Simple conversations with my Master seem to rapidly turn into experiences that I never expected or even would have thought of. I suffer from anxiety and depression and it has been an ongoing topic, almost daily, between my Master and I and he understands my reactions and needs, often much better than I can.
This particular night, all I wanted was off the anxiety and depression roller coaster and desperately needed to shut my brain down because the thoughts that kept repeating themselves were less than helpful. I expressed all of these thoughts and feelings openly to my Master, who shared that often meditation helped him at least slow things down. Meditation, Mindfulness, and other coping strategies have also been very frequent on our topic list. I am just plain not very good at it, though, I do try, and try again. I just plain can't concentrate that long because a random thought will completely distract me again.
My Master teased me when I stated that I was counting breaths and got to 3, saying that if I got to 3, I just needed to repeat that a million times. Being a little sassy, as I sometimes am, I teased back saying that maybe if I was counting how many times his clock slid in and out of my pussy, then maybe it would work better.
And...my Master took that information and quickly turned it into a command. Due to time differences, and other commitments etc., we sometimes cannot stay online together and this was one of those times. However, this does not prevent my Master from commanding me, and often just forces us to be a bit more creative. This was one of those times.
I read my Master's instructions and my pussy became wet, just reading, while at the same time, I groaned, knowing that this was not going to be an easy task for me:
"When you climb into bed, use the vibe in your pussy. Count each stroke and don't think of anything else. When you DO think of something else, stop for a second, tell yourself to concentrate, and start over. When you get to 25 strokes without thinking about anything else, you may come".
How does HE do that??? A play on both my recent inability to concentrate in general, and on my general lack of patience which he likes to challenge simultaneously. Groan...
Proof that I need more practice...
I finally went to bed about 10 PM and fortunately was alone. For whatever reason, I was avoiding even starting to act on your command, so played around on the phone, put the baby to bed, and did a couple other things, the whole time thinking, seriously...how am I going to do this?
