A Big Lady and a Tiny Man

"Bryn?"

"Yes, darling. I've got an email from that Kate James. She wants to know if we want to go to a rugby club ex-member party."

"I thought that would be happening sooner or later."

"Ohh, do you want to go then?"

"Love to sweetheart, don't you want to?"

"Not really, they don't like me."

"Bollocks."

"It's true."

"Who doesn't like you"

"Kate for one."

"For fucks sake girl, let's analyse this. When did you last see Kate James or AJ for that matter?"

"About ten years ago."

"Aye, and the rest. You haven't seen her since we were playing, have you?"

"No, I don't suppose so."

"We need to get this right if we want an accurate outcome love. Did Sue like you then?"

"No"

"Did Rosa like you then?"

"No"

"Did my Annie like you?"

"You know she didn't."

"No, and poor old Annie is the only one who won't have the pleasure of changing her mind about you. Now she would though, she would like you cos you have made me happy again."

"Kate will like you now as well love. She was my Annie's best mate so she didn't like you back then because Annie didn't. You must just trust me on this piggy."

"They all like you now. Poor Katy can't, she hasn't had a chance yet." My poor piggy looked sad, "you don't have to judge people anymore love. They ain't judging you! Are they?"

"Spose not!"

"You silly bitch, you sound like a 13-year-old. Tiny and I love every millimetre of you. You get fucked by a wonderful man and you have a 35-year-old baby who l cannot get through her thick head that your fun bags belong to me."

"Don't judge love, it's a fucking ugly bitchy trait that has no place in your beautiful head. Even if I was wrong and Katy wasn't nice, you be nice, give her air kisses and just remember AJ has a cock nearly as small as Tiny's.

That did the trick my little piggy gave me one of her very best smiles giggled a bit and said, "do you think we can take Tiny."

"Not sure, where is the little fucker? I haven't seen him all morning."

"Ohh he is a gardener now."

"Oh is she"

"She has a greenhouse. It was delivered yesterday while you were out on your bike and Tiny is now scaring the three big strong boys from Norfolk shitless while they put it up. They have instructions to come and find me if she becomes too much."

I went to look from an upstairs window, Van was right they were terrified of him.

The past comes for a visit and a favour.

A week after the invite to the rugby club party there was a knock on the door. We don't normally get knocks on the door without the gateman asking for the OK to let the visitor in. The retired Colonel who runs the residents association would be furious about it.

He had tried to tell me motorbikes were banned from the estate. I told him to fuck right off. So I assumed they were Jehova's Witnesses or some other nuisance God botherer and went to the door with a big fuck off on my lips.

There stood the past. Or rather two of my favourite people from my past. Kevin Redman and Rosa. Rosa was Rosa Biggs but as I'd heard these two were together and Mick "the shit" Biggs had left Rosa for a male bodybuilder I was just going to call her Rosa for now.

Red, was a bit of a star at our level of club rugby. I was a biggish strong fecker suited to play at Number eight, Red was a powerful highly skilled hooker. Big for his position but very agile with it. Like having a fourth back-row player and the second-biggest chopper in the showers after.

We also had something else in common. He had lost his wife as well. As Rosa went in to have a woman's nosey round he put his hand on my arm. We both know mate. We both know there is nothing to say to make it better.

We did what men do at this point, shook hands and said nothing.

"I'll get Vands in a sec but I need to warn you about Tiny."

"I've met tiny said Rosa." I've told Kev all about him."

"Ok, he's a one-off Kev. Before you get her can I ask you a question said, Rosa?"

"You can but the answer is I love her she is devoted to me, if I asked her to cut her clit off and fry it for me on a stick I think she would. We are getting married sooner or later."

"Yes said Rosa that's pretty much what Van said when we all went for a coffee. I didn't like her much back then. But I do now!"

"She has got the only thing she ever wanted Rosa. And it's not my chopper. She belongs now, she belongs to me and Tiny, what the silly bitch doesn't realise is we belong to her as well. My chopper helps though!"

"That's not what we were going to ask said Kev."

"Go on then."

"I think you two have a similar relationship to us."

"What's that then Kev?"

"Rosa, show him your bum."

"This Rosa was a different kettle of fish from the one I remembered. She hadn't sat down when Kev and I did. She turned around, lifted her skirt and revealed 12 welts left by a cane on her cheeks. Yeh, I reckon you probably do I said. Nice neat work mate!"

"Good, we are on the same page, can I go find Van, said Rosa. I'll leave you to ask Bryn."

Rosa wandered off.

"Ask me what Kev?"

"Yeah, thanks for that love."

"Rosa turned to us. Pointed her index finger up under her chin gave Kev the I'm a total airhead smile and said "you can't expect an obedient compliant subby slut to ask questions like that, can you?"Winked and left.

"Ask me what Kev," I repeated.

"Do you know Rosa's mum?"

"I thought she died when Rosa was a baby and she was brought up by that dirty bitch of an Aunt."

"Yeh, Rosa calls her mum, the only mum she can ever remember. Well, Rosa's mum/aunt is a dyke."

"No, she ain't mate," I said with the certainty of a man who had been there on more than one occasion. "I can tell you a thing or two about Rose."

"You lucky fucker. Yes, well, she bats ambidextrous then. You'd be amazed at who else she's shagging.

"Yes, she is very possibly bi, but I wouldn't be amazed if I found out she was shagging the Pope mate."

"She has a little girlfriend. Who defo bats for the other side."

"Yes."

"She is only 18. Only just 18."

"Yeh"

"The kid is a genius. More A levels than you can shake a stick at. Rose is insisting she goes to University."

"Really. Has she never been told to keep them well shagged poorly shod and chained to the cooker?

"You are a cunt, Bryn"

"I try to keep my end up, mate."

"So where do I or rather we come in?"

"Little Bunny is crying about how much money Rose spends on her". Now Rose has an idea to send Bunny's best mate to the Royal College of Ballet as well. They both have been offered assisted places

Little Bunny, who like her mate comes from shit street, shitsville is getting fretful that people will think she only wants Rose for her money."

"Does she Kev?"

"No mate, not at all. Rose rescued her from a situation where she was in danger from a bastard of a stepfather and an employer abusing her. Now she just has Rose abusing her. But that's like you and I abuse these two."

"So, Rosa hit on a plan we have a dungeon party for Rose's birthday and we auction Rosa's bits to the highest bidder. That should raise a bob or two. How do you feel about someone playing in your playground?"

"To be honest, watching her get shagged or blowing someone who has to pay for it is a bit of a turn-on."

"So what can we do then Kev?"

"Put Vanda on the auction block as well."

"Ohh I don't know about that. Mate. I'll donate."

"No buddy. Your not seeing it. It's not about the money. The money for it isn't a scrap of skin off Rose's nose it's probably going to cost her more to host this party, look at this."

"Kev got his iPad out and showed me a film clip of Rosa in a full-body cage. It was an incredible device. Each tit, bum cheek, her cunt, arse and mouth could be unlocked for access but poor Rosa could not move a muscle.l

"Jesus Christ on a bike, that's awesome. Let me guess. Another Kevin from Cambridge creation. He's a devious fucker ain't he."

"Do you know of him?"

"Vanda is wearing one of his chastity belts as we speak. It's fecking amazing."

"If she does it, Kev will make one more only, for Vanda. Rose will pay."

"Mate I think you just got yourselves a second whore to sell."

"Word of warning, don't let Rose hear you call anyone a whore."

"Why not, she was one, fucking good one I think."

"How did you know that Bryn?"

"I did some bodyguarding for her back when I was fucking her. Had to extract her from one or two dodgy situations."

"Funny, she never said,"

"She may not have twigged Kev, she always called me Brian."

"You'd normally be tearing heads off when they call you Brian."

"She was paying an 18-year-old apprentice way over his overtime rate and I got a lot of added benefits."

"So are you up for it then?"

"If Vanda is cool with it then yes, I'm not forcing anything on her. She has to say she wants it and I have to believe she wants it."

"Can I have a copy of that film clip or has Rosa already shown it to Vanda?"

"No, Rosa is just talking, we know how you too are so we decided to see what you thought first. Rose says you are welcome to have the keys to her place in Wales. You can have it for a week to try it out.

We can babysit Tiny for you. Not sure if you know but he knows Rosa well. She minded him for a weekend so Van could get a bit of respite just before the girls fixed up your meeting.l

"Did every fucker except me know about, and have a hand in that?"

"Not the guys mate. If it makes you feel any better it was Jill Vardy who cancelled my hotel booking. I had to take up Rosa's offer for a bed the night of the reunion disco."

"I can see that was a hardship."

"Bryn, did you know I gave her a good seeing to the night before she married the sneaky little bastard?"

"Kev, did you know I used to nip around to Vanda's flat regularly before I married Annie?"

"We ain't got many real complaints then have we Bryn?"

"Not a single one here mate. Sue did me a real favour."

"To be honest I think there is a power behind the scenes at work here."

"Yeh, who?"

"Someone who knew us both and had a vested interest in one particular member of our little group back then. I had an idea but I think you just confirmed it."

Do you mean Rose, Kev?

Yup.

But!

But, she never came down to the club Kev?

"Yeh really! Do you remember there was always a blond driving a Lotus Elan in the carpark watching the game? Perhaps she wasn't, perhaps she was watching out after one of the girls. She used to show up at away matches as well.

Yeah, the mystery blond Kev.

Bryn, there is a silver Elan in the garage on the farm in wales.

Do you know the reg of it Kev

Yes, I took a photo no one is going to remember the reg of the mystery blonde's car at the club.

My Annie will mate, no I ain't lost my marbles. Annie shot reels and reels of film. If there ain't a print I've got all her negatives at home.

Hang on Bryn. I don't think I really want to know.

You know what. Mate, neither do I

Let's go find our women mate. I bet my slut is showing yours her high-security knickers.

These are one of Cambridge Kev's jobs, are they?

Yes, buddy. They are a toy but their not a toy if you see what I mean. Can Van get off in them?"

"I ain't 100% sure, she says not."

"She has had it on for nearly a fortnight now. That's why I'm pretty sure she will say yes to the cage. I was going to give her one tonight but now only if she says yes. I'll figure out if yes still means yes when she comes down a bit."

"Looking past this auction I'm going to have some fun with my little Piggy in that cage."

"Piggy? That's a bit unkind isn't it Bryn?"

"Maybe, but not for the reason you think Kev. Even Tiny calls her Piggy now. That despite the fact Tiny loves to help me give her a bit of sweet torture. Our little heshe is devoted to Van. I christened her piggy because she squeals like a pig in a slaughterhouse when she comes. To be honest mate I came up with that name twenty years or more ago. I'd go as far as to say she likes the name as long as it's understood why she is piggy.

Even back then I used to spend hours with her tied over her kitchen table licking, fucking and sucking. The first arse I ever had, she wasn't amused then, but loves it now though! The first bum I ever spanked. Loves that now as well. She was feckin fat back then, but she was tremendous fun. I should have married her, too concerned with what people thought back then.

Just for the neighbour's sake, I had to gag her back then. Still don't know if I did the right thing marrying Annie. Van was always more fun, maybe if I'd married her I'd have kept my dick in my pocket and stayed out of trouble."

We had pretty much toured the house. But couldn't find anyone at all. I wonder if they are outside with Tiny I thought out loud. Kev looked a bit puzzled so I explained to him about our very own little heshe's new hobby, and how he seemed to be growing in himself now Vanda was not feeling so alone and unloved.

We found them in Tiny's greenhouse. He had the greenhouse, seeds pots and lots of plans but not a bit of soil compost or any growing medium at all. I still had my van so we planned a trip to the garden centre and fetching a tonne of topsoil from the local builder's merchants when our guests left."

Kev and Rosa had delivered the request from Rose. Rosa had told Vanda about the cage and Vanda was bursting to get me on my own to talk about it. Rose, a sensitive girl figured out Van wanted to talk to me so she dragged Kevin away.

Van was beside herself. She is a bloody pessimist and is always assuming the worse. This was no exception. OK, as I was telling Kev, she wasn't getting her fanny fucked three times a day but she was getting two or three loads from me deposited in either her arse or her mouth or splashed on her face and tits.

I know that sounds incredibly selfish but you need to know Vanda. You need to know that she gets more satisfaction from feeling wanted than she can ever get from a good fucking.

I think the cage is a cinch when I do end her cock embargo tonight. If this conversation and the pictures of Rosa in her cage affects her as I think it will. And when I go down on her to eat her buttered bun then share it with her in an hour-long snog after I've screwed her not-so-little bottom off. She will be begging for one.

All being well if Tiny leaves us alone in bed in the morning I'll screw it back on. I'm not going to insist the belt goes back on, I'm not even going to suggest it. I'll bet pound notes to pig shit she puts it back on and asked me to lock it. We are a funny couple. So funny there are three of us.