It all came about because my husband, Roger, and I took in a lodger. She was a lovely young thing, a tall blonde, beautifully built if slightly on the muscular side, and the local girls school's new physical education mistress. I say "school", it was more of a home for wayward girls aged between 18 and 20 years – a place they would be sent to avoid going to adult prison.
My name is Priscilla Pain – an appropriate name, you may think, in view of the story I am about to relate. I am a former warder at a women's prison and as such it was often my task to discipline naughty inmates. That was back in the 1960s, when a lot of things went on that possibly should not have gone on – or so the lily-livered liberals would have you believe.
And even though the events I am about to relate occurred in the 1980s – 1985, to be precise - some government institutions, being a law unto themselves, still conducted the business of corporal punishment for their most recalcitrant troublemakers. Political correctness has, sadly, seen the most efficacious "rule of the rod" depart from our nation's educational curricula. And more's the pity, if you ask me.
I was, when the events of which I speak occurred, a rather matronly woman of 45. My husband, Roger – now, sad to say, deceased – was 40. He was a large man with a broad posterior. It was a posterior on which I practised my cane-wielding abilities, which was an admirable situation for us both.
You see, I have always been a somewhat assertive woman, and Roger was an extremely submissive man. I guess that a psychiatrist would today describe us as a sadist and a masochist, although I prefer using the words dominant and submissive, myself. I find those terms far less daunting, don't you?
Anyway, Roger and I answered an advertisement in the local newspaper calling for a respectable family to take in as a lodger a new member of the staff at Birch House School for Recalcitrants. We applied and obviously impressed the headmistress, a lovely lady called Mrs Ramsbottom – an apt name for a lady with a posterior almost as wide as my dear husband's.
On our way out of the headmistress's study, she called me back.
"Mrs Pain," she said, when she was sure my husband had entered the corridor outside, "I have decided to choose you because I was very impressed with your references. Especially the one about your career as a prison warder."
"It was one of my most pleasant jobs," I replied, candidly.
"Yes, I'm sure it was," said Mrs Ramsbottom. "I understand that one of your tasks at Hardcastle Prison was to administer punishments to those who had got out of hand, as it were?"
I smiled. "I was not known for sparing the rod and spoiling the child, if you get my meaning," I told the head.
"Precisely," smiled Mrs Ramsbottom, who now that I looked at her more closely had a beautiful, large but firm-looking bust.
"I only mention it because as part of her duties here, Miss Buxton will be required to administer corporal punishment on our more, let's say 'ill-disciplined' pupils. She is well aware of the requirement as part of her job description but is not aware how she will react until the need arises."
"And you want me to pass on some of my long-since acquired skills?" I said, as Mrs Ramsbottom paused.
"Precisely, my dear Mrs Pain," she replied. "Do you think you will be able to, how shall I put it – handle that?"
I gave her my most winning smile. "I still have a collection of rods, canes and birches which I will be able to use to help iron out any deficiencies in her technique, my dear headmistress," I told her. "In fact, I think I might even be able to provide her with a model to practice on."
Mrs Ramsbottom raised her eyebrows in dual question marks. "You mean?" And she nodded her head in the direction of the corridor.
"Exactly, Mrs Rambsottom," I told her. "There are times when Mr Pain has to be kept in line, as it were. I'm sure that Miss Buxton will be able to witness one of his correction sessions and learn a lot from them."
I was about to leave the head's study when it occurred to me that a list of the school rules regarding corporal punishment might be handy.
"Do you have any written rules concerning how your discipline is meted out?" I asked. "It will be helpful for me, and I may be able to suggest some refinements."
Mrs Ramsbottom nodded her head. "Miss Carter!"
An attractive young brunette of about 20, opened a side door and waited meekly.
"A copy of Birch House's flogging rules, Carter," the headmistress snapped and the young thing nodded her head, and quickly departed to fetch them.
Handing them to me, Mrs Ramsbottom smiled: "I think this is all you will need for the time being. Miss Buxton arrives in a week. I shall call you towards the end of next week to see how she is, er – progressing? I know you will be a most effective teacher for her, Mrs Pain."
Back home, I relaxed in an easy chair while Mr Pain prepared me a pre-dinner aperitif of Harvey's Bristol Cream Sherry, if you can call sherry an aperitif. I opened the papers and read through the Birch House rules.
They were very simple and straightforward:
1. All discipline will be carried out on the miscreant's bare buttocks. 2. The flesh will not be broken. 3. The discipline will be administered by the school PE teacher, or whomever the headmistress appoints for the task. 4. The discipline will be administered in the headmistress's study and witnessed by her and school matron. 5. Discipline will be administered at the end of the school day. 6. For mild offences, six strokes will be delivered. 7. For serious offences, 12 strokes.
I read the rules and handed them to my husband, who was standing by my chair, as I had not dismissed him. "Your comments, my dear," I ordered, after passing him the piece of paper.
He read them and replied: "No nudity factor, no counting."
Roger was, as you will have seen, a man of few words.
"Precisely," I said, "and both matters which I shall take up with Mrs Ramsbottom when I see her next."
The day of Miss Buxton's arrival dawned and she seemed a pleasant enough girl – mid to late 20s, blonde, short-cropped hair, busty, strong calves and thigh muscles, judging by the little skirt she wore.
After dinner had been cleared away on her first evening, I dismissed my husband and sat down in the lounge for a chat with Miss Buxton.
After some pleasantries, I plunged into the subject that most interested me. "Part of your duties are to administer corporal punishment, I am informed," I told her.
"That's right, Mrs Pain," she replied, quietly. "I'm not at all sure I'm going to be very good at it. But Mrs Ramsbottom tells me that you are an expert." She looked at me, expectantly.
"Indeed, I am," I smiled. "And if you wish, I shall give you a short lesson in delivering the cane to a miscreant's backside, and then observe your technique." There was no point in beating about the bush, the girl had to be taught – there might be a pupil in need of a thrashing on her first day!
"What will you use for a target, Mrs Pain," the oh-so-innocent young thing asked, "a pillow?"
"No, something far more educational than that," I told her. "We shall use a real live bottom. Mr Pain's in fact."
Her eyes popped! "Mr Pain? Oh goodness, is that wise?"
I patted her softly on her knee. "Of course, my dear. My husband is one of those people who has come to experience the efficacy of the cane on a regular basis. He is now an expert at bending over and being whipped. Shall we go, I've told him to be prepared for us."
Miss Buxton stood.
"Oh, by the way," I said, as I walked to the door. "You're not a prude, I trust. You have no objection to a bit of male nudity?"
By "a bit of" I meant total nakedness, but she'd find out soon enough.
"Er, no, of course not, Mrs Pain," she said, although she didn't sound too sure.
I took her upstairs and ushered her into our rather cramped bedroom. But although I say "cramped", there was certainly room to wield a rod of discipline!
There, bent over the bed in his altogether was my pasty-bodied husband, quite naked. His big bum was thrust out ready for the cane, which he had laid on the bed. It was, I noticed, a slender Miss Whippy model, one of my favourites, if not one of his!
Stepping to the bed I picked up the cane and flexed it through my fingers. Lithe, supple, a real little stinger!
I tapped my husband's bum. "Ankles and thighs together, Mr Pain," I admonished him, "Miss Buxton has no desire to see your dangly bits."
"You may wonder why he is in the nude," I added, when he had settled. "The whole point of an effective punishment is first to deliver pain, of course. The second point is to humiliate. A humiliated floggee is far less likely to re-offend. Hence his nudity."
Miss Buxton nodded her understanding, then she stepped off to one side and I told Mr Pain to press up from the bed, so he was half-bent over it.
"I always use the half-bending position for a floggee," I informed Miss Buxton. "The bend-over-touch-your-toes position tautens the buttocks far too much – especially young, teenage buttocks. It makes the skin prone to tearing. And, I notice by the school rules, that is forbidden."
Then I raised the cane in my right hand and swished it down across Mr Pain's backside. The cane's path would not have exceeded three feet, but it cut delightfully into his big bum, the cheeks bouncing under the searing impact.
"One, thank-you, Mrs Pain," grunted my husband, in our little counting ritual.
"Another essential ingredient in a floggee's punishment and humiliation is having to count out the stroke and thank the punisher," I informed our young lodger.
"Now, are you right or left-handed, Miss Buxton?"
The lovely blonde said: "Left-handed, Mrs Pain."