Author's note: Fiction. Gregg finds his life upended after a difficult breakup, and finds it leading him to an entirely new kind of household.
I wonder what would have happened if I had never confessed. At the time life seemed good. I had settled down with Alison and even proposed marriage.
When I proposed we had agreed to wait before we set a date. This seemed fine at the time. We were doing very well together. Soon after we got engaged, she decided to take another job (she had been my secretary). She said it created a conflict of interest for her working under me at the same time we were so heavily involved personally.
She took a job with a law firm that was well-known locally and had even begun to attract a nationwide clientele. The job seemed to fit her well and she soon found herself working as a paralegal. This was great for our income, but it meant now there were many nights she had to stay late at the office, and a couple of times she had to travel out of state.
I was happy to see her do well, but hated to have my time with her curtailed. Also I missed her efficiency around the office. My new secretary was OK, but it just was not the same, and it meant I had to put in more time just to get the same work done.
Alison seemed to love it, though. When I did have time with her, she was smiling all the time and had lots of interesting stories about her job, her boss, and the interesting and sometimes evil people with whom they had to deal.
One night soon after a particularly grueling and successful case, she and I were making love when she commented on the small tattoos on my groin and buttocks (I had had the "property of Lynette H." script covered up with intricate designs just about the time I moved in with Alison).
"What is that?" she asked. "It's a strange place for a tattoo." I was right then feeling very close to her. I just did not feel like making something up. So I confessed to her about my past relationship with Lynette.
Alison looked angry. "I just don't know what to say," she told me. "When exactly were you going to talk to me about this? It makes me feel like I don't know you. I think we should stop now, and I think I'd like it if you slept in the spare bedroom tonight"
I burst into tears and begged her not to stop the sex, not to exile me like this, but she was adamant. All she said was, "I need time to think." So off I trudged to the spare bedroom.
The next morning, I slept a little late and when I get up there was a note from Alison. She said she had decided to go on into the office because she wanted to catch up on some paperwork she'd forgotten. It was a Saturday and I thought she was going to take the entire weekend off for a change, but she was obsessed with the job. I was a little disappointed because I wanted to get our difficulty of the previous night behind us.
We shared housework pretty much 50 – 50, and so I just got started on my chores, and when I got done, turned on the TV to watch some college football. A few minutes later in walked Alison.
"Turn off the television, Gregg," she told me. I hated to do so because the university team was playing and I was a big fan, and I'm sure she saw my hesitation. Nevertheless I did as she asked.
"I find what you told me last night very disturbing, Gregg," she said. "It's something that should have been discussed up front before we got involved. I'm not sure what kind of relationship I can have with you now.
"For the time being I'd like it if you continued to sleep in the guest bedroom," she continued.
"But Alison, I'm still the same person. I haven't lied to you. I still love you. I help you around the house. I do everything you ask."
"You didn't exactly lie," she replied, "But you withheld something very important about yourself, something very important about how you relate to women, and I have to figure out if I can still be with you after knowing this. And I suggest you give me plenty of space while I make up my mind. It's important if you want there to be any hope at all for this relationship."
After a while she went out again, and told me just to get dinner on my own. She wasn't back until late, long after I'd gone to bed in the spare bedroom. The next day she slept late, and went out again most of the day.
She didn't come home until after I had eaten. She sat down in front of me, and said, "We have to talk.
"I love you very much," she continued. "But I can't handle what you told me. It's disgusting, and I hate it, and so even though I love you, I can't stand you right now."
"Isn't there anything at all I can do to help make it better?" I asked. At this she began to cry. "No," she said. "It's too painful now. In fact I can't handle you living here any more. I'm going to have to ask you to move out as soon as you can."
"Does this mean we're not engaged any more," I replied. At this she sobbed louder, ripped the engagement ring off her finger and threw it at my feet.
"Just get away from me," she screamed. "I don't want to even see you now." I retreated to my room. The next morning she went to work early and I didn't even see her. I could tell by her coldness that evening it really was time to move. I found an apartment within a week and had all my stuff out a day or two later.
I was devastated. Afterward, it seemed I did nothing but go to work and otherwise just seemed to sit at home heartbroken.
After a few months of this I was at home reading one Saturday when the phone rang. It was Alison. As soon as the hello's were done, she said, "I really do want to apologize for how I treated you when we broke up. I don't want to say more over the phone. Could we meet somewhere?"
I agreed immediately, and hope was making my heart beat faster. We met about an hour later at a roadside diner where there were a lot of private booths.
"Gregg," she told me looking into my eyes. "I know I was very unfair to you when you confessed what your relationship had been with Lynette. I said some very hurtful things, and I'm deeply, deeply sorry."
"That's OK Alison," I said tentatively. "Does this mean we can start seeing each other again?"
"No Gregg. I'm sorry. It doesn't," she said. "You see after you moved out I started thinking about everything you said, and it made me feel things I hadn't felt before. Once I quit being angry I started wondering about myself. A couple of months ago, I went out for drinks with one of the new partners at work. She's a beautiful wonderful woman, and I've been fascinated with her since I started working there.
"After we'd had a little wine, she interrogated me gently about why I had been feeling out of sorts, and I just told her everything about us."
My heart sank. I'd had no idea she might be bisexual.
Alison picked up on my feeling, and said, "It's not exactly what you think, Gregg. She did take me home that night, and we did make love, but she introduced me to a whole new world. I'm her slave now, and I've never been happier."