Opportunities, it seems, linger just a hair's width below the mundane, and Eddie's life was certainly full of the mundane. Each morning he awoke at 6, relieved himself, and made his first cup of coffee. He sat in the recliner he had known since childhood, the recliner being one of the few things that his older sisters had bequeathed him from his mom's meager estate. The recliner was a place of comfort in a life that seemed always just a little out of sync.
He quickly sipped the coffee as he quickly perused the newsfeeds on the smart phone. He checked his Google+ account, disappointed yet again that no one had made a comment on his postings. He sighed, and quickly finished the first cup of coffee quickly, being careful to not burn his mouth. He then made another cup, and headed to the shower, after which he carefully shaved his light beard growth, lathered his tender skin in lotion, feeling the roughness, but deciding shaving his body could wait another day. He glanced down at the phone, touched the screen, and quickly rechecked through the erotic pictures of dominant women that filled his Google+ feed.
As much as he craved dominance, he feared moving his submission from the safety of fantasy to the real world. Walking back to his bedroom, his thin naked frame barely stirred the air. He slipped on a lacey panty, stepped into his slacks, and donned his pink oxford, as today was "pink Wednesday" at work, a tradition that was a deeply rooted in the culture of the small woman-owned company he had worked for over the past year. He slipped his phone into his pocket, picked up his backpack, and headed out at the door just in time to catch the 7:10 bus a block from the apartment.
Most mornings, Eddie would resume checking his Google+ on the short bus-ride to work, tilting the screen towards the window so that his interests would remain private. He was startled as someone sat down next to him, and quickly slipped the phone into his shirt pocket. As usual, he didn't turn towards the person, but turned to look out the window; however, he was soon aware of a womanly scent. He dared a glance to his right, and was surprised to see her short heels, slowly following the smooth curves of her calf.
It was unusual that anyone would sit next to him, particularly at this early hour, when the bus was nearly empty. And, it was even more unusual for a woman to sit at his side. His lower lip trembled slightly, he turned back to the window, but continued to take furtive glances back to his right, each time starting again at her feet, and each time daring a longer stare, inching his gaze towards her knees. He was lost in time and deep inside the fantasy world that was his one pleasure, where his slight frame and feminine features became something of interest to powerful women, instead of his shame.
He was startled as the bus stopped and she rose from her seat, realizing that he had gone past his stop. He got up and hurried out the door, quickly taking his bearings. But as soon as he saw her walking away, his thoughts of getting to the office faded, and he was compelled to follow her, hypnotized by the erotic sway of her hips and her short gray skirt. He watched as the hem of her matching jacket flapped, as if it was caressing her hips with each step. In less than a block, she turned into an office building, breaking the spell. Knowing he was close being late, he turned and rushed back towards his building, which was fortunately just 6 blocks away.
Upon entering his building, he noticed the crowds at the elevators, and turned to take the stairs, taking two at a time until he reached the 4th floor suite. He paused at the glass doors, and realizing that there wasn't time to make his customary restroom stop, he opened the doorway and entered the plush offices of Fem Tech. He was soon at his desk, breathless stairs and jogging. He started up his computer and began to put the morning report together. He glanced at his watch as he heard the report began to spit out of the nearby printer, and realizing he had only moments to spare, he grabbed his notebook, fetched the report from the printer, and headed to the conference room.
Fem Tech was an IT services company, and almost all of the technical and management staff was women, which suited Eddie, as he had always seemed to flourish with female management. Technically, he was the CIO, but the title disguised the fact that the only person he managed was himself, having to take care of everything from maintaining the servers and desktop computers, to changing paper and toner in the printers. He was flushed as he took his seat in the chairs placed against the wall, not having the status to sit at the conference table. The room was alive with morning chatter and almost full—he was clearly the last one to enter. The woman sitting at the table just in front of him turned and said:
"Nice of you to join us, Eddie." Judith was in charge of all of the administrative and support activities and was his boss.
Eddie blushed, feeling the gaze of everyone in the room, managing a stuttered "yes Ma'am, sorry I am late."
The table conversations abruptly ended and everyone stood up as Ms. Degrasse, the company owner and CEO entered. As the group took their seats, Eddie looked down and started going over the report he had just printed, hoping that everything was in order. The reported detailed the IT support metrics tracked by the management system, and as long as everything was green, he would not have anything to say. But this was not going to be his day. He tried to listen as he dug into the report.
Then he heard Ms. Degrasse say, "We have only one area that it out of compliance today, and that is IT support. Judith, can you provide me some insight into why we had two servers fail backup last night?"
Judith turned, looking over her shoulder at Eddie, which was his cue to answer the question. Eddie felt the eyes of all the women at the table. He was uncomfortable speaking in public, and particularly uncomfortable answering Ms. Degrasse's questions, as she was more than demanding and unforgiving. He nervously flipped through the pages of the report, and soon had the server status summary in hand. He noticed the flags on the server backup, but found it hard to speak in the pressure of the moment.
Finally, he managed to say "Ms. Degrasse, umm ... ah ... I am running a diagnostic and I should have the details within the hour." She frowned, paused, and then said, "Judith, we really need the details on the daily metrics at this meeting, so that I can set priorities."
"I understand, Ellen," Judith responded. "It doesn't directly impact operations; but I will make sure you have a detailed report by the time the meeting is over."
Ms. Degrasse seemed satisfied with the answer, and continued down the agenda. Judith turned, and motioned for Eddie to come closer to her. He awkwardly rose, taking a half step in a crouched position, kneeling down at Judith's side, between her and her neighbor at table. Her anger was obvious, as she leaned down and whispered in Eddie's ear.
"Get the details and get back here ASAP if you value your job!" she said firmly.
Eddie arose, grabbed his papers and notebook, and headed back to his office. As he sat down, the feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment overwhelmed him. He had let his boss down and he knew that there would be consequences. For a moment, his mind flipped back to the erotic lady in the gray suit from his bus ride, but as soon as his screen came alive, he began to dig into the issue. Within a few minutes, he had the answer—an update to the backup software had not been applied to the two servers that failed the update. Fortunately it was something he could do in a few minutes, and the backups could be started as soon as the updates were applied. As soon as the screen indicated that the software was updated, he opened the management console for the backup system, and initiated the two failed backups. He looked down at his watch—the whole process had taken just 20 minutes. He gathered up his things and headed back to the conference room.
As he walked up to the door, it opened and the women started filing out, so Eddie stepped back, suddenly very aware of an urgent need to pee. As soon as Judith got to the door, she grabbed his arm firmly and said, "Come with me." Eddie trailed behind, seeing the anger in her walk. They were soon at her office. Eddie followed as she entered her office. She turned facing him. "Do not ever embarrass me like that again, Eddie! Understand?" she said, doing little to mask her anger. Eddie visibly trembled and he felt his eyes watering. The pressure of his bladder was becoming almost unbearable.
"Yes, Ma'am," he said with a stutter. She continued, "So can you tell me what happened with the fucking backup?"
"Yes Ma'am, he replied, and began to give her the details.
"So what do I tell Ellen, other than you fucked it up?" she asked sarcastically.
"I'm sorry, it won't happen again. The backup should be done by now and everything is updated so it will go smoothly tonight," he managed to say, fighting back the tears.
"You better hope so, Eddie. And you better make sure I am not ever caught flat footed with Ellen. I intend to make a record of this with HR. Understand?" she said, as she calmed down.
Eddie nodded, managing a "Yes Ma'am," as his head looked down at the floor.
Judith turned and sat down at her desk, with Eddie gazing as she sat down and crossed her legs. He let out a soft sigh as he caught a brief glimpse of her panties. She was everything he wanted in a woman, though he never expressed his feelings to her. She was confident, smart, and dressed perfectly. His thoughts started to stray, as he stood uncomfortably at the side of her desk needing desperately to pee, looking down at her lap. She dismissed him as she began going over some papers.
"I will take care of briefing Ellen. Now don't let this happen again," she said.
"And Eddie, I am sure you would have had time to get your facts in order if you had arrived this morning on time. And, you looked disheveled this morning—that shirt looks like you slept in it. You are supposed to be a manager, not the janitor." She paused and then continued, "Perhaps you should plan on arriving earlier in the future," she said as she dismissed him.
He dashed out of the office, just making it to the small men's room just off the elevator lobby. He hated using this men's room—it was little more than a janitor closet with a stool.
Even more frustrating, the door wouldn't lock—something he has asked about, but only got a "we'll let the building manager know."
He usually stopped at the 2d floor, which had a more conventional men's room; but the access was controlled by a pass card, and his card did not work for that lock. So, his habit was to wait in the elevator area until he saw a man heading to the restroom, and he would follow right behind, entering before the door relocked. He also seldom used a urinal, fearing someone might discover the panties as well as his inadequacy, a circumstance he had been painfully aware of since junior high gym.
He slipped down his pants, sitting on the stool, and noticing a small wet spot on the pants. He worried that the spot would be noticeable. It took some time for his stream to start.
He thought to himself, "I know that damn door is going to open any second, and here I was about to wet my pants, but now that I can pee, I can't!"
After some time, the stream began to flow and he felt relief for the first time since leaving the bus. Finishing, he pulled up his panties and pants, tucked his shirt in, and washed his hands in the utility sink. Looking into the mirror, he noticed wet spots under his arms, as well as the small wet spot on his pants. There was little that he could do about the shirt, but he stood close to the hand dryer until the embarrassing wet spot on his pants was gone. He wondered if Judith had noticed the wet spot.
The rest of the day was lost in the mundane support activities, yet the sense of dread seemed to hang over him. He worried that he would be called back to his supervisor's office, or worse, to Ms. Degrasse's office, but fortunately, that call never came. By 6 pm he had wrapped up his work, double checked the backup processes, and headed down the stairs. Normally he would catch the 6:15 bus back home, but he soon found himself standing outside the office building that the lady in gray had entered at the start of the day. He could not get her out of his mind.
He paused near the entrance, not really sure what he expected by coming to the building. He walked on past the entrance to the next intersection, and then turned back towards to the bus stop. He glanced down at his watch, and felt annoyed when he realized that he had missed his regular bus.
