made me wonder how he was able to breathe. But I wasn't able to hold that thought for long. Or any thought, for that matter.

I let my head drop backward as my eyelids sealed shut. Every ounce of my focus was on his lips and tongue. After his initial ravenous assault, he slowed his movements to a languorous dance that worked its way from the bottom of my slit very methodically up to my clitoral hood. Circling. Lapping.

Occasionally he'd suck and nip at my flesh making a lewd slurping sound that just emphasized how wet I'd become. Surprisingly, I didn't care. I had no control over it and besides, it was what he wanted. He reminded me of that with every grunt and groan he made as he sucked my juices down his throat.

His languid tongue grew stiffer and his activity became more vigorous. He began focusing his attention on the area around my clitoris. I held my breath as his tongue and lips worried my center mercilessly. The sensation was amazing, like riding over the crest of a hill just as the roller coaster is about to fall out from beneath you. Exquisite.

Ethan suspended me there for what felt like eternity. Just as my breathing would hitch in expectation of release, he'd change what he was doing. Once. Twice. It got so I could envision my climax coming to greet me and then backing up just as I was reaching for it, much like a dream.

After this happened a few times I opened my eyes and looked down at him. I expected to see a tired and frustrated face. One look at his eyes revealed the truth. He was playing me; keeping me on the edge of release for his own amusement.

I heaved a sigh that was mixed with a deep, frustrating moan. "Oh, please Ethan. Please."

I should've known that a couple of words wouldn't be enough to change his course. It became clear to me what he wanted.

"Please make me come. Please, Ethan. I'm begging you."

The glimmer in his eye told me I'd done the right thing. His lips closed around my clitoral hood as he sucked the bundle of nerves into his mouth. His tongue flicked forcefully over the sensitive tip in a steady rhythm that lifted me to an unbelievable crescendo. My pelvis rocked in time with his ministrations. I could feel myself unraveling a moment before the final explosion between my thighs. I clawed the bar top and called out as all the sensations converged on that tiny spot at once.

I was spewing nonsensical iterations. A series of monosyllabic words that were still hanging in the air moments after my orgasm was over. It tickled me for some reason. Or something did, I'm not sure what it was. I suddenly found myself unable to stifle a giggle.

Ethan lifted his head in curiosity. He had every right to be alarmed and this fact just made me laugh harder. Until tears were actually streaming down my face.

"I'm glad you find this amusing."

I shook my head and waved my hand but was unable to say a word through the sudden fit of laughter. I had no explanation for my behavior, but I knew I wasn't laughing at him. Because what had just happened was nothing short of mind-blowing.

As I peered down at his quizzical face through joyful tears, another feeling swept over me.

I love this man.

In that moment, as he patiently waited for me to gather my composure, I realized that I was completely and totally in love with Ethan. Everything about him; the good and the bad. Because they all made up this perfect, controlling, patient, stubborn man that at that very moment surely thought I'd lost my mind.

In a heartbeat, my behavior changed from laughter to weeping.

Ethan pulled my head to his shoulder and wrapped his arms around me. It only lasted for a few seconds, leaving me panting with my cheek pressed firmly against his shoulder.

"Are you finished?"

I nodded and sniffled, then lifted my finger to the tip of my nose to catch the droplet that was about to fall on his shoulder.

Ethan reached over and yanked a paper towel from the roll. I tried to take it from him but he swiftly tugged it from my reach. Instead he held my wrist and dried my fingertip and then my cheeks and nose.

"That was quite an outburst."

"I'm sorry..."

"Stop." My eyes widened at his interruption. "I don't want you to apologize to me for that. It was spontaneous and unguarded. Two things that I'd love to see more of from you. I hate that you feel the need to apologize for the very thing I love most about you."

I could feel the tears threatening to come again.

He almost said it. God, if he could just love me back...

I sighed, delivering a tiny whimper with it. Ethan searched my eyes for a sign of what was wrong. First one, then the other; his eyes darting back and forth between mine. He sucked in a breath to say something and then changed his mind. My body began to tremble. I couldn't tell if it was because I was cold, or because I was afraid of the intimacy we were sharing.

"Wrap your legs around my back. I'm going to get you warm."

Ethan carried me to his bed and placed me on my back, staying firmly on top of me. He yanked the comforter over his back. Before it came fully to rest on my lower legs which were still firmly clasped behind his back, his lips were on mine.

My own tangy scent and flavor assaulted my senses. Something about it awoke my passion. Or maybe it was the way his tongue was dancing with mine, or the general way he smelled. It could have been his rough jeans grinding against my bare sex, or the cotton fabric of his shirt as it brushed against my hard nipples.