Chapter 6.
If The Shoe Fits, Wear It
Anna
(Everything is spinning out of control, and I honestly wish Roy had just taken me out to dinner and bought me a nice set of earrings for our anniversary!)
When I woke up a little before six-thirty, I was snuggled up to Roy's back and kissed the back of his head. Then everything that happened yesterday flashed through my head like a DVR on full-speed FF.
I slapped my hand over my mouth, slipped out of bed, and ran to the bathroom. The guilt tore through me as I flipped on the shower and buried my face in a towel so Roy wouldn't hear me cry.
God, how could I have fucked everything up so badly? What in the hell was I thinking? And there it was: the crux of the problem. I wasn't fucking thinking! At least not with the brain between my ears, and now I was caught up in Todd's web.
When I fell asleep last night, I was determined to make this all work out for Roy's sake, our sake, really. But as my head spun with a thousand bad scenarios, I couldn't see any way out of this without hurting Roy; and more than likely losing him.
I took a deep breath, stepped into the shower, and let the hot water wash away my whorish sins as I steeled myself. I was determined not to let Todd, or anyone else, ruin our lives. Yet, a few minutes later, I was right back to feeling overwhelmed and out of control when Roy startled me back into the here-and-now.
"Morning, baby."
He had come in for his morning wee, and all things considered, he was in a surprisingly good mood.
"Good morning, honey," I replied, trying not to sound like the complete wreck I was.
Then he asked if the raccoon that shit in his mouth while he slept got me too!
He was definitely in a better mood. God, I love that man. Roy can make me laugh no matter how down I am.
"Yeah, I think so," I chuckled.
He commented that I was up early. I told him I decided to get in on the sunrise aerobics class and said he should get signed up for the hands-on sailing experience while I was working out. He understandably asked if I needed to sign up for the aerobics class.
"No. The brochure says you just have to show up," I replied.
I heard Roy spit out his toothpaste just as I turned off the shower.
"Your turn, honey," I said as I stepped out and did my best to smile.
Roy's eyes went to my tits, and a strange look crossed his face. I looked down, saw the bruising around my nipples, grabbed a towel, and covered myself in a panic. I could only hope that Roy would assume it happened during our aggressive lovemaking yesterday: it wouldn't be the first time!
I told Roy I would make a coffee run to Sammy's as soon as I was dressed, and he was happy to hear that.
When I packed for our second honeymoon, I hadn't anticipated taking an aerobics class. But then, a girl never knows, and I did pack a couple of sports bra tops with matching shorts. I figured they would be comfortable when we went ashore in Cozumel and on our tour of the Mayan temples in central Mexico.
I tried to think of a way out of this fucked up situation as I wiggled into my baby blue sports bra and matching spandex shorts. I even considered asking Roy to fly us home from Cozumel. But he had put so much effort into planning our second honeymoon, and he knew how excited I was to see the Mayan temples. So how would I explain bailing on the vacation of a lifetime just because Todd was hitting on me without Roy thinking there was more to it?
Todd had really put me in a no-win situation, and the only thing I knew for sure, as I headed out the door to Sammy's, was that I would have to keep playing his game.
Sammy's panoramic restaurant was just a short walk from our stateroom at the back of the fourth deck. There were half-a-dozen six-top tables inside a glassed-in area, but most of the seating was out on the open deck, and panoramic was a good description of the view.
On my way back with the coffees, Sandy and Becky came out of their stateroom, and when little Becky saw me, she excitedly came running with a large piece of paper flailing in her hand. Becky stopped right in front of me, then got a case of the shies and held the paper behind her back as she looked at the floor and fidgeted to-and-fro.
"Good morning, Becky," I cheerfully said to reassure her as Sandy caught up, stood behind Becky, and patted her head.
"It's okay. You can give it to Anna now," Sandy encouragingly said as she held out her hand and took the cardboard coffee carrier from me.
"I did it all by myself," Becky proudly proclaimed as she looked up with a beaming smile and held up the picture she had put so much love and care into drawing for Roy and me.
It was all I could do not to break down and start balling when Becky handed me the crayon drawing of the two smiling stick people holding hands on a sailboat under a beautiful pink and purple sunset. It was signed by the artist, BECKY, in big block letters, and I could tell she had a little help with the "Happy second honeymoon to Roy & Anna from the Gomezes" as Sandy grinned from ear to ear at her precocious daughter.
"Oh... Thank you, Becky. It's beautiful!" I gushed, thinking it was way too beautiful for a cheating slut like me, as I struggled to hold back my tears.
"Hey, Rob is going to be busy from nine to noon. Would you like to join us for some fun-in-the-sun and coloring up on the sun deck?" Sandy asked.
"Nine to noon, you say?"
"Yeah, Rob is a big sailboat fanatic, and he's been talking nonstop about doing this hands-on..."
"...Sailing experience," I cut in and finished her sentence. "Funny thing. Roy will be busy from nine to noon too. And I would love to."
Sandy and I broke into a good laugh over the, what are the odds, coincidence.
"I'm so glad we could give you Becky's picture in person, and it was really nice to see you again, Anna," Sandy exclaimed as she handed me the coffee carrier, then conspiratorially stated over the back of her hand. "We were gonna slide it under your door."
I held Becky's picture close to my heart and mouthed "Thank you" to Becky.
"Your welcome," Becky replied with a bright smile.
"Well, okay then. We're off to get coffee and a bite for the little one," Sandy said as she took Becky's hand.
Becky put on her determined face and toddled off with her mother.
"See you up on the sundeck," I called after them, then hurried to our room so they wouldn't see me break down and cry.
Roy was still in the shower, and I set our coffees on the nightstand. Then I sat on the bed, and my tears started to flow as I stared at the innocent child's crayon drawing. It was the most thoughtful touching gift I had ever received, made with the pure untainted love of a three-year-old little girl.
Then I thought about how badly I had always wanted a child with Roy, and my tainted, impure love tore at my guts as I wondered if our love would survive this trip. Wondered if I was pregnant, and if I was: was Todd or Roy the father? Wondered if, by some miracle, I managed to get through this whole ordeal without losing my husband, and it was Todd's baby: could I keep such a horrible secret? Could I go through life never telling Roy that the child he loves with all his heart and soul is not really his?
When he came out of the bathroom, I pushed the endless parade of bad scenarios out of my mind, smiled at my husband, and prayed that we would make it through this, but my smile couldn't hide my tears.
What's the matter, baby?" Roy asked and rushed to my side. "Ah, I see you ran into the Gomezes," he said as he looked at the picture, then sat and put his arm around my shoulders.
It felt so good to have Roy touch me, his undeserving slut wife, that I couldn't hold back the tears as I told him how excited little Becky was to give me the picture.
He took me into his arms, and I hugged him tightly.
"I love you so much, and I'm so sorry, honey!" I blubbered on his shoulder.
"I love you too, baby, and I know you didn't mean to hurt me," Roy said sweetly, then broke our hug and lifted my chin. "So please, stop crying. And you don't have to go to that class if you're not up to it," he said, making me feel even worse.
I told Roy I'd be fine; and that I would feel better after a good workout.
"You have a few minutes yet," he said as he grabbed our coffees and handed me one.
I took a sip and managed a weak smile. Then Roy said the last thing I wanted to hear, yet I knew it was coming sooner or later.
"Look, I know you were just playing, but you know as well as I do Todd didn't see it that way, and he'll be expecting more!"
Yeah, he expected more alright, I thought, feeling cornered and angry. But I wasn't angry with Roy. I was angry at myself.
"Well, I don't care what Todd expects!" I spat.
I could tell Roy was happy that I felt that way. Then he made it clear the Captain, Todd, and his buddies had gotten on his nerves, and he wasn't going to put up with any more of their shit! Roy has always been an easy-going, level-headed man. Yet, I knew if they pushed him too far, he wouldn't hesitate to defend me. But he didn't understand the position I'd put us in, and I didn't want Roy to provoke Todd and make things worse.
"Oh, please, honey. Don't do anything rash," I pleaded.
