Nov. 8
Sometimes I feel like a vampire. I make women my victims; willing victims grant you. It is the same whether I am photographing them or fucking them. I feed my appetites with them, my need to make them give in to that part of themselves that they have to keep hidden, to admit the animal part of themselves, to treat them as purely female, fucked, dominated, made to please me, to become instruments of my pleasure, objects of desire. I need them to release the masculine in me, to make me feel alive. When a woman is with me, when she gives herself over to me, we become like two vines which twist around each other, a sort of twisted embrace of our own complimentary desires, mine, to use her for my pleasure and hers to be used for pleasure. It is a sort of dance really, a twisted dance.
I kind of felt guilty about Cat. She is married, if unhappily. I definitely have made her life more complicated, but I wanted her and she wanted it, not me, but what I give to her. I have been with enough women to know who will submit to me. I knew Cat would. I just had to handle her right. Most men fuck it up. They let things go to their heads, they let their fears get in the way or they take a ham-fisted approach. There are a million ways to fuck it up. Cat was my victim now. She had a taste and she would want more. She liked it more than she liked to let on. I was going to have fun with her.
But right now I was hungry. Pussy makes me that way. I can go for long times without it, but when I get it I just want more and more. Most women can't deal with it, certainly not a woman who is satisfied with one orgasm, and few are after they have been with me. Submitting to me does have it's rewards for the woman who can appreciate them. I wanted something less troublesome, something wilder, more twisted, more willing. I wanted Susan. Susan was very twisted, very intelligent, very beautiful, and very ruthless when it came to getting what she needed. Even the way I met her was twisted.
A few years ago I was fucking a girl much younger than myself. She was a little crazy, she was just a sophomore in college when we met. She said she wanted some nude photos, I had photographed her friend and she saw them and soon we were fucking. She even got her friend in on the act. Like I said she was a little crazy, literally. I didn't know it at the time but she was seeing a psychologist at the university she attended. Apparently she told the psychologist about me and our sexual proclivities. One day at work there I got a visit at the studio by someone who said they were the girl's counselor. She told me that she was concerned about the girl and she wanted to ask me if some of the things she had been told were true. It didn't seem very professional, but I went along. The doctor was not bad looking, about thirtyish, slim, 5'7", pale skin, red, wavy hair, and pale blue eye. But it was the freckles that caught my eye. She had these wonderful freckles across the bridge of her nose and cheeks. She was striking, all the more in her gray skirt and jacket, with very high heeled black pumps. She definitely knew how to present herself, a quality I admire in a woman.
"I think I should tell you that Patty is bipolar."
"So, she seems alright to me, maybe a little reckless, but hey, we all can be a times."
"I am sure you are impressed that a woman as young as her is attracted to you, but you must understand that very often women with her condition become sexually obsessed and have difficulty maintaining boundaries."
"Is that a bad thing?" I said laughing.
She didn't answer.
"Patty has told me some things about your relationship, about you, and I wondered if they were true."
"Such as."
"She said that you had sex with her as many as five times in a twenty four hour period."
"Well, the truth is we had sex more than that. I only came five times. I really like to fuck and Patty seemed to like it so much I figured why not. She is a very responsive girl. She comes dozens of times when we get together."
"She said that when you were together that you spent long periods of time in sexual activities, that you did not seem easily satisfied, that your appetite for sex was greater than any man she had known."
Now I was sure of it, it was me she was interested in.
"Well she is young, she doesn't have much experience with many men."
"You might be surprised. She said you would tie her up, spank her, that your relationship involve activities associated with BDSM.
"You are asking some very personal questions. What is your interest here?"
I could see the beginnings of a smile on Dr. Susan's face as she looked directly at me and then she became more serious.
" I suppose I could tell you I was here to protect her or that my interests were strictly professional,… but, that would be wrong. You see, the reason I understand Patty and I was curious about you is that we have something in common. We are both bipolar."
"What does that have to do with me?"
