A Switch in Her Master's House

I try not to fidget, but it's really hard. This is the worst part, waiting before the punishment happens. And it couldn't be consistent now, could it? I could stare into this corner for 5, 15, 20 minutes and each time it would still feel like forever. I don't know how He chooses it - only that I am to stand perfectly still for the entire time dictated. My feet are starting to hurt. It doesn't help that He makes me wear these "punishment heels" each time, either. Or when I can tell how much trouble I'm in by the look in His eyes.

All I am given is numbers - 33, 65, 42. They could mean anything - number of swats, time, a position reference - it doesn't matter much, knowing doesn't ease the knots in my stomach. I repeat the numbers again in my mind - 33, 65, 42. I have to remember them, or else I go back to this dreadful corner.

What I'm really supposed to be doing here is reflecting. Reflecting on what I've done, and how I can improve. I have to show Him I want to do better, after all is forgiven.

The problem is, this time, I have no idea what it is I did. Sure, I've been punished before just for fun - but that was never with corner time. Again, there was that look in His eyes... I mentally shake my head.

I really need to figure out what I did.

Let's see, what happened today? I woke up late, no surprise there - and I was punished for that, just like usual. I met and made breakfast with the other girls, chatting about trivial things like the days before and future plans, etc. After that we cleaned - which was when I spilled a bucket of water all over the floor. I was punished for that too, what's the big deal here? Wait, continue on. It's got to be here somewhere. The rest of the day went on as usual, more cleaning, greeting guests, making meals, and helping out here and there.

Guests... did I insult a guest somehow? It wouldn't be the first time - I've never been the best at knowing how to act formally. But even then, the issue was addressed immediately. If not by Master, then by one of the Lords. No, I've certainly not done that. My butt would be way more sore if so.

I've just got a slight sting right now from when one of the Lords found me hiding in the laundry room. Who would have guessed they don't like us taking breaks in there?

I mentally shake my head again. I should know better than that by now. There are no breaks here.

That was addressed by a Lord - so it's not that. The rest of the day went smoothly so I can't understand why I'm in so much trouble...

My stomach sinks. Oh no. There's no way but - someone must have seen. I swear I checked up and down to make sure no one saw... but I guess not.

Of course He would be mad. I mentally laugh. 'Mad' wouldn't be the half of it - it's His number one rule. Really the only big rule that we have. And I was stupid to think I could have gotten away with breaking it.

That's...worrisome, to say the least. I had wondered why the numbers were so high. Especially that 65. If I remember this right, the highest I've ever gone was 45 - and that was with time. He sure took his time too - my butt and thighs were glowing by the end of that one.

I wonder what position I will be in. Over His lap? Doubtful, with those numbers. On the bed? Possible, since we're in His bedroom. Touching toes? I certainly hope not. I can never stay in position with that one.

I close my eyes. Right, reflecting. How should I do better? Obviously never do it again, but He's not going to take just that. I don't want to be stuck in this corner any longer than I have to. Should I suggest I be punished more? I wince. He would like that, but I don't find it desirable. What else can I do? I can volunteer to do dishes all week, no one likes to do that. I sigh. That's not an improvement plan.

The problem with improving on this one is that I never agreed with this rule to begin with. Sure, I didn't exactly agree to come here, but I find most of the rules reasonable. All except that one. I chew on my lip. If I actually was sorry about breaking that rule, how would I act? I wince. I shouldn't think that way - I'm going to be sorry soon enough, and if I can't think of a way to improve it's going to be even worse.

My heart sinks. He's got to be so disappointed in me. My eyes are starting to burn. There's no way He would want me to leave, would he? Was this the last straw? Is He just going to punish me and leave me?

I stare hard at the wall, trying to hold back tears. These aren't real - they're just worries. Only worries. I need to focus on improving. Breathe in, breathe out, time to improve. I can do this. I will do this.

I am ready to focus again. I get ready to start reflecting again... and I hear footsteps behind me. Of course.