A Dominants Weaness

Dominance has been more than just a part of my life, it has very simply been who I am. For me it is not some role playing game to spice things up in vanilla relationships. I found the beauty and pleasures of a D/s lifestyle well before it was prevalent in every corner of the internet, before it became something that was glorified in books and movies to the point of warping its true beauty and purpose. Being a Dominant, guiding and caring for a submissive is as essential to me as kissing is to others. So how would a woman almost twenty years younger and new to the world of submission have such a drastic effect on me?

It all started with a simple passing comment, "I just found a Dom and I am exploring submission". At the time it did not register as much more than a very candid and open admission from someone that I knew very little about and had only met once briefly. How did I not see that this simple admission would change everything, throw my world into upheaval and change the way I looked at a lifestyle I had for most of my adult life.

It was originally a business relationship, Amrita had responded to an ad for a waitress at a private party. While the details of our first meeting/interview were not very interesting at all there was always a sly sarcasm in her tone, a sexy confidence in her person and those eyes, those eyes were always there. We were scheduled to meet for a second interview in a few weeks and if you have not guessed by now the "interview" was going to be much more than the standard fare of job experience and skills. These parties required specific skills and it was understood that she would be showing me those particular things from her knees and while showing me her ability to give pleasure to men.

After hanging up the phone with Amrita, I thought how wonderful it was to be new to the lifestyle, all of the things she had to look forward to, the experiences, the journey and the discovery. I decided to send a simple text offering her a friendly face in the D/s world, someone to ask questions or simply just speak with about things that you cannot with others. My offer at the time was nothing more than a friendly gesture, however looking back I can see that she had a pull on my being that secretly had me hoping that she would respond. Little did I know that her response and the subsequent weeks of interaction would be so profoundly delightful.

A few hours passed and she did respond, mostly with questions about me, my relationships in the lifestyle and many other things. We both began to be drawn in, the slow build up of trust and openness leading to a sharing on a much more intimate level. Soon there was a photo shared by her of a recent scene and it was then at that moment that I felt the full gravity of her presence. The photo of her bound, the restraints pulling on her neck, choking her as she struggled between freedom and air. It was the look on her face, a serenity of the moment and her utter submission that made me want her, need her and know that I would have her.

I don't remember exactly when but she was the one to ask if at our meeting we could explore more deeply our D/S connection and she agreed to submit to me. In that moment she became my good girl and I very simply, Sir.

Our conversations gravitated towards rules and structure for her, daily tasks and detailed instruction on what would be required of her when we meet. She devoured it all, asking more questions and constantly working her hardest to please me. She was as diligent in her punishments as she was in her rewards and I could feel her desire growing. She was mine as completely as any women had ever been and yet it was all happening through words on the screen of a phone.

She was voracious, needing more and more as the days progressed. I ignored the feelings growing within me, the more I grew to know her the more I desired her. The pictures she sent whether it was of her cunt spread, dripping and wet or a pose showing the soft gentle curves of her body made me burn to feel her skin, taste her sex and look into those eyes that had captured me from the start.

One of our discussions surrounded the fact that we would have to use condoms for the encounter as I was fluid bonded with my collared submissive. She understood but we were both disappointed to know that there would b any barriers to our pleasure. Her desire to feel me fill her with my cum engorged me and made me think about how she would feel wrapped around my swollen cock, wet and sticky with our cum, I don't believe there are many things that I have desired more.

The start of our day was not complete until she gave m her daily check-in, her schedule for the day, what she was wearing , her tasks from me and of course the questions from my curious good girl. I so enjoyed all of the questions, it showed her devotion and attention to detail but secretly I longed for every question as they provided an insight into her as much as they did me.

This had become far more than a scene to be played out by two people, she had become so much more. When I spoke the words "good girl" they were not simply a pet name they were who she was to me, my good girl. The days dragged on forever until it was just a few days before our meeting, she was prepared as well as she could be. She understood that her body would be for my pleasure, her pussy, her mouth and even her ass if I chose it would be used in any ways I saw fit. She accepted that there would be pain, she understood that I longed to watch her suffer but that I also owned the sweet pleasure within her. Her orgasms were mine to be given only by me and to be experienced only with my permission. We were both ready, wanton and greedy for all that was to come.

That was when the revelation came, I was in love with this woman. How do you fall in love with someone that you have only really interacted with by words on a screen? I saw all of the beauty and strength in her, her insecurity and spirituality, her vulnerability and her wanton sexuality. Her physical beauty stunned me and caught me off guard with every photo, she was to me the definition of the feminine. I also came to realize that I could not be in some casual relationship with her, no that would just never suffice. If I were to be with her I would want and need her down to her soul. My second revelation was disturbing and painful, how would this effect the other people in my life?

I had people that depend on me and that I had deep and unbreakable commitments to. My life was not one of convention and a single relationship in the vanilla or D/s world was a rarity, complicated would be a term that comes to mind. Also, how would my selfishness effect her, the delicate flower of a new submissive requires care and would I be able to provide that for her or would my own desires lead me to hurt her as well. I knew that she would give herself to me completely, I would have the control to bend her to my will as I please, and she wanted this as much as I did. Dominance is not a right, it is a gift and a privilege that should be earned and respected. I knew this and could not escape the fact that I was not right for her, this realization tore thru me like knife.

My night was fitful, restless and ultimately sleepless with the thought of telling my good girl that all of our thoughts and desires would never come to fruition. In the morning I wrote her, we discussed the reasons and surprisingly she told me that she would respect my decision. Then she asked if even knowing that we could never meet again or maybe even talk could she ask, or beg that we still meet as planned. While I pretended to consider it the truth is that my decision was made as soon as her request appeared on my screen. I owned her body and mind yet I was powerless at times with her. It was settled we would have just one day, one encounter, one chance to experience everything we both desired.