He used the long length of nylon rope to stroke her skin. He watched as her body reacted to the caress of the rope on her neck behind her ears, also along her shoulders and across the top of her back between her shoulder blades. He could feel her desire. She tried not to writhe and she stifled her moans, almost.
"You know that I love my girlfriend. You know that I love her differently than I love you. I keep you both in separate places in my heart and in my mind. Talking about her when I'm with you is a very strange experience for me. It both accentuates and minimizes the chasm between you both in me. There are good things that I share with her. Just as there are bad things that I have to endure with her. I will not end my relationship with her unless she demands that I negate my own nature. To end my relationship with you would be to negate my nature - so I will not do that. Again, you may make a different choice."
He had not stopped stroking her skin with his hand and with the nylon rope. Every nerve in her body was fully charged and tingling. Still she tried to remain perfectly still - pretending (if only to herself) that she felt nothing.
"Rise to all fours, little one." This was his first command other than to write that he'd given all evening. It didn't even cross her mind to disobey, until after she was already on all fours in the middle of her bed.
He pulled another long length of nylon rope out of his duffel. This rope was thinner in diameter. He cupped her left breast and placed the rope under her breast. He slowly began to bind her. He used a figure-8 pattern to bring her breasts together. 6 wraps to each breast. They would start to turn a deep purple very soon. He helped her to lie on her back. The rope kept her breasts at attention. At his full attention. He pinched her nipples. Hard. Finally she could no longer hold her moan within her. She arched her back and her eyes fluttered shut as the first orgasm shook her.
He quickly looped the thick nylon rope through the second D-ring and tied her hands to the headboard above her head. He knew that this would also add tension to her breasts. He pinched and twisted for some time as she rocked within her orgasms.
"You fight against this desire that we bring out in each other. You know that it is real and that it is powerful and that it scares you. You are drawn to me. We fill a need within that no one else can. For how much time? We can never know that. It would diminish it to have an answer to that."
He was stroking her breasts with his finger nails. Just gently scratching her sensitive breasts. He would scratch over her nipple and she would jump. He would circle his finger nail just above the last wrap of rope and she would arch towards him. Her heavy breathing sounded strange as it came through her nose but also around the ball gag.
"You are correct about my sometimes choosing not to spend time with you when I could."
She froze.
"I crave time for myself, little one. I have not been alone, utterly alone, in years. Even to look around my house and know that I'm surrounded by other is an oppressive weight that I sometimes think will crush me. Time away from you and time away from my girlfriend is still not time alone. It is only time apart. In my room. In my workshop. In my truck, usually. On my bike. These are stolen moments when I'm apart, but almost never alone. The sounds of my own thoughts get lost in the pressure of others."
He could feel her wanting to ask something and he even knew what her question was.
"Yes, little one. Even you are a pressure sometimes. You try to not be - but I make a pressure in your shape. It is hard to say this the right way. I feel you and I want you as I want to be alone and that creates a pressure."
She pulled the nylon rope out of the slip knot he'd tied. He'd not been diligent about keeping the end of the rope out of her reach. He could feel her building up the breath to scream "then just leave".
He grabbed her before she could jump off the bed.
"This is my truth, little one, and I must share it. React later. Hear me, now."
She didn't want to. She really didn't want to. But he was right. He had read every thing she'd just written - all of her occasional-hate and frequent-disappointment consolidated into a page or two. She would listen. She would hear. She indicated that she wanted the ball gag removed and the restraints taken off. Implying that she'd listen but not as his slave.
"No, little one. I love you but you'll interrupt me. You'll have your say without hearing me. I love you, but you know that I'm right about this."
All she could do was nod her head and laugh behind the ball gag. It was exactly true. She laid back down in exactly the same spot and held her hands above her head while he retied her.
He put the ankle restraints on her and tied her, spread-eagle on the bed. He used his finger tips to gently caress her breasts and her abdomen. He bent his head to her nipples and sucked on them hard. He cupped her pussy in his right hand and felt her pooling moisture on his palm.
"I've made you no promises and you've asked for none. I love you and I give what I can. Things are in constant change with my girlfriend, you know that. I don't know what it means or what may happen. My love for you does not change, but I don't know what it means or what may happen. You may make a different decision."
He rubbed her clit with fingers that were covered in her natural lubricant. Just before she climaxed, he stopped. He waited for her breathing to calm.
"Now, you may speak, little one." He reached behind her head and removed the ball gag.
