A Not so Self Spaning

Part 2: Out of the Closet

When I finally revealed my love of spanking, or more precisely, self spanking, to my husband it was not at all planned. Our two daughters had gone to a friend's birthday party in the afternoon and we got a phone call from the mother hosting the party to ask if it was all right if the girls stayed for the night. We said it was fine and I drove over to drop off pyjamas and toothbrushes. I was back home by late afternoon and Rick and I realised we had a rare evening on our own.

We had a few too many wines over dinner and settled down to watch a movie on Netflix. But I didn't want to watch the movie. I was restless and playful. I began annoying Rick by tickling him, and when that didn't distract him from the movie I jumped up and stood in front of him so he couldn't see the TV.

Finally he gave up and turned off the TV.

"You are impossible," he sighed with a grin. "What am I going to do with you?"

"You could spank me?" I just blurted it out. It wasn't planned and I was as shocked as Rick seemed to be that I had said it.

"Well I am not sure that was what I was thinking."

I was suddenly deflated. But I desperately didn't want to give up. I so much wanted to have my husband involved with my obsession for spanking. It wasn't just the guilt of doing it behind his back. I wanted him involved even though I could only imagine the intense humiliation it would likely cause me.

I gazed intently at Rick.

"What?" he responded quizzically.

I took a very deep breath. "I do want you to spank me," I whispered, intensely embarrassed by what I was saying to my beloved husband and with no inkling of how he would react.

"You what?" he frowned.

I chickened out. I shook my head. "Nothing," I smiled weakly.

It was Rick's turn to gaze at me intently, but I couldn't meet his eye so I looked down at his feet.

"Did you, or did you not, ask me to spank you?" Rick finally requested, but there was no disgust in his voice.

I began to blush, and kept staring at his feet.

"Well?"

"Yes," I whispered nervously.

"A proper spanking?"

"Yes," I again whispered.

"Becky, look at me."

Embarrassed, I lifted my head and stared at my loving husband. I was so overcome with tension that I was shaking and my eyes welled up with tears.

"Are you okay?" Rick enquired with genuine concern.

I nodded my head and tried to give him a reassuring smile. A long silence followed and I could see Rick was trying to assess the situation, like the trained Psychologist he is.

Finally he spoke. "You really want me to do this, don't you?"

Again I just nodded. My heart was pounding. Another long silence followed while Rick seemed to weigh up the situation.

"Tell me?" Rick enquired.

"W..w..what?" I stuttered.

"Tell me exactly what you want?"

I was so ridiculously nervous that I thought I was going to be sick.

"I want you to spank me on my bottom," I muttered nervously, blushing at the shame of what I was saying.

"I want more details than that."

I noticed that Rick had a slightly mischievous grin on his face. I was so utterly embarrassed that a part of me wanted to run and hide somewhere. But I had gone this far and I sensed if I backed out now I would forever regret it.

"I..I want you to put me over your knee and give me a good hard spanking," I paused and took a deep breath to try and settle my nerves, "and I want the spanking to be on my bare bottom."

"Ahhh," Rick grinned, "a good hard spanking on that beautiful naked bottom of yours. Have I got it right?"

"Yes," I mumbled, no longer able to look him in the face.

"And why is it you think you deserve a spanking?"

I was thrown by his question. I just so badly wanted him to do it.

"Why?" I questioned.

"Well I would have thought that if you are asking me to give you a spanking you must have been pretty damn naughty."

My mouth hung open. Rick seemed to be playing right along with my fantasy, or was I just getting my hopes up.

"Well?" Rick enquired when I failed to answer.

Mustering all the courage I could I turned to look Rick directly in the eye again.

"I have been a naughty little slut who deserves to have her bottom thoroughly spanked." In a million years I never imagined I would be saying those words to my husband.

Rick stared at me from where he was seated in the sofa. I was still standing in front of him, having playfully blocked his view of the television. I felt awkward and nervous.

"Well you had better remove those jeans." Rick directed. "Naughty girls don't get to keep their jeans on, do they?"

"No," I mumbled.

With fumbling fingers I unzipped my skin tight jeans and struggled to lower them down my legs. I couldn't believe I was actually doing it. I was so nervous I just about trip over twice before I managed to kick them off my feet.

When I stood back up I suddenly felt very exposed. My husband had seen me naked a million times, but standing in front of him like this was something totally different.

"Now those panties."

Oh gawd no, I suddenly thought, I can't strip off in front of him like this. It is too humiliating.

"Ummm," I pleaded, "I want to go over your knee first, and then you can lower my panties. Please."

Rick cocked his head and gazed into my eyes.

"I thought you said you had been a naughty little slut who deserved a thorough spanking?"

"Yes, but..."

"There are no buts, little lady. Naughty little sluts don't get to keep their panties on. Now get them off." Rick wagged his finger scornfully at me., but I could see the glint in his eyes.

I pouted.

"Please," I pleaded.

"Now!"

I couldn't believe I could be so humiliated yet so excited all at the same time. I was still shaking with nerves, but somehow managed to hook my fingers into the waistband of my knickers. With a deep breath I slowly began to lower them. It was so exquisitely embarrassing, standing in front of my husband and undressing like some cheap harlot.

I lowered my panties to my ankles, kicked them off, then straightened up again aware that the sparse curls of my trimmed pubes were fully on display. I began to bring my hands in front of my vagina but stopped myself. I wanted to be on display. I wanted to live my fantasy.

"Pick up your panties and hand them to me," Rick directed.

Blushing, I did as directed, balling up my pink cotton panties and handing them to him. Rick reached out and slowly took them from me, before unravelling them and stretching them wide. He peered into the gusset.

"What's this big wet spot right here?"

He actually turned the panties side on for me, and I couldn't believe how wet they were. So utterly embarrassing. I couldn't answer him.

"I think my little slut is perhaps, how should I say it delicately, more than just a little stimulated by the prospect of a spanking."

I could only grimace and smile shyly.

"Well, you had better get over my lap, young lady."

Finally. It was going to happen. All the mixture of sensations welled up inside me and I momentarily felt overwhelmed. Almost in a dream I went to stand beside where he was seated on the sofa. Rick obligingly slid forward so that I had full access to his lap. I began to bend over when suddenly I remembered something important.

Hastily I stood back up. "I will be back really quickly," I informed Rick just in case he thought I was backing out.

I dashed into our bedroom and quickly returned to the lounge and stood beside Rick. I was breathless from my quick dash. In my hand I was holding my mother's wooden hairbrush. Holding it nervously in both hands I passed it to him."

"Will you use this, please? I deserve to be spanked with my mother's hairbrush."

Rick raised one eyebrow quizzically but took the hairbrush in silence. He had questioned me on more than one occasion as to why I had kept my mother's old wooden hairbrush given how the bristles were worn and falling out. Perhaps he now suspected why.

Rick tapped his lap. I knew now it was all going to happen, and my darling husband seemed to be handling the whole weird situation superbly.

I looked him sincerely in the eyes, and took a moment to enjoy the sensations I was feeling. I was so apprehensive but ever so excited.

"I love you so much." For the first time I managed a small smile.

"And I love my kinky little wife. Even if she is a naughty little slut who deserves the spanking she is going to get."

With that Rick took hold of my arm and lowered me over his lap. He shuffled me around until he had my bottom positioned exactly where he wanted it. Rick rested the hairbrush on my left buttock. I held my breath.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, yes, yes!" I panted

Without further udo Rick raised the hairbrush and lowered it on my buttocks with a loud crack. It took my breath away. I had spanked myself flipping hard over the years but I am not sure I had ever managed it this hard. Rick spanked me again another half a dozen times in quick succession and I let out a little cry as each spank landed.

He gave me a few moments to recover before abruptly continuing to spank me. After at least another dozen spanks, applied alternately on each cheek, he stopped again. I was beginning to squirm on his lap. I brought my hand up and rubbed my bottom. It felt really warm and tender.

The spanking was painful, but despite that I was in heaven. I knew I was really aroused and was aware that as I squirmed on his lap I was also grinding my pubic bone into his leg.

"Has my naughty little slut been punished enough?" Rick enquired, obviously trying to gauge whether I had had enough of a spanking.

"I have been really, really naughty," I responded impishly.

"Indeed you have."

With that Rick continued to spank me for what seemed like forever. I was no longer aware of the pain, as I was so feverishly aroused. I rubbed my pubes even more vigorously on his leg. By arching my back I could get stimulation on my engorged clit. Rick must have known what I was doing but I was beyond feeling humiliated any more.

My hips bucked wildly in rhythm to the spanking until finally what must have the most explosive orgasm I had ever experienced washed over me, causing my body to almost convulse. I screamed out in pleasure.

When I finally gathered my senses I was aware the Rick had stopped his spanking. I was still draped over his lap, gulping in deep breaths. Slowly I slid down off his lap until I was kneeling beside him. I glanced up at my husband, who was still holding the hairbrush. He patted the sofa beside him and I raised myself up gingerly and cuddled in beside him.

"Thank you for doing that for me," I muttered shyly, feeling embarrassed.

"It was a pleasure. Can I watch the rest of my movie now?" he laughed.

"You certainly can," I smiled, snuggling into him even more.

I was aware I was naked from the waist down but at that moment I didn't care.

...

After my first ever spanking from my husband, Rick, we both settled down to watch the rest of the movie. But to be honest I was distracted. I had a warm buzz radiating through my body. I felt both relieved and exhilarated. I had actually endured the first spanking of my life that had been delivered by someone other than myself. Yes, I felt embarrassed at how I had acted, but by gawd it had been exhilarating.

By the time we got to bed both of us were still aroused and made long passionate love. Afterwards we lay there embracing, bathing in the afterglow of good sex.

"So, tell me everything," Rick asked me gently.

"About what?" I responded, knowing full well what he was alluding to. I just wasn't sure whether I had the courage to tell him my long history of self spanking.

Rick looked at me knowingly.

"Becky, Becky, my darling. I am a Clinical Psychologist, remember? There is nothing I haven't seen. And what I saw tonight was not a spur of the moment action. It was something much more deep seated. You have a story to tell, and I want to hear it."

I looked at him and couldn't help grinning. "Fucking Psychologists. You are all the same. Always got to over-analyse the situation."

"Becky?" he looked at me knowingly. "Quit stalling."

He was right of course. I sat up in bed, took a big breath, and spirted it all out. I told him the whole sordid story. I began with the sleepover at Rosalie's house when I was a teenager, and how she got a panties down bare bottom spanking with a hairbrush from her mother right in front of me. I then told him how that single one incident had been like a drug to me, enticing me into a world of self spanking.

Rick listened attentively as if I was giving him a run down on the local real estate market. He asked several questions, and seemed particularly interested in the emotions I was experiencing. I told him how I had continued to self spank myself even after we were married. If he was shocked, he didn't show it. I apologised to him for my deceit and my regret that I didn't have the courage to tell him earlier. His only response was to tell me I should have. I nodded my head in agreement. Given how my spanking had gone that night I very much regretted I hadn't been brave enough to involve him sooner.

I even told Rick about how my fantasy was fuelled by having an imaginary person controlling my actions during my spanking. My reflection in the mirror would often be my alter ego, taking delight in seeing me humiliated and punished. I told him about my mother's hairbrush and how it had been a part of my journey from the stared. Rick couldn't help smiling.

"I always wondered why you kept that tatty old hairbrush."

"Now you know," I smiled shyly.

Finally I had told him everything. I felt embarrassed but was greatly heartened by his reactions. He seemed genuinely interested in what I regarded as my dirty little secret of sordid behaviour. I guess being a Psychologist meant nothing much shocked him. Even so, I was his wife, not some depraved pervert, so he could easily have taken it badly.

That night I slept on my tummy as my bottom was tender, but despite this I had one of my best night's sleep in a long while. When I woke in the morning Rick was already up. I lay in bed feeling embarrassed by the events of the previous evening. However hubby surprised me with breakfast in bed, and chatted with me for a long while. Nothing was said of my spanking, and even though I felt the need to raise it I couldn't seem to find the right words. Rick then left to pick up the girls and so nothing was said. And no mention was made of it over the next week.

The following Saturday I was surprised Rick arranged for the girls to stay with his mother. I thought this was unusual as Rick had never done it before but I did not question him. While he was away dropping off the girls I prepared dinner. When he returned we wined and dined and enjoyed a rare occasion alone. But all the while I had this nagging concern that we had not discussed the events of the previous weekend and I needed reassurance. It worried me that he had made no comment, either good or bad.

"Honey," I finally uttered tentatively, "Can we please talk about last weekend. Your silence is driving me crazy."

Rick stared back at me for a long while, his expression neutral.

"I don't want to talk about it," he finally responded.

"Rick," I pleaded, "I know I behaved appallingly but..."

'I don't want to talk about it," Rick interrupted, "because I want a demonstration."

My mouth dropped. "A demonstration?"

"I want to see a demonstration of your self spanking."

"You what!" I gasped. This I had not anticipated and it caught me totally off guard.

"Go and get changed into your nightie and knickers. And then come back here to the lounge."

I looked at him aghast. "You are kidding, right? Tell me you are not really serious."

Rick cocked his head to the side and couldn't suppress a sly grin. "Of course, it is your decision. You don't have to do what I ask. You are after all a grown woman, not a naughty little girl who deserves to give herself a damn good spanking."

I looked at Rick long and hard. He was testing me in ways that I could not have anticipated. I was apprehensive, but I could feel myself getting excited. I knew I wanted to do it, and I sensed that he knew I wanted to do it.

Rick clapped his hands loudly and I jumped in surprise.

"Come on, little lady. I won't wait all day," he commanded, still with the grin on his face.

I wanted to do it, even though I felt it would be even more humiliating than last weekend. I turned to head off to our bedroom to get changed.

"Just your nightie and knickers, nothing else," he reminded me.

"Yes, Sir," I grinned.

"Oh, and Becky, don't forget your mother's hairbrush."

"I won't," I responded as I disappeared out of the room.

Nervously I stripped off my clothing in my bedroom and found my favourite nightie that I always wore when I spanked myself. I got a clean pair of plain white cotton panties out of the drawer and slipped them on. I was apprehensive and couldn't believe that I was actually doing this. Not wanting to dwell on it, I quickly grabbed the heavy wooden hairbrush and returned to the lounge.

I stood awkwardly in front of my hubby, who was still seated on the sofa. He pretended he was reading something in a motoring magazine he had on his lap. I waited patiently, aware that my arousal was building. I glanced down and could see the erect nipples on my small breasts were clearly visible through the thin material of my nightie.

Eventually with a sigh my husband put the magazine down and languidly looked me up and down.

"Is my naughty little girl ready for her spanking?"

"Yes,' I answered nervously, fidgeting with my hands.

"I hope you feel ashamed that you have been misbehaving so badly that you are going to spank yourself hard in front of your loving husband."

Oh my gawd. I couldn't believe how my husband was even getting right into the role playing. I had told him how my fantasy role playing was a big part of what turned me on. And right now my hubby was getting me so damn excited I felt lightheaded.

I hung my head like the stereotypical naughty girl.

"Yes, Sir," I murmured.

"And when I think you have spanked yourself sufficiently well I will finish you off myself with an extra spanking, because you deserve it. Isn't that right?"

"Yes, Sir," I bit my lip, not sure how I felt about a double dose of spanking.

With that Rick grabbed one of the sofa chairs and dragged it to the middle of the lounge.

"Now kneel on the chair and stick that bottom of yours out."

Embarrassed, I knelt on the chair and raised my bottom. Rick was positioned right behind me.

"Lift your nightie right up to your shoulders. Naughty little girls don't deserve their modesty, do they?"

"I guess not," I deliberately answered flippantly, suppressing a smile. I was in seventh heaven.

"Right young lady. You will pay for your rudeness," Rick admonished me, sounding sterner than I had ever heard him.

"Sorry, Sir, I replied contritely.

I pulled my nightie right up to my shoulders. It was so high that even my boobs were exposed. My pantie clad backside protruded off the end of the chair.

"Do naughty girls get to keep their panties on?"

Damn. I had actually hoped that he might just spare me this indignity. I really didn't relish the idea of being bare bottomed while bent over the chair. I was embarrassed by the view I would be presenting to my husband. I also knew that my husband was sure to see just how aroused I was. I knew my panties were wet from my excretions.

Putting the hairbrush down on the seat, I hooked both thumbs into my waistband and lowered my knickers so that my bottom was just exposed, but my labia were hidden by the gusset. But my husband was having none of my tricks to protect my modesty.