A conclave of noble-ish heroes gathered around the table, deciding how best to divide the spoils of their latest adventure amongst themselves. Amongst the merry band of murder-hobos, there was an elven wizard, a tiefling sorceress, a human barbarian, a half-elven rogue, and an aasimar cleric. At the head of the table sat a sixth person, a living personification of fate and destiny, the great and powerful Dungeon Master.
This was a normal Saturday night for the University tabletop roleplaying club. Instead of drinking, dancing, and occasionally getting laid like normal college students, we sat together in a dingy basement drinking lukewarm root beer and eating junk food, rolling dice at each other.
The DM, Lysander, a lean guy with a hawkish face, dark hair and square framed spectacles, gave me a cool glance.
"Tyler, roll me a knowledge arcana check."
In this particular campaign, I was the official party spell thrower and item identifier, the mysterious elven magician Elandre, the ambiguously gendered. A loose purple robe hid my androgynous frame, and nobody in the party knew my character's actual sex. Ashley's rogue tried to check once, while my character was sleeping, but she found out I'd woven an alarm spell into my underpants to prevent the curious from peeping.
I rolled my dice, "Nine."
"You added your bonus, right?" he reminded.
"Yes, I just rolled like shit," I sighed.
I checked his face for tells, but our DM kept his expression perfectly serene. "You have no idea what the potion does."
"It's purple and sparkly?" I asked.
"It is."
I gestured towards my roommate, Matt, currently roleplaying as the world's dumbest barbarian. "Hey Hragh! You've got a good constitution, drink this. It'll make you super strong. And it's grape flavored."
Matt was a gentle, intelligent, soft-spoken chubby guy in real life, with a non-threatening baby face. As part of the official uniform of computer science majors and hipster Linux enthusiasts everywhere, he also had a legit neckbeard. Basically, he was the opposite of the wiry musclebound barbarian he was roleplaying. He put on the most aggressive face he could muster, which wasn't terribly aggressive.
"Hragh no trust you! Last time Hragh drink weird potion, Hragh fill tavern's toilet with literal fire," he grunted.
Aw, no fun! "No, no, I'm not tricking you this time. Last time was just a joke, but this time I'm telling the truth. Um... Ashley's Character, tell him I'm trustworthy."
"It's Jack." Ashley said in a stage whisper.
Ashley was one of only two females in our tabletop group. Though as an utterly blatant butch lesbian she was more of an 'honorary dude' than anything. With her short purple hair and men's clothing, I'd say she was a trans man, but she was too curvy to pass as male, and didn't bind her boobs or use male pronouns. There was probably a fancy name for whatever weird gender thing she had going on, but she didn't care about the label, and neither did we. Her character was an actual dude, the party rogue.
"Jack, tell him I'm trustworthy," I corrected.
Ashley perked up and put on her fakest smile. "It's true. You should totally trust her. She's a wizard. She knows what she's talking about." She rolled the dice. "Got a twenty-one for Deception."
Ashley had apparently decided my character was a female. Matt agreed. Peter, our pervy cleric, maintained I was a futa, or feminine hermaphrodite. Chloe, the other girl, didn't want to share her opinion. Lysander was the only one who thought I was fully male underneath my robes. The latter was correct, Elandre was a man, though I wanted to keep the group guessing for as long as possible.
Matt nodded sagely, "Hragh have seven intelligence, no need for Sense Motive roll. Hragh decide the pretty man-woman not lie this time. He trust his friends and drink potion."
Lysander grinned cruelly from behind his DM screen. I swore the guy was a sadist, "Your body tingles and begins growing warmer. Something is happening. Do you want to try to resist the potion's effects?"
"Hragh feel weird," the barbarian said, before Matt spoke out of character, "Can I tell what is happening to me before I decide if I want to stop it?"
"You're not sure, but think you might be getting prettier," said Lysander.
"Hragh is an ugly bastard... but he has been tricked by pretty people many times." Matt explained. He switched back to his barbarian voice, "Beauty is a powerful weapon that will make Hragh strong! Hragh will not resist the beauty! Bring it on!"
"No Con save then," Lysander nodded. "Hragh, you feel your body changing. There is a faint burning and strange tingles. You feel your insides cramp. It is painful but not unbearable for one as strong as you. Over the next minute or so, you grow a little bit shorter, your hips widen, your bulging chest muscles turn into something a little softer..."
"Hah! Potion of gender bending," Ashley chuckled.
"Welcome to the sisterhood..." Chloe said quietly, with a shy little smile.
Chloe... we had no idea why she wanted to hang out in a dank basement with a bunch of pervy dudes and an equally pervy honorary dude. Unlike Ashley, she was feminine, though she hid her face behind her long hair, and hid her figure beneath a baggy hoodie and frumpy sweat pants. She was as pale as a ghost, with platinum blonde hair to match. She was also terrifyingly quiet, with a tendency to startle me every time she spoke up.
She was the party healbitch, a cleric specializing in support and healing magic. Yes, it was her idea. No, we didn't bully her into it. Yes, we actually called her a 'healbitch' in character. And no, she didn't seem to mind.
Despite our degrading term for it, being the official party healbitch was a role she embraced with an almost scary level of enthusiasm. Whenever our characters bossed her around, treated her like a doormat, or otherwise degraded her, she always seemed to smile and blush a little. I was pretty sure she was quietly getting off on it.
I might have had a little bit of a crush on her because of that. It was hard to supress the urge to constantly bully her.
"Indeed," Lysander confirmed. "Hragh, care to describe your new female form to us?"
Matt cleared his throat, not missing a beat, "The new Hragh is far more beautiful than before... a solid four out of ten at least. She stands at six foot five, chest and face still a patchwork of scars. She has bulging muscles, thick thighs, and a gigantic firm butt. The beard is gone, but the rest of her body is only slightly less hairy than then man she was before. She is very confused right now."
