I met Amanda at the local village pub in one of those natural casual ways that happen when you've finally given up trying to pick up women and just accepted that you are going to be single for the rest of your life.
I was living alone in the west country in a cottage on the coast. I had a small regular income that allowed me to indulge my pretensions of becoming a serious writer. I adored the quiet of the country, the semi-isolation - my nearest neighbour was 100 metres away and as we were off the main road, there was no traffic.
While I enjoyed my own company, I also enjoyed spending the occasional evening in the local village pub. The folk were friendly enough, and there were enough immigrants from the big cities one way or another that there wasn't that closed community hostility that sometimes poisons the idyllic life in a village.
So there I was one Friday evening in the Horse's Head. There was a reasonable crowd, busy without being overwhelming. And there was no loud music playing. Heavens above! You could actually hear yourself talk!
I was standing at the bar, sipping on a pint, engaging in casual conversation with several bar acquaintances in desultory sort of way. Suddenly a shriek erupted in one the booths. It was swiftly followed by a tirade of abuse. The culprit was a young woman and the recipient was a stunned man who seemed incapable of responding to the volley of abuse. In their mid twenties, I assumed that they were a couple. She stormed out of the pub followed by the rather embarrassed young man who was clearly trying to mollify her.
"You know what his problem is?" a female voice opined from beside me, "He should be chasing her out the door to give her backside a good tanning, not to appease her wounded pride!"
I turned to look at the speaker. She was a reasonably attractive woman, though in my experience, most women can look attractive if they take the trouble to do so and keep themselves in shape. There you are, now you know I'm an unrepentant chauvinist! Auburn hair down to her shoulders, a pleasant summer dress, hazel eyes. I guessed her to be in her late 30s, but I'm notoriously inept at judging a woman's age.
"Too right!" I responded looking my new interlocutor. "Any woman tried that on with me and she wouldn't sit comfortably for quite a while." Well I'd had a couple of points and apart from the one jarring episode we'd just witnessed, the mood was one that encouraged a degree of plain speaking.
The smile I got back almost knocked me off my feet. It was definitely a case of switching on the lights.
"I'm Amanda Karlson" still smiling as she introduced herself. "But my friends call me Mandy." It's one of those funny things, but though we have since become the most intimate of friends, I never really cottoned on to calling her Mandy. To me she will always be Amanda. Somehow that gesture of formality was so apt for our relationship.
"Robert, Robert Johnson. I'm so pleased to meet you." I never was a Bob or Bobby, never will be. Can't help myself really, just have to be all stiff and formal. Probably that British diffidence that everyone else mistakes for arrogance. However, there was certainly good cause for stiffness in a certain quarter in chatting to this mature but rather sexy woman. The chemistry certainly seemed to be there, if I'm any judge - which of course I'm not, I'm bloody hopeless at understanding women and the subtleties of communication, but fortunately for me, it was there anyway.
By mutual agreement I bought another round and we moved to a booth where we could talk with a little more privacy. After a few harmless pleasantries I chanced my arm further and raised again my favourite topic - the chastisement of the female figure, with emphasis on the bottom.
"It sounds as though you were talking from experience when you suggested he give her a good hiding? So who's warming your bum at the moment?"
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not the sort of chap to come out with a line like that in normal circumstances, but remember I'd had a couple of points to loosen the chains of inhibition and anyway, she'd raised the issue in the first place!
And you will of course realise that Amanda, being your normal female, had already figured out all the social related things like:
a) I wasn't married - no wedding ring or the lack of sun-tan where one should have been if I was playing truant
b) I didn't have a live in girl-friend - clothing not quite properly ironed, lacking that contented three square home cooked meals look
c) Wasn't gay - God knows how you can tell, cause I bloody can't
d) Clearly interested in succeeding in one of the most difficult things any girl can undertake - how to get herself soundly thrashed and fucked (sorry - engage in intimacy) without scaring the pants of the guy by asking for it.
So she didn't play coy in answering. No. For once in my life I got a straight answer from a woman.
"Well no-one actually, more's the pity. How about you. Are you laying a few tramlines across some lucky girl's sit-upon."
All I can say is - thank God for beer! I'd usually be tongue tied and gibbering by now. Honestly if a relative stranger came up to you and basically asked you to thrash her bum, how would you react? But this time, I was suave, I was sophisticated, well actually about half cut, but I thought I was suave and she didn't run off so it amounts to just about the same thing in my book.
"I happen to be between engagements," not a bad way of saying that I hadn't beaten a girl in many months. Come to that, it had been a jolly long time since I'd even had a girl's knickers down at all. "Would you care to adjourn to my place where we can discuss this in more privacy and perhaps examine the seat of the problem?"
To cut the story short - and get to the good bits, we did indeed move to my place. I think my erection had become petrified and obvious was not the word as we entered the house. She put her hand to the front of my trousers and smiled that smile again.
"Been a while Robert?"
"Nice girls don't fondle a man until they've been given permission. That makes you a naughty girl, and naughty girls have their bottoms bared and smacked. Smacked hard." I said with mock severity.
"Ooh, I think I'd rather like that." She replied, giving my tent a good squeeze that sent jolts of lightening through me. "But perhaps I should deal with this first, otherwise you might wet your trousers. I've got very wet knickers and I know how uncomfortable it can be unless you can get them off quickly.
By this time, I think I had definitely become a babbling idiot. Have you ever noticed how juvenile conversation becomes when sex is involved. Two grown adults who would otherwise discuss any range of issues in a mature and intellectual manner just throw all of that culture and maturity away and revert to the most embarrassing childish tripe.
There is no question that on this first meeting, Amanda took control. She led the way in almost everything. Even when I started to beat her, she had engineered the situation to ensure that things proceeded smoothly. Since our relationship has developed, this is no longer the case. It is I who now call the shots ... except when she wishes to achieve a certain outcome and then, on looking back, I will be forced to recognise that she, in her subtle, gentle way, has led me again. In such situations it is almost always that she wants me to treat her more harshly, to be more cruel, to be more disgusting and depraved, to go beyond my own standards of where to draw the line. It took some while for this understanding to arise.
Thus it was that I soon discovered how good, no not good, fantastic! Amanda was at "la pipe" as our French colleagues say. She licked and sucked on my cock, stripping both me and herself at the same time (I still marvel at how women can deal with bras one handed). It didn't take very long for me to fill her mouth. And, heaven be praised, she swallowed my spunk to the last drop, except for a small amount that she dribbled out of her mouth. A very, very, erotic trick that all the girls in porn movies know how to do. Seeing it in real life was a thousand times more of a turn on I promise you. And then she licked it up again. Wow is the only expression that goes close. Just plain WOW.