Bright moonbeams pierced the windows and spilled across the carpet, splashing up over the bed. Donald slowly woke up and at first thought they'd left a lamp on then realized it was the full moon's incandescence that filled the room. He looked over at his small beauty, curled in a fetal position mere inches away. She was not one to touch while sleeping but still liked to be close to his warmth. He listened to her soft breathing and reached out to lightly stroke her hair. He grinned, hearing her in his mind reminding him of the golden rule but he couldn't help himself. He hadn't felt this happy in such a long time and needed to touch her, even if in secret.
Saundra stirred and moaned. She rolled over onto her back and whimpered a soft "no" in her dream. Her arm suddenly came up to cover her face and she moaned again. It was such a plaintive sound that Donald considered waking her wanting to banish what saddened her in her sleep. She gasped and her eyes flew open as she pulled away from him. "Please, no!" she cried out.
"Shhhh...it's ok baby. Come here, it was only a dream," he cooed to her and reached out for her. It surprised him that she flinched at his touch and he pulled his hand away.
"Oh," she sighed then moved closer to Donald and let him put his arms around her. "Sorry, sometimes I have nightmares." He could feel her trembling and realized she was crying.
"Saundra, you're safe with me. Don't cry." He kissed her forehead and tightly held her. "What were you dreaming? Do you feel like talking about it?"
"No, just hold me," she whispered. She nuzzled her face against his neck, feeling his warmth, smelling him. She had been dreaming about the night she had left Martin. But in her dream she was in Donald's office and Martin was there and it was just as it had been in their bedroom so many years before. She was confused and trying to escape. She could hear Donald on the other side of the locked office door, pounding and shouting. Just as Martin raised his hand to hit her she woke up and in her dazed mind was surprised to find herself in bed with Donald. However, as her senses quickly cleared all she wanted was to feel his arms around her.
"It's all right sweetheart. Try to sleep. We can talk in the morning if you feel up to it. You know you can talk to me about anything. I'm here for you," he spoke softly, lovingly. His mind raced with what could possibly be so troublesome for his sweet Saundra. After several moments she rolled to her side, with her back to him and he rested his hand on her hip and as they lay quietly sleep slowly overcame him.
Now that she was awake she was afraid to go back to sleep. The disturbing image still loomed in her mind. She felt frustrated that she was allowing the whole mess affect her so strongly, even to intrude in her sleep. After several minutes she heard the subtle change in Donald's breathing and knew he had fallen back to sleep. She eased herself out of bed so as not to waken him and went to the kitchen. There was a large bay window in the breakfast nook with a softly padded bench upon which she settled. Pulling her legs up she rested her chin on her knees and wrapped her arms around her shins. She gazed out at the small backyard and tried to relax. The leaves on the trees looked shiny in the moonlight, casting mottled shadows on the lawn. Saundra loved the wee hours of the morning. It was so quiet, the whole world seemingly asleep. She used to stay up late and read which she hadn't done in a long time and missed doing so. But then, her thoughts wandered to what it would be like when she finally laid eyes on Martin again and couldn't help thinking of the five years she'd spent with him.
*********** Martin's strict Catholic parents had strong opinions regarding chastity and fidelity and had infused those beliefs in their children as well. Although when his older brother had come back from serving in the Navy he introduced Martin to the seamier side of sex. Martin continuously fought an ongoing battle as to whether he was sinning to be so turned on by nasty women, their dirty pictures, and the kinky acts they participated in. What his brother called artfully shot photographs Martin called disgusting pornography, degrading women in sinful ways. Yet he couldn't help be fascinated in a guilty way while his brother tried to convince him enjoying sex was natural. He told Martin as long as it was consensual and no physical or mental damage was done, anyone should do whatever they enjoyed.
Martin was drawn to women but tended to view them as his father had. Women were to be chaste and honorable, serve and submit to men, bear children and take care of the household. He never saw affection between his parents. But sometimes late at night he would hear his father's harsh tone of voice from behind his parent's closed bedroom door followed by his mother's plaintive mewling as if in fear or shame of something. Martin would sometimes hear what sounded like someone being slapped or smacked and his mother weeping, then the sounds of grunts and moans from his father. Martin thought this was normal until he read a romance novel his mother had left out. He found the plot ridiculous but he couldn't help being turned on by the love scenes, some of which were extremely descriptive. In the back of his mind he compared the acts in the book to what he heard from his parent's room and suddenly felt sorry for his mother. While she probably desired this romantic, hot, love all she was treated to be being beaten and fucked. He resolved to treat women with the utmost respect.
When he'd first met Saundra he'd been charming and kind. They were in college with two years to go before graduation. It wasn't until their fourth date that he kissed her and even then it had been a gentle kiss on her cheek. He admired her sweet, caring nature. She was on the quiet side which suited him well. She was articulate and did well in her studies. He liked intelligent women and scorned the vapid co-eds he observed around the campus. The socialites did nothing for him as he felt they were so flippant and silly. But his Saundra was a class act and behaved in a manner he believed appropriate for a decent young woman.
Saundra thought his shyness was endearing. Martin was romantic in a gentlemanly way. She relished it as a refreshing change from the hollow just-want-to-fuck-and-fly kind of dates she'd had in recent months. It seemed he always kept her waiting for the first touch, for the first kiss, even to get to know his thoughts and feelings. While his slow pace puzzled her it kept her in a state of anticipation that was highly intriguing. Over the passing months he revealed a little more about himself, his family, memories of his youth. She had thought it was almost like the story of Scheherazade, being kept in suspense as to what would happen or be revealed on the next date, and the next. Saundra slowly fell in love with him. She sadly reflected that he and never told her he loved her. When he asked her to marry him he'd used the words "affectionately fond" avoiding the "L" word. But she took that to mean that he did love her and rationalized that he merely had difficulty expressing his deepest feelings about love.
It wasn't until their wedding night that he finally made love to her. He was embarrassed by his clumsiness. Her calm composure made him feel all the more nervous and he wondered how she didn't show any anxiety in their physical union. He was grateful for her patience but his pride left him feeling frustrated. Ultimately, it had ended up being a quick and unsatisfying experience. In the morning when she had come out of the shower to dress she found him standing by the bed with the covers thrown back staring at the sheet. He looked up at her with a strange look of disappointment and anger. He pointed to the bed and said there was no blood on the sheet and asked her about her virginity. Saundra had blushed and admitted that she was not a virgin. It had not surprised her when he admitted he came to their wedding bed a virgin. But she had suddenly felt ashamed as he strode past her without a word and left the hotel room. Although she did not know it, that was the moment he'd lost respect for his bride. He was angry that he had assumed that this sweet and gentle woman was untouched. Martin felt betrayed in his own twisted way. In his mind he had wasted himself on used goods.
When he finally returned to their room late that night he found her asleep on the couch. He gazed at her feeling sad and angry. How could his lovely, sweet natured Saundra have given away her precious innocence out of wedlock? He wondered if she had been pressured or forced to give in or if she had merely been too weak to resist fulfilling some wanton lust. While she looked so lovely and sweet lying there fast asleep, he couldn't help the shiver of disgust that ran through him as he thought of another man's cock having been inside her. He felt cheated and wondered if he could ever feel comfortable touching her again knowing she'd been with someone else before him.
During the first year of their marriage their relationship settled into a courteous co-habitation. Martin found a job with a fairly prestigious law firm and soon became absorbed in rising within the ranks. For nearly three years they lived two lives, the endearing one that his associates saw, and the lonely existence they lived within their own household. He rarely had any energy or interest in being with his wife.
However, things changed at the firm's Christmas party during their third year of marriage. Several men had eyed Saundra and, as usual, Martin had watched in disgust. He always wondered how many men she'd been with before him and had convinced himself that she'd probably like to be with these men, too. As she turned to speak to one of his more charming associates Martin suddenly went pale realizing his cock was beginning to stiffen. It had been quite some time since they had last had sex. He couldn't stop the images of her being used by the man with whom she was talking. Martin could clearly picture Saundra bound hand and foot and this man fucking her mouth, just like the pictures of sluts his brother had shown him so many years ago.
He recalled one magazine he'd sneaked from his brother's room in which the woman was being forced to suck a man's cock. She'd looked frightened but helpless in her bindings. While part of him felt that was cruel and abusive he couldn't help that the image had excited him. Suddenly the thought of the look of fear in Saundra's eyes sent a chill throughout his body and he had to excuse himself and make a beeline for the restroom. He wondered if he was becoming the sexually volatile man his father had been.
He splashed his face with cold water and emerged from the restroom just as his boss, Mr. Johnson, came to the door and looked at Martin with a bemused expression. Martin recoiled wondering if his still hard cock was noticeable in his dark pants. Mr. Johnson had smiled at him and told him to wait outside the door, that he had something to show Martin. After his boss came out he looked around the room and nodded at a young blonde who Martin did not know. She was wearing a very slinky red dress with a plunging neckline. Her long, athletic legs ended in pretty, delicate feet which were strapped into four inch heeled sandals. She approached the two men then his boss headed up the stairs and the blonde took Martin's hand and lead him to follow Johnson. The three of them went into a bedroom and Martin's boss closed and locked the door.
"Martin, this is Susan. She's my personal sex slave." Johnson pulled her into his arms and kissed her while he slipped one hand beneath the low neckline and squeezed her tit in his big, meaty hand.
