A Willing Slut

The following is a true story and I have done my best not to exaggerate even the smallest detail:

Friday, October 10, 2014. 12:00 AM

After weeks of talking and getting comfortable I decided to visit my new... friend. Brenda intrigued me beyond the normal sexual attraction I have with beautiful women. There is a connection between us that I am only just beginning to skim the surface of. Since this feels so different and is so powerful, I've decided to immortalize it in writing. My aim at this point is not just so that I commit this thing to words but also so that I may look back on it at a later time and better understand it. And perhaps even share it with others.

A bit about myself: I am 26 and, like everyone, I am a contradiction in many ways. I have always been the "white knight" type when it comes to women I form relationships with. At the same time, there are darker desires that are both sadistic and masochistic. I think that domination and roughness are so sexy because they are a little frightening. I lost my virginity at a later age than most due to some personal insecurities. Don't get me wrong, I believe I am decent looking. At least a "six." I'm not tall but my silver tongue and charismatic ways have always trumped my height deficiency. What is unique is that I did not lose my virginity in the standard sense. I lost my virginity to a prostitute in Turkey. It was quite the experience. I often look back and remember that I likened this whore with Cleopatra. Exotic and downright dirty. As I said, there are darker aspects to all of our sexuality.

Brenda, 23, is roughly the same height and a blonde BBW with multiple tattooes and piercings. She has a checkered past and some family issues that I will not go any farther into. For weeks I debated whether it would be moral to engage in rough anything with someone who I perceived as fragile due to a rough life. Tonight that debate ended. I have realised that rather than being delicate, Brenda is resilient, strong and comfortable with the level of sadism that I thrive on.

Tonight I arrived at midnight. It is a chilly night and the cold air bites exposed skin. Brenda is already outside waiting when I pull in front of the nice looking home in a quiet suburb. Very few words are exchanged when she gets in. "I've been waiting to see you." I can hear the sexual anxiety and yearning in her voice.

Very lightly I initiate the festivities with a soft, sensual kiss. This quickly escalates into an hour long make out session. Brenda's pink-nailed hand snakes its way towards my crotch. She strokes my cock through my sweat pants (classy I know) and whispers things into my ear that no good Christian girl should. Good thing Brenda is a heathen atheist like myself. "I really want to suck it." I'm more than happy to oblige her.

After about twenty minutes she still hasn't given up. I can appreciate dedication. I should, at this point, inform you, dear reader, that I rarely get off from head. Especially in my car. Especially for the first time. I inform Brenda the same thing. "I've heard that before. And I'll make you cum." I almost believe her. I know that in a more comfortable environment, this would be true multiple times over. The way this girl finds just the right spot and then relentlessly nibbles and sucks... words can't describe. She even minds the gentlemen and takes my large balls one at a time into her mouth. She spits into her hand and I am right on the verge. I stop her there.

I think that withholding can be even more sexy. The anxiety, the teasing. This makes her even more into it. I can tell because she blatantly states it with a wild look in her big and beautiful eyes. I ask her what exactly she likes as I kiss and suck on her neck. This drives her wild and just her smell drives me even more wild.

We had already briefly discussed how we were both into roughness but that it would have to come later, as we both got more comfortable with each other. I guess that process sped up a bit. I began by pulling her hair as requested. It must've been only a quarter of my strength and she said simply, "Harder!" I upped the ante and pulled at about seventy-five percent strength and she let out a moan as I bit her hard on the neck and then the lower lip. Had we been somewhere that wasn't so confined she would've jumped me there and then.

"What else?" She stated, "I really have to confess I like being choked too." I asked her to demonstrate on my neck as we continued to make out. She choked me. A quick aside, I was a military cop for half a decade and I know roughness. I knew she was going easy and asked her if she was. A glimmer sparkled in her eyes that told me she was going easy on me because she cared for me. "Do it how you really want it." She applied more pressure. To me, I was just a bit uncomfortable and not even close to pain but I applied the same pressure as best I could to her and her body convulsed in pleasure.

She begged me to slap her in the face. I obliged but not at full strength. She begged even more desperately for me to slap harder and I gave her a good one right across the face. The sparkle in her eyes glittered even more and she lost herself to pleasure. Even now this turns me on. That such a small act of violence can induce such submission in a beautiful woman like her.

As the night progressed we remained in my car. I continued my roughness, with a bit of fear that our consensual actions might be spotted and construed as abuse. That faded as I shoved Brenda's head back down to my cock and forced her to take it all, down to the balls. She moaned in pleasure. Again, I went until the point of orgasm only to deny her my seed. I did this a few times in between more roughness and foreplay. She was begging for it but I knew my dominant position rested on denial and I did not give in.

After a total of three hours of switching between choking on my cock, being choked by my hands, being slapped, having her hair pulled and incessant biting she looked as one might expect. That submissive, helplessness that showed on her face turned us both on I think. Unfortunately, my night could not go on as long as I'd liked. I did have things to do in the morning and it was already 3AM. She, too, admitted she had to cut this short but that she insisted on seeing me again. I assured her that she was my slut now. I slapped her and told her to repeat it. "I'm your little slut." She repeated it a few times as she gave my cock one parting blow and began to depart.

As instructed, upon exiting my car she dropped the back of her pants to show me the sexy little G-string she had worn just for me. I gave her my approval and one last kiss before departing.

Brenda has submitted to me. And though I have not yet had the chance to fill her with cum, I relish the opportunity. I know she does as well. And I just can't wait to see her squirm and pant and moan and even cry out in pain... because that's what sluts are for. And she is my slut now... and perhaps my muse.

*****

Dear reader, I hope you enjoyed what is just the beginning of my little journal of my first BDSM/S&M/Rough Sex experience as much as I enjoyed living and writing it. And when you are by yourself, looking in the mirror as we all often are I've inspired you to do one thing: Ask yourself just who is looking back at you from behind your eyes. Is it a good, clean and conservative individual who abhors such filth as I've discussed or is it what we all fear? A primal, sexual predator looking for his own slave? Maybe it is much as what I see... the absurd and contradictory being that is both at the same time... More to come.

-B