Over the years I tried the BDSM scene, attending clubs and meeting folk privately.
I had some fun being a Dom but had more fun being a sub. I met some wonderful dominant women whose talents ranged from extreme sadism to being a first time Domme.
At the time, I was (and still) married to a wonderful wife who tried to fulfil my BDSM fantasises but could never get into it or enjoy a Domme role. She was more submissive if anything however, with jobs, kids and pets we never quite had the opportunity or chances to explore our fantasies further. It wasn't a problem as we still had a very healthy sexual relationship but I did always hanker a hope of meeting a Mistress again. It more often than not continued to form part of my fantasies during masturbation.
It was by accident that the topic of me being submissive arose again when having a few drinks and watching a movie, part of the storyline involved a dominant female with a submissive male. It wasn't porn we were watching but the Domme/sub story was part of the plot. My wife asked if this stuff still turns me on.
"By stuff I presume you mean submissive because yes, it does. It's always done it for me, I'd still love to play in that scene."
"Why don't you then?" she enquired.
"Before I get too old, you mean?" I replied, laughing. "If you say so boss."
"I'm serious," she said "go for it. Honestly, I don't mind. Try and find a Mistress or a Domme that does it for you. Only rule is, you tell me everything."
"Ok," I said grinning, "I'll see what I can do."
The following day, and just to be sure it wasn't the wine talking I brought up the subject again, but before I could even mention it my wife said "don't forget my suggestion last night!" I laughed telling her that I had thought of nothing else since.
At lunchtime, I went to a cafe and began scouring various BDSM and swinger sites. I also had a look at sites with personal ads although it was easier to find a boat or a car than what I was after.
On one well-known site, I found a lady who was fairly local. She was only a few miles from me and was older by 10 years but her profile gave a very good description including the things she enjoyed. She described herself as a 'sexy mature slightly curvy and erotic sophisticated lady for your ultimate pleasure.'
Her profile mentioned her enjoyment of vanilla play but also pointed out (as she put it) that she had a devious side. The fact the ad said she welcomed nervous or new male subs gave me a tingle. Her pics were fantastic. Pictures of her in various poses, wearing different outfits and pictures of males dressed in womens clothing or tied to a bed or a St Andrews cross. There was also a pic included of a hooded male sucking the cock of another. Forced bi wasn't my scene but this pic of a male sub being forced to do something he probably hated was a huge turn-on.
Her profile description also mentioned her being a hirsute female, i.e. she didn't trim or shave so was hairy - this was right up my street and something I had fantasised about for years. Her name was Lizzie and have to be honest, she ticked a lot of my boxes and I was more than keen to explore further.
I took the plunge and sent her an email describing who I was and what I was possibly looking for as a sub. I say possibly as I just knew I wanted to try something but not sure how far I could be pushed. I also knew from previous experience that, while its good to share details of what I wanted as sub I did not want to Dom from the bottom as they say.
As a submissive I mentioned that I wasn't looking for anything heavy and certainly not a lot of pain but I would like my boundaries pushed. It was important to be honest and find the right person. Only then would I be happy to submit and be taken on a journey. It was about a new adventure and letting go.
It took a few days to receive a reply. When I received a notification that I had new mail I was as excited as I had been in a long while. During masturbation I had even been thinking of nothing else other than the various scenarios with me as a sub.
Her email was charming. She was very polite and honest. It was refreshing. She told me that she was a Domme many years ago but as she got older she wanted to enjoy other aspects of sexual play and eroticism. However, her enjoyment of being Domme never diminished, she just was on a different journey and did not attract many sub males. She told me she was interested in my ideas and fantasies but would prefer to chat to me and/or meet me first before embarking on any Domme/sub journey.
We firstly arranged a telephone conversation as a starter and following this, we arranged a public meet at a local cafe. She told me the location - only a few miles from me but it was a quiet place where we could chat without being heard.
She texted me a few hours before the meet with instructions;
BE AT THE CAFE 15 MINS BEFORE ME. BUY WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT MAKE SURE I HAVE AN EXTRA HOT BLACK COFFEE. I WILL BE THERE AT EXACTLY 11 AM.
We hadn't agreed or started anything yet but this was a turn on. I sent the text to my wife who sent me a reply saying that it had turned her on as well.
I arrived in plenty of time to ensure I could find a table far enough away from earshot of other customers but where I could be seen by Lizzie when she entered. At 10.55 I went to the counter to order and to ensure I got the order correct. It worked out perfectly. As the coffee arrived at the table, Lizzie also entered, spotted me and sat at the table.
"Wow, I'm impressed," she said first. "Great timing, well done."
If I am being honest, the timing was more luck than planning but I was happy to be off to a good start.
We chatted about our lives which was a nice way of getting to know each other and relax especially as I had been as nervous as hell. It was lovely to hear of her other interests, keeping fit by cycling everywhere and her passion for art and massage. The latter being a new venture of hers.
When the conversation was drying up slightly she said "before, when I sent you that text message, how did it make you feel?"
I was really honest and told her that it really turned me on but it also made me nervous and my stomach churn.
She laughed and said "good, that was what I wanted you to say. Now, I want you to be more honest and tell me the things you enjoy, your fantasies, the porn you watch when wanking that small cock of yours and what gets you off."
Fucking hell I thought. Her forthright demand to tell her personal things made me want to squirm but at the same time open up and tell her everything. I explained that I had many fantasies and likes with some more outrageous than others.
"Ok," she said, "tell me a few tame ones, give me a starter, we can discuss the crazy fantasies later."
"Well," I smiled "where to start?"
I went back many years when I had tried being a Dom and met lots of interesting people who had completely different ideas to me although I always took something positive from each meet rather than the negative aspects. She seemed to like this open-minded attitude as she murmured, "mmmm, good boy."
The praise made me smile. I continued with the history, and my submissive experiences. Again, I told her some of the things I enjoyed and those things that I didn't. The latter being Dommes who had originally told me they wanted to explore their domineering side actually turned out to be sadistic belt-wielding maniacs. This made Lizzie laugh.
"Are you against all types of pain?" she asked.
"No, not at all. If administered in the right it can be a great way of controlling a sub. In fact, sometimes even the prospect of pain can be enough to help with sub control," I replied.
"I like this," she said, "you have obviously given this a lot of thought and I'm glad you are aware of the uses of pain or, the prospect of pain. Let me tell you where I'm at then."
She proceeded to give me some background to her life and especially her previous experiences. Kinda the opposite of me, Lizzie said she tried being a sub but just couldn't get into at all. She said it actually annoyed her and every instruction or order worked against her and pissed her off. It was then she decided to try being Domme and ended up loving it. She loved the control, the power and, laughing at my previous comments again said that she also liked to humiliate and give out pain but only when required.
We exchanged a few more experiences, stories and fantasies without going too deep but it was clear that we were kindred spirits with many similar interests albeit me being submissive and Lizzie being Dominant. Lizzie asked if I was still interested in taking things further and meeting her again but this time in a more Dominant/sub (D/s) role.
"Yes, I would love that. I have enjoyed meeting you today and having this chat. Bring it on," I say, laughing.
"Good," she says, "I think similar. I think we could have a lot of fun. However, before we do, we need to continue this dialogue. From the moment you leave me today, you will in future refer to me as Miss or Mistress. I may ask you to refer to me by other names but that will come. I will be sending you some questions over the course of the next few days and weeks and if you don't reply by the date and time set I will be writing down the misdemeanour that will come into force when we eventually meet. You got that?"
"Yes Miss," I said smiling nervously.
"Fuck Sake." she retorted angrily. "When did I say you were to call me that?"
"When we leave each other today."
"Exactly. You must listen, you must pay attention and you must do as you are told. If you don't, I will decide the seriousness of your mistake and, when added to my list of failings will mark it out of ten. The higher the number or, when several mistakes add up, the more the punishment. Understand?"
"Yes," I said.
"Good," she smirked. "Remember, you get away with it today but after our meet, the fun begins."
We parted ways, saying our goodbyes and I told her that it was lovely to meet her.
"Lovely to meet you as well," she said. "Glad you got in touch. I think I am going to have a lot of fun with you."
This last sentence made me nervous.
